April 15, 2005

Apples and Oranges TO Me... Go Figure.

I’ve actually created a new category called “Stories with Morrigan”. That would be my sister. It is time to post this story. It is long, but funny and it pertains to something that happened today. Click for the extended entry. She’s so funny. I cannot believe we are related.

I believe it was 1987. I was living at home, my senior year in college. That makes my sister a sophomore in high school. We were sitting around the dinner table when, if I recall, and trust me, if I am wrong in this story, it will appear in the comments, The Great Omnipotent One starts speaking French. He had many years of it and having the mind like a steel trap, he remembered quite a bit… above and beyond our family joke of ‘manges la fenetre’, which means, “eat the window”. My Mom, plays along with the French speaking.

I have no clue what is going on, my sister is looking around, and I don’t remember my brother being there, as really, the focus was my parents and my sister. This goes on for quite awhile when someone, Mom or TGOO, asks Morrigan if she understands French. By this time, she was in her 2nd year of high school French. She gives some answer and it is brought to our attention that my Mom had received a phone call from my sister’s French teacher that she had volunteered my family to take in two French boys from a French choir, while they were in Pensacola on their tour.

To this day, Morrigan swears that she was sitting in class, the French teacher says something about needing host families for these boys, Morrigan thinks ‘Oooo! Teenage boys from France!” and says jokingly, “Oh! I’ll take two!”

Now… there is NO DOUBT in my mind that although my sister swears she was not serious, that the teacher thought, “Smart Ass. I’ll show her.” And she did. She put my sister down for two French boys.

Except… they weren’t teenagers. They were 8 year olds.

Flash forward 5 months and my Mom gets a call saying that said boys will be arriving the following week. She has been blind sided. She has no idea, but what is she to say?

Wow. I have to say, I cannot recall one mess I’ve gotten myself into that comes even CLOSE to that one. Morrigan just has a knack.

The boys arrive; they speak limited English. I spoke limited French, but it is easier to communicate with a French speaking adult than a child, as an adult will make an attempt to make things easier in the conversation. And I promise you, that MY French, as well of that of TGOO’s was far better than Morrigan’s.

It seems the boys were singing with their choir at the Christ Episcopal Church, a GORGEOUS church in downtown Pensacola. The church I got married in, in fact. We were not a church going family. So my Mom, Morrigan, and I, get in our Sunday best and take these two boys down to their performance, knowing we must now sit through it.

Lovely voices they did have. Beautiful, really. I don’t remember what all they sang, but I do remember one. They sang in English, “The Battle of Jericho.” The three of us sat, side by side, listening to their angelic voices, when they start to sing this song… when my heathen sister leans over and says to me, “Why are they singing about a Bottle of Cherry Coke?”

On top of all the other stunts she had pulled, the French boys, her thinking we are getting teenagers, our receiving 8 year olds, the debacle of her trying to speak to them, and now her thinking Jericho is Cherry Coke, I could not quit laughing. I have a problem with my laughter, in particular when it comes to my sister. My Mom likens it to shaking up a can of coke and opening it up… spraying all over uncontrollably… unable to stop. That is me at times, I can laugh so hard I cannot breathe; my stomach is in knots, and tears stream down my face. And… there is no stopping it once it starts. And start it did. I am shaking, convulsing, as we cannot laugh out loud, and Morrigan has started to laugh.

Now… my Mom… is pissed. The pew is shaking and she cannot quiet us down. Did I say I was 21? Yup. And she was 15. Two grown girls acting like complete jerks in church, although it was really my sister’s fault.

This whole thing has become SUCH a family joke, that at this summer’s Ceilidh, Morrigan, for her talent, stood and told the story… in French. She found a translator program on the internet, wrote the story and then recited it to us. Her accent, not being the best, as she was talking about a ‘person’, I thought the story was about fish, until I realized it was about her two French boys.

Flash forward to today. Our school is up and running, but there is still no cafeteria, so we pack lunch every day. I get a handout from my eldest telling me that we can order lunch in advance from a local sandwich shop and they will deliver, if we sign this form. Today I get a copy of Son#2’s form… filled out! He NEVER asked me! He just signed up to buy grapes or a cookie every day for two weeks.

I open his backpack and find this as I’m talking to my sister and I’m saying, “That twerp! I cannot believe he signed up and never told me. I had to find out from his teacher. Did he EVER intend to tell me?”

And… Morrigan’s reply was, “Oh, its like me and those French boys…”

I’m yelling back, “No! I do not see the correlation between my son not telling me he is ordering cookies and grapes for lunch and YOUR NOT telling MOM that you ordered two French boys! It is NOT the same.”


Posted by Boudicca at April 15, 2005 08:57 PM

You'd think the school would have the intelligence to clear it by the people who actually, you know, own the home the exchange students would be staying at instead of taking a 15 year old at her word....

Posted by: Graumagus at April 15, 2005 09:03 PM


Posted by: Sissy at April 15, 2005 09:05 PM

Ahhh, so much I missed being an only child. No wonder, I never have as much to write about as you do!

Too funny!

Posted by: TNT at April 15, 2005 11:19 PM

My parents had it so easy. I was the perfect child growing up. I never did anything wrong. :)

Posted by: Contagion at April 16, 2005 09:35 AM

You're family is soooo funny. I love these stories.

Posted by: vw bug at April 16, 2005 09:52 AM

This is only marginally on topic, but is “eat the window” a euphemism for something? :-)

Posted by: Harvey at April 16, 2005 12:03 PM

Harvey... "manges la fenetre"... it is a family joke for when you have played your own private little joke on someone or have done something nobody realizes and you are laughing to yourself.

But... we say it in French. If you are telling someone about it in our family, you will say, "I did a manges la fenetre" and everyone knows where the story is going...

Posted by: Bou at April 16, 2005 04:03 PM