February 06, 2010

Song of the South

Based on what Bones told me and how he's been practicing, I feel certain he passed the audition. Now he goes into what they call 'the lottery'. First step is passing the audition, second step is getting your name pulled.

I have no control over this part.

We find out in April...

Hear the Voices»

Posted by Boudicca at 08:09 PM | Comments (6)

Please Sir, May I have Some More?

*This was written after breakfast before all my comments on my new breakfast*

My one regret I have that I did not do before embarking on this new eating adventure, other than not eating at Mo's one more time, was that I didn't have my Doc check my cholesterol recently. I'd like to know how many points it drops by eating like this.

I'm still making an appointment for after it's done to see what it is... as I know the number from two years ago.

About Steel Cut Oats... when you open the can, it looks like hamster food. I'm not kidding. I opened it and thought, "No. I'm going to eat this?"

I don't know what I was expecting either. I think I was expecting twigs.

Anyway the recipe called for boiling it for a minute, leaving it with the lid on overnight and then, reboiling it the next morning for 10 minutes.

Except there is no reboiling. All the hamster food absorbed all the water. In essence, it's a 10 minute reheat.

Except I turned the stove on and then ran to do something, to come back to find Steel Cut Oats and the bottom of my pan had become... ONE.

It was time to serve it up. Looking in the pan it appeared to be brown rice. I quit eating white rice voluntarily about 18 years ago. I buy brown rice boil in a bag, which is probably not much better for you than white rice... it's probably just white rice with a tan.

Anyway, this was the consistency. It was brown rice boil in a bag texture, leaving me with the question:

Fork or Spoon?

I eat my brown rice with a fork, but I pretty much remember Oliver eating his porridge with a spoon. I opted for the spoon.

And I covered it in blueberries and bananas.

Overall, it's bland. It's definitely the stick to your ribbiest food I've eaten since embarking on this new food adventure four months days ago, overtaking the first place spot of peanut butter and whole grain toast.

I can't eat very much of it before I'm over full. That's not a bad thing and that alone may be why this becomes my new breakfast. I definitely think it would be much better with butter and brown sugar. Without the blueberries and bananas, there is a huge choke down effect.

I want to try this with peaches and strawberries. I can see eating it with seasonal fruit.

Wednesday's post will be on the positives I'm seeing... as there are many.

As for the title of this post, it couldn't be any other title now, could it?

Hear the Voices»

Posted by Boudicca at 08:30 AM | Comments (1)

February 05, 2010

Living the Life of Granola Girl

First, Bones' audition is tomorrow and he could not care one bit less.

Me?

I'm a mess.

Sometimes I need to be more like him.

Onto the edge of Granola Girl hell...

OK.

This is the deal. I'm never really hungry, but I'm never really full. I feel... empty. Does that make sense? I'm not craving anything, needing anything, but I'm not full.

I just... am.

And Dr. Oz may say he's a cardiologist, but I think he's in cahoots with the GI guys because I told my Dad, I've lost 2 pounds and it's been all water and anything left in my intestines.

All 30 feet of it. Give or take. Depending on true length.

Because when you eat like this, you either burn off the food or expel it and if you're eating yogurt and you're lactose intolerant... well... let's just say I told my Dad that if I need a colonscopy I'm eating Greek yogurt the day before.

So I have decided that starting tomorrow, I am going to try Steel Cut Oats for breakfast. And because I love you all so... I'm going to impart to you, how it goes.

First, I hate oatmeal. I don't do... mush. Second, I had heard Steel Cut Oats suck even more. Third, Dr. Oz said they're REALLY good for you and I read it helps cut down on cholesterol, plus it has a lower glycemic index than regular oatmeal.

With that I decided, "Why not? I'm all about the life experiences."

And wouldn't you know it, but my reader, Dick, happened upon saying he eats this stuff for breakfast and so I emailed him on how he prepared it and (Sorry, Dick, but this was just damn funny) he said he popped it in the microwave for 15 minutes.

*blink*

15 minutes? In a frickin' microwave? That tells me you have to boil the ever living sh** out of this stuff before you can eat it.

