April 28, 2005

Does This Make Me A BAD Wife?

Army Wife Toddler Mom is talking about her first day at home with the small one now that Army Husband has gone back to work. (He took extended leave after he got back from 18 months in the sandbox.) Little people will keep you hopping!

Harvey picked up on it and posted HERE about how to get your man to talk about their day at work.

Damn. I'm a bitch. I don't care if he tells me about his day or not. How awful is that? He more than likely will as he's an extrovert, and I'll listen, but for the most part, I just assume no news means everything is status quo.

I think that throws me into the unsupporitve wife realm. Really.

He has no clue what I do at my paying job. It has always been thus. He knows what military program I work on. He knows where my building is located. He knows my work days. He knows how much I make. He knows my co-workers.... I think. That's it. If you were to ask him what I did, he would say, "Oh, she's an engineer on such and such a program." If you were to press deeper, he would probably look at your blankly.

When we got married, my attitude was, "That is YOUR job, this is MY job". I don't talk about my work at home, he would be bored. And his job... bores me. If I wanted to do what he did for a living, I would have majored in it. He works with the general public, which would make me frickin' NUTS!

So, if something bad happens and he wants to share, I'm an ear. I'll listen. If something good happens and he wants to celebrate, I'll be the cheerleader.

But... if I hear nothing, I assume it is status quo and will be told when it is otherwise. I don't ask.

It works for us.

Posted by Boudicca at April 28, 2005 09:31 AM

You are not a bad wife nor a bitch. When I was in relationships, the only time I cared about what happend at my boyfriends job is when he was extremely passionate about it. Hell, it was the Marine Corps, so it didn't happen too often. It would be too much work to explain it to me...too many little things to explain for me to get the point.

I rather him leave that life at work. When he comes home, I want him for me, not his work....unless he needs me for that.

Posted by: Sissy at April 28, 2005 10:07 AM

Definitely not a bad wife. Otherwise I would be as well. And we both can't be bad wives. GRIN. I don't ask. It does annoy me on occassion when something is bothering him at work and I can tell.. .but he won't say a thing. If it annoys me enough, I ask. Otherwise, I just don't care.

Posted by: vw bug at April 28, 2005 10:47 AM

What?!?!? A woman that knows the fundamentals of communicating with men?!?!? Is the Appocalypse approaching? "Head for the hills, Nellie, the damn dam just broke!!!" (I've always wanted to say "damn dam" and just hadn't gotten around to it—busy, you know—so I just read that aloud.)

I love her, but when Wonder Woman starts talking job-related stuff, all I hear is "La-la-la, la-la-la-la... " until some /point/, something I need to deal with comes up.


An attentive look and an "Ah" or some such interjected every now and then is all she really wants. Virtual connection to her workaday world... with plenty of "La-la-la, la-la-la-la... " white noise to protect my synapses.

Posted by: David at April 28, 2005 10:48 AM


Hubby thinks my job description is "plays on computers all day." The only times he needs to know anything more is if a virus hits campus or I've manned the HelpDesk all day - and then he only needs to know that I have a reason for feeling especially misanthropic and he should Just Leave Me Alone until I get over it.

I, on the other hand, could probably do his job for him, if I actually paid attention when he goes off on one of his regular rants.

"Wwah-wwah-wwahn-wwah-wwah." pause "Uh-huh? And then what?" "Wwah-wwah-wwahn-wwah-wwah." "Too bad." "Wwah-wwah-wwahn-wwah-wwah." "Oh, that's awful. And then what?" "Wwah-wwah-wwahn-wwah-wwah." "You poor dear. Go get a beer and play on your computer for a while." "You're a wonderful wife, you know that?" "If you say so."

Posted by: Jenna at April 28, 2005 11:47 AM

"You poor dear. Go get a beer and play on your computer for a while."

Jenna, you know,, don't you, that you have just given thousands of husbands reason to give their wives a link to this comment, eh?


Yay! Boost Bou's traffic!

And you KNOW I just clecked through to your site from here for more wise words.

Posted by: David at April 28, 2005 03:48 PM

You know, if I hadn't been raised by an English teacher, "clecked" wouldn't even bother me... but it does. And what's with the double commas? I can't even plead typo on the "cleck"! Maybe I should just plead it as my own neologism, you think?

Gee... More coffee, please.

Posted by: David at April 28, 2005 03:51 PM

Damn it woman, you just *had* to post something that would make a misanthrope like me comment...

I *wish* that when I had been married I had married a woman who was the same kind of self-described "bitch" as you...

'nuff said.

Posted by: Jack at April 28, 2005 04:05 PM

oooo, I need to add Jenna to my blogroll.

Jack, trust me, my friend, I am a real pain in the ass to be married to! :)

Posted by: Bou at April 28, 2005 09:50 PM