Yum.

So I looked on line and sure enough, I found a site that said something like, "Well, before we could never have Steel Cut Oats other than the weekends because it took so long to make, but NOW we have a simpler way and we can eat it every day!"

Great.

I'm all about simple, even if I'm making mush.

So tonight I start the process (there is a cook ahead process) and earlier this evening I went to Publix to purchase said oats. I bought a can of McCann's Steel Cut Oats, Irish Oats at that, and on the back it had a recipe for Irish Porridge.

Folks, I cannot think of anything much more unappetizing than the word "porridge". I don't want to eat anything that Oliver ate in that orphanage.

Ever.

And yet here I stood with a can of 'dried, just boil the crap out of it with water, porridge'.

I start it tonight and will report back tomorrow as I'm covering it in blueberries and bananas. I'll choke that stuff down if I have to.

And that brings me to the next topic. I have never in my life had to choke down so much food. I LOVE to eat, but honest to God, every meal I feel like I'm choking something down because it's good for me.

Greek yogurt with peaches? Big choke.

Porridge? Potential choke.

Sweet potatoes? Biggest damn choke effect so far.

My husband decided he was making hamburgers for the boys. I can eat the burger, but no cheese, no bun, no ketchup... why bother? So I sauteed some fish and had a sweet potato.

I'd heard all these great things about them, how good they are for you, blah blah, blahdefrickin'blah.

I hated them when I was 12, the last damn time I ate one, living in Taiwan, I remember the exact frickin' meal, and I frickin' hate them now.

I sat down and calculated, if your tastes change every 7 years, I was on a hate cycle when I was 12 and by my calculations, I'm still on a hate cycle. In three years I should like them.

I'll try them again in 3 years.

Over my dead damn body am I eating another until then unless it's sliced thinly, sprinkled with olive oil and garlic powder and baked at 350 for an hour so it tastes like a damn chip.

Good God. No. Sweet potatoes are the devil's something. I'm not sure what, but it's not good.

Trust me.

So tomorrow I eat Steel Cut Oats or porridge or something like that and hope the choke factor is low.

Stay tuned...

Hear the Voices»

Posted by Boudicca at 10:11 PM | Comments (25)

February 04, 2010

When Greatness Shines Through

My Mom sent me this YouTube video about a 911 call. A little 5 year old girl has to talk to 911 as her Dad made it as far as dialing the phone.

As my brother says, this little girl sounds a bit like my sister did when she was little.

So the first video is funny and then the 2nd video is just audio of the entire 911 call and really shows you more of what this 5 year old did... how calm she stayed. The "I'm a little shakey too" cracked me up.

If you've not seen these videos, they're worth the effort. They'll warm your heart.

Savannah is one cool kid.

Hear the Voices»

Posted by Boudicca at 10:17 PM | Comments (6)

Day 2 "On The Cusp of Hell"

First, an update on Bones as Carl had asked in comments. He is still sick as a big dog. He started antibiotics today. I've been on the phone or at the office of our pede every day this week trying to get this under control.

He IS going to his audition on Saturday... how he sounds will be a different story. He has been home all week. I have to say, it is amusing to watch him walking around in his Scooby Do boxer briefs. The boys came home from school and found him crashed on the couch in nothing but Scooby underwear and both started to grin.

It's just that funny.

The quantity of clothing he wears is directly proportionate to the amount of clothes he wears. We hate when he's really sick... he hangs around naked wrapped in a blanket. At least he's not THAT sick.

He seems clueless about auditions and isn't worried. If he's not worried... then I need to take a deep breath. We'll know more on Saturday. The steroids are upsetting his stomach but the coughing is much less today.

As for the new eating habits:

OK, it's not that bad, but it has potential.

I think until you eliminate all this stuff from your diet, you don't realize how much you eat it. My biggest problem is how tired I am. I don't have coffee in the morning, so there is that, but I'm realizing as well, that whenever I was feeling kind of tired throughout the day, I'd grab something quick to eat. A handful of chocolate chips, a handful of popcorn, one cookie.

Something.

And I'm not doing that. I'm having to be cognizant that there are grapes in the fridge, oranges on the counter, bananas in the drain rack.

Also, this type of food does not stick with you long.

Breakfast was peach greek yogurt. I'll pass on that one. It's like eating plain yogurt with pieces of peach. I had to choke it down.

Two hours later I had all natural peanut butter on whole grain bread. An hour later a handful of grapes.

For lunch I had baby spinach with sliced up pear and cashews with olive oil and red wine vinegar. Excellent. But...

At 3:40 I had a blood sugar crash, broke out in a cold sweat and panic, as I tried to figure out what I was going to do in Publix, surrounded by food that I won't eat. The guy in front of me had a Reese's and I kept thinking how quickly it would raise my blood sugar.

I got home and had a scrambled egg and a small orange and all was right with my world.

My first big ARGH! was today when I realized the one tradition the boys and I have when their Dad is out of town or at a night meeting is going to a restaurant called Mo's. We eat for under $20 and we get a big cup of Queso, with tons of chips and we eat our meal while gorging ourselves with Queso and chips.

Right.

My husband had a meeting tonight and the boys were jumping to go to Mo's and all I kept thinking was, "I can't eat anything there!"

So I suggested a sushi place down the street that we have not been to in years and they were beside themselves. So sushi it was.

Even eating sushi rolls were a problem. They're all with white rice (I got it changed to brown) and I prefer my fish cooked... and I'm not doing fried anything. So while it was an OK dinner, I definitely missed Mo's.

I'm going to frickin' miss Mo's.

A lot.

Hear the Voices»

Posted by Boudicca at 05:35 PM | Comments (4)

February 03, 2010

Feeding that Furnace

My eldest boy is in the school Jazz Band, the only freshman. They needed a bass player and although he wasn't really up for it, they took him. (He didn't know how to read bass clef and had been playing his instrument a short time.)

Compared to everyone else? He sucks. He just doesn't have the time on the instrument.

But he's trying. I get email from the band director that he really is doing well, but the fact remains, he has to practice a lot, just to feel like he's coming close to keeping up. His bass instructors tell me he is very very good considering in particular the short amount of time he's been playing. "Baptism by Fire" as one of them says with my son being in Jazz Band.

He feels incompetent. He hates it.

He had a performance today and yesterday he was freaking out. To make it worse, or better, the band director had called the previous year's bass player, a freshman in college, to come back and help them out.

So part of him was happy and the other part somewhat humiliated that he needed help. Add to that the vast quantity of homework he had... and you can guess the mood he was in.

So bad was it, I wanted to offer him a crabby patty.

Him: Can we stop for a snack?

Me: No. I've got too much to do. I have to go to Publix, you can get something there.

Him: They never have anything I want.

Me: How was Jazz.

Him: I hate it. I can't play half the music. I feel like a jerk. They're calling Nick back in to play and I don't want to go to Palm Beach to do this.

Me: Do you want to quit Jazz band?

Him, looking out the window reflectively: I don't know.

I didn't say another word. Anything I said was going to be met with resistance or anger or something, so we rode in silence.

I saw a Burger King, I loathe fast food, and I pulled in and ordered his favorite, a double cheeseburger with mayo only. He was surprised but appreciative.

I let him finish his sandwich.

Me: So. Do you want to quit Jazz band?

Him: No.

Me: OK, then. Practice and let's move on.

Attitude. It's all about the food.

Hear the Voices»

Posted by Boudicca at 09:42 PM | Comments (2)

Day 1 of Depreservation

So today was Day 1 of my 30 day no processed food lifestyle.

How did it go?

I realized it's going to take a lot more planning than I'd anticipated or I'm going to be hungry.

First, Greek Yogurt. Dr. Oz says it has a lot more good stuff in it, as opposed to regular yogurt. I've cheated and been buying the Greek yogurt with the fruit in the bottom and I am going to continue to do so. It doesn't have high fructose corn syrup in it and I'm OK with the sugar the fruit adds.

However... I am mildly lactose intolerant. The Greek yogurt may be what is killing me right now. We'll see. As I eliminate all other unnecessary fats from my diet, it'll be interesting to see if my body eventually takes to it, or continues to rebel. Today I took it with a Lactaid and that seems counterproductive. If my body doesn't really like something, I need to not eat it.

I was telling a buddy of mine how I'm struggling with this Greek yogurt thing and he said, "You're lactose intolerant, remember? That's what's doing it."

*blink* How did I forget that, but all my friends remember? So I replied, "They need to make lactose free Greek yogurt." He laughed and said, "I think you're asking for a bit much."

I'm giving it another week and then I switch to an egg with whole grain toast.

Bones was sick again today, which meant all my snacks were at work. I had gone back to bed when I got home from running errands (I'm not recovered from this weekend) and I got up when Bones did.

I woke up hungry.

I decided an egg sounded REALLY good. Except we didn't have any. Which left me foraging as I was hungry for protein.

Damn the peanut butter companies. They add sugar. I did end up at Publix today and found one peanut butter that was all natural, literally all ground up nuts with some added salt. Until I can get to a place that will grind my peanut butter for me (Whole Foods), I am going to eat this stuff I found... in a bind.

Instead I ate a piece of whole grain toast and a fistful of nuts with a big glass of water.

I went grocery shopping and bought shrimp, scallops and chicken for stirfry. I can't eat the noodle part, but I can eat the vegies and protein. I ate some of the scallops with an orange for lunch (sauteed in butter with garlic powder... the scallops not the orange), but will be eating vegetables mainly at lunch for now on.

As I walked down the aisles, I picked up ketchup wondering if I could make a cocktail sauce.

NO.

Ketchup is loaded with high fructose corn syrup and if you buy organic ketchup, they just substitute 'organic sugar' for corn syrup. So, that's out. I am now debating whether I should be considering mustard as a truly processed food as there are no additives or preservatives.

We'll see. As of now, it's a no.

So this is Day 1. It's all good. My eldest thinks I'm going to turn into a monster, going into cheese withdrawal. He said, "You're going to be miserable, Mom, and so you will make the rest of us."

Nice.

Not so.

Bonus, no sugar withdrawal headaches. I'm eating enough, so I'm not hungry.

If I don't plan better... I'm going to have hunger issues. No doubt.

Hear the Voices»

Posted by Boudicca at 02:07 PM | Comments (7)

February 02, 2010

Fashion Conversations with Dork-Mom

Ringo: Mom, do I have to wear dark socks with my tux?

Me: Yes. Tell me you weren't thinking of wearing white...

Ringo:

Me:

Ringo: Just asking.

Me: Dark socks.

Ringo: Do they have to be long?

Me:

Ringo:

Me: I'm not going to argue about socks. Ask your Dad.

Ringo: Crap.

Me: He'll give you the straight scoop.

(In reality I know he'll believe his Dad. If I say 'dark long socks', I'm going to take crap for it because I never have to wear a tux.)

Five minutes later...

Ringo: I knew it. I shouldn't have asked.

Me: He gave you long dark socks.

Ringo: Yes.

Me: Whatever. I told you.

Ringo: You who wears your purple sweatshirt, black shorts, and fuzzy blue slippers?

Me: Hey, that's my around the house attire. I'm not being asked to play Jazz at some ritzy house on Palm Beach. YOU have to look the part. *I* however can wear whatever I want.

Ringo: You're a disaster.

Me: I'm not playing on Palm Beach. I'm allowed to be.

I love my purple sweatshirt from high school. I love my blue dead muppet slippers. I don't care how much the kids laugh...

Hear the Voices»

Posted by Boudicca at 10:51 PM | Comments (4)

Eating Experiments

I feel certain that Bones has pneumonia as I type this and we'll be back to the pediatrician's tomorrow morning. First thing.

This morning at 11 I had them call me in a steroid as the croup had started. He slept all afternoon which is very not Bones. I'm nebulizing every four hours. He sounds like he's going to lose a lung.

I'm trying not to think past getting him well.

On another note, something not previously blogged, for the next month I am giving up all processed foods including, but not limited to, white flour products, sugar, and anything containing them and this will also include my giving up most cheese.

I read an article in our paper about Dr. Oz and his suggestions for living a healthy life. Some of his items I cannot abide by such as... drinking black coffee. Fair enough, no more coffee. I only drink one cup a day anyway.

I don't drink so I won't have that glass of alcohol either.

I'll be eating pretty much the same thing for breakfast and lunch every day, eating lean meats for dinner, no sauces and a lot of fresh vegies and fruit.

Every morning, as long as my stomach can take it, will be Greek yogurt OR an egg on whole grain bread. Lunch will be some type of salad with balsamic vinegar and olive oil. Snack will be almonds and raisins and I'm allowing myself three small squares of 70% dark chocolate which is evidently good for flavenoids, whatever in the hell that is.

Why am I doing this?

As one of my friends said, "This is tweaking your inner marathon running mentality isn't it? It's one more thing to see if you can get your body to do."

And... yup. He's right. There is a part of my personality being tweaked in this.

But what I really want to see is what kind of, if any, body changes will occur because of this. Will my rosacea clear up or go away? Will my migraines go away? Will most of my digestive issues go away or get worse? Will the 3:00 draggies be eliminated? Will I sleep better? Hurt less?

It's a big body experiment that I'm starting with 30 days and may extend to 90.

And you all are the recipients... as in, I'll be blogging it every day. I'll be blogging the highs and lows and all that comes in between.

What I do not expect is weight loss, although I am weighing myself before just to see what happens in 30 days.

No processed sugar or foods. No high fat meats. No triscuits and cheese.

I'll be eating like a caveman, except for my Greek yogurt.

We shall see. Stay tuned. Tomorrow is Day 1. March 3 is the tentative last day.

Hear the Voices»

Posted by Boudicca at 09:42 PM | Comments (6)

February 01, 2010

It Shouldn't Be So Hard

Y'all have been reading me long enough to know that I'm not one of these helicopter Moms who can't let their kids do their thing, be their person, hovering, pushing, living vicariously through their offspring.

Good Lord if this thing with Bones isn't about to send me around the damn bend.

Y'all have read about him enough to know that he's not a round peg child. What bugs the crap out of me is there are a TON of kids that are not round pegs and our society seems hell bent on sanding down all their edges, turning them into round pegs and making them fit, "DAMMIT!", into that hole.

At all costs.

Every child has to sit. Every child has to learn the same way. Every child has to...

And it pisses me off. Until I had a child like Bones, I never realized what a disservice we do to our children who think a little differently.

And let me tell you something folks, it's the kids that think a little differently that we need to think a little differently as adults... for they will be the ones to see things the rest of us round pegs don't frickin' see.

Trust me.

And as bat crap crazy as he makes me, it is seeing the world through his eyes that I realize, my world was black, white and gray before him... and he adds color.

Not only did I call the school first thing, get Bones an appointment with our pediatrician, and get a letter stating he needs to postpone as I was told to do... instead of FAXing it there, I frickin' DROVE THERE and hand delivered it, met with someone, and rescheduled for 2:00 on Saturday, the absolute last audition time possible.

If he doesn't audition then, it's not happening.

And although I was told that the voice teachers can tell if a child can sing, Bones sick is not the same as Bones well, and his voice teacher has told me repeatedly, that although Bones can sing, it is the whole package that will sell him. She said he sparkles and has something inside him that people want to be around.

Well, some people. Don't ask his 4th grade teacher. That wasn't the case. May he rot.

So he's on a cough suppressant and we have myriad things we are doing to get him ready for Saturday.

I'm watching this thinking, "NO. This is not my life. What am I becoming?"

My girlfriend Leigh (commenting in the previous post) and I were discussing this at Audition sign ups. She and I have very similar personalities, both mothers of three boys. We both find ourselves doing things as women/mothers, that never in a million years would we have believed 20 years ago if you'd been a soothsayer and led us down this path.

Boy Moms are just a different breed and if we're not born that way, we're cast into it via fire.

We were laughing in the auditorium about how we were trying to remain so calm for our kids, but inside we're screaming to make this work. This school... we're looking at with so much hope.

It's making me a freakin' basket case. I found myself in the pouring rain today, driving to the school, leaving Bones in the car so he'd not make them sick (dock points for bringing sickness into a school), and as I walked in I realized... holy crap. I was in my run around, dash to the pediatrician clothes.

I was in black shorts, a purple sweatshirt from HIGH SCHOOL (my sister is loving that one... I'm 44), and my eldest boy's checkered Vans. I was the complete multi-generational fashion disaster.

Bonus for me, I was wearing make up and and my hair was clipped up instead of looking like I'd rolled out from under a couch.

Bones had his theater audition two weeks ago. It went OK. I'm sure he passed it, but I don't think he'd have gotten in with theater. He readily admitted he did not click with the judges.

That's the deal with theater... it is so subjective even at this age, whereas for voice it is more of a 'can he keep the pitch, repeat a note, sing a song?'.

And as I put in the comments to Leigh, it was an absolute sea of children from every walk of life.

And there were little girls stretching for dance, all of their hair in little buns if not cut short, and some of them so limber you could not help but stare as their bodies twisted in ways that my body NEVER twisted and that I feel certain they were not designed to bend to.

There were kids with drum sets, guitars and every other instrument of size imaginable. There were amazing projects for the kids doing Communication. I have no idea what these structures were, some of them, but it had Bones and I talking.

Then of course there was the vast animation and chatter that can of course be attributed to kids in general, but I feel certain belonged to a lot of the theater kids for when the theater kids left, the room got a bit... quieter.

I sat in the back of the room with my logic book working puzzles trying not to overthink the entire thing when a Mom I knew back when Bones was two found me and we spoke for the next hour about our bleak options if our kids don't get in.

I damn near have a stroke every time I think of his not getting in. And I know that's how 75% of the other parents feel as well.

And I find myself once again on a planet I am unfamiliar with as I talk to my girlfriend about his voice, her husband being a voice specialist. I'm a boy Mom. Bones likes to play airsoft guns with his brothers, he loves playing football in the rain because then his brothers drop the ball and he has a chance, he plays shoot 'em up video games, and on any given day is nearly hanging from my proverbial rafters.

And I'm worried about how to take care of his voice for an audition? I'm actually on the verge of a meltdown over this? Really? ME?

It just needs to be over so we can move on because we all know it's not really the audition throwing me over the edge but the fact if he doesn't get in... my options are so... bleak and damaging to him.

And I promise I will never look back on any of this and laugh. None of this will ever be funny.

Ever.

Bones waiting.jpg
Bones waiting for me today, not looking too sick, but sounding like crap.

OK. Maybe the picture is funny.

A little.

Hear the Voices»

Posted by Boudicca at 01:36 PM | Comments (7)

January 31, 2010

Sick

The fair is over and I'm decompressing.

The big awful news on my horizon is Bones has his audition for Voice to get into the local Middle School of the Arts and he is now sick as a dog, having caught a horrible cold. I have no idea what is going to happen to his voice by Tuesday his audition date.

I am absolutely physically sick about it. I am beside myself. So much has hinged on this and now...

I'm going to call the school to see if we can get his audition put off, but it says specifically that they need 3 days notice and tomorrow will be ONE. It also says I need written documentation from his Doctor. I'd like to just take him down there personally for them to see.

The kid can't sing. His voice is all cracky right now.

For over a year he has been taking private voice lessons to get into this school. For over a year, he has been singing and training. Over a year... trying to do the right thing to get him in the right school.

I'm so sick about it, I want to vomit. He so belongs in that school... and he so does not belong where he currently goes. If he doesn't get in, I am going to have to consider home schooling. That is what a potentially bad situation this could be. And I work, and I can't quit my job and...

I'm horrified.

Hear the Voices»

Posted by Boudicca at 11:19 PM | Comments (7)