April 28, 2005

Hmm, Could This Be Deemed Too Personal?

Those of you without children are going to be repulsed by this post, so you may just want to move along. Seriously. It’s icky. Although… after Ogre’s comment on what he does to telemarketer’s in THIS post, he may think this is no sweat. *grin*

A friend of mine and I were e-mailing. She is a mother. Most of my friends are now in this cycle of their lives. Small children. Gotta love ‘em when they aren’t making you nuts.

Anyway, something came up the other day when she was with her Mom. There was a discussion about what they called bathroom functions when growing up. Now her husband went into laughing conniptions when her mother told him that growing up, they called the peeing, going tee tee, and pooping was called ‘the Big Job’. Man, just typing that cracks me up.

In this house… the worst I can do is tell you I still use the phrase, ‘Do you have to go potty’. I am seriously trying to break that with my 8 and 10 year old for two reasons. First, why do I care if they have to use the restroom? They are old enough to know if they’re doing some sort of pee pee dance, that they need to find one. They don’t need me asking them and reminding them to empty their bladders. Second, they just flat out don’t need Mama calling it ‘potty’ anymore. Trust me, I’m never going to graduate to saying to them, “Yo, you gotta take a dump?” but something along the lines of “Do you need to use the restroom” should suffice.

When they were toddlers and we were potty training, it was always, “Do you have to pee?” or “Do you have to poop?” There were never any special names. Which… actually… looking at some recent incidents with my 5 year old, was not such a wise idea. Special names would have alleviated the embarrassment of being in a restaurant with Bones and hearing him declare in his shouting voice, for the child cannot speak in normal tones, “Mom! I have to poop!” We are working on table etiquette and what can and cannot be said at the table. Still, I think that having heard him say something like, “Mom! I have to do the BIG job!” would have saved me my reddened face and the obvious fact everyone in the restaurant knew what needed to be done. Much to their dismay.

So… if you don’t mind, and want to be so bold, in the comments, just tell us what y’all have called it. And if you don’t want to admit to anything, you can always just say, “Well, my ‘friend’ calls it…” and we’ll know what you mean. *wink*

Posted by Boudicca at April 28, 2005 09:25 PM

We're the same as you. It's "pee" and "poop" and "Do you need to go potty?". One slight difference though - a bit of motivation for potty training has yet to die it's rightful death. To get them excited about the prospect of using the toilet we'd feign excitement when they did a Big Job (hehe - that is funny to write) and we'd exclaim "Poopies are awesome!"

They won't let "Poopies are awesome!" go. Any time they do the doo you'll hear the player at the top of his voice from his perch upon the porcelain throne.

"Mommy! Daddy! Poopies are awesome!"

Posted by: Jim at April 28, 2005 09:30 PM

LOL! I can see where VW may run into this trouble. She sings a song for her little guy. I'm wondering how long it will take that song to go away...

Posted by: Bou at April 28, 2005 09:35 PM

Ummm....IKiki"dog's name", do you have to go potty?"

Geez, I she doesn't even have any kids....

As a kid, it was #1 and #2 for us. That was about as creative as we got!

Posted by: Sissy at April 28, 2005 10:03 PM

Ok, I should preview first...that last comment should have some strikethroughs and totally got screwed up and now it's not even funny!

It should read...

Ummm....I, I mean, "my friend" still says "I have to go potty" and "Kiki, (I mean) "dog's name", do you have to go potty?"

Geez, I she doesn't even have any kids....

As a kid, it was #1 and #2 for us. That was about as creative as we got!

Posted by: Sissy at April 28, 2005 10:05 PM

Yes, my dog also knows the words "outside", "potty", and "pee". She'll get up and run to the door if you ask her "Do you want to go..."

When I was a kid, the word for #1 was "cheesh" (I'm guessing it's an armenian word, since they were trying to teach me armenian about that time) and #2 was poo poo. When I was older it was just "going to the bathroom"

I never actually said "pee" until I was an adult.

Posted by: caltechgirl at April 28, 2005 10:14 PM

It could be worse. My 6-year old seems to be able to fart at will. At home, it's kinda cute...we threaten each other with farting on each other if she doesn't do what I want her to (and vice versa).

Out of the house, not so much. Emily will fart if tickled, fart if she laughs too heartily, fart when it hits 12 noon (just kidding).

Last night, it was during reading time...god, it stunk!

Makes her obsession with having company in the potty, and her aversion to flushing (she and her sister don't like the sound, especially in public restrooms) seem tame.

Posted by: Eric Sohn at April 28, 2005 10:38 PM

When I was a kid, my parents taught us to say Tee Tee and BM (I assume for Bowel Movement). I think I was a teenager before I quit using those and moved on to more colorful and politically incorrect terms. With our kids we used Tee Tee and Poop. I make my dog do his business by using the command, "Hurry up!" It seems to work. Boy, I never thought I'd be talking about this kind of stuff, but... it's liberating! Think I'll go tinkle, now.

Posted by: Dash at April 28, 2005 11:01 PM

Ok, is this with, or without an accent? (GRIN)

Posted by: That 1 Guy at April 28, 2005 11:53 PM

It doesn't matter what ya call it, How would it be any different if the kid announced, at the top of his lungs, MOM, I HAFTA DO NUMBER TWO in a public place?
With all the drama associated with gettin' old, one of the things that makes it worth it is knowing that we're old enough to have had the most important parenting tool of all, the "give 'em such a whack" tool. It worked wonders in teaching me vocal modulation and it worked just as well with the kids, though I thought I might need brass knuckles on that one boy...
For the record, pee an' poop.

Posted by: Peter at April 29, 2005 12:10 AM

I always (and still do) use tinkle.

And having a dog isn't much different then having a kid, in the potty sense.

I have never used the phrase "do you have to go potty" and "go potty, go potty" more in my life than I have in the past 2 weeks.

Just yesterday as my hubby was getting up and walking to the bathroom I asked if he had to go potty.

Potty training the dog is getting to me.

Posted by: Machelle at April 29, 2005 07:35 AM

Yes Bou I sing the P P song. But I do have a 'public' version that he finds acceptable. I also have a wicked sense of humor. Ready for this when we went from calling it a BM to poopoo, Daddy said he would do a poopoo dance for Tater. Tee Hee. And he has to do it everytime Tater does a BM on the toilet. I am just waiting for the day we are in public and it happens. Why? Because the first time Tater sees dad (and this can be hours later) after doing a BM, at the TOP of his lungs he yells... Daddy do the PooPoo Dance! (over and over again until dad does it). Why it went from BM to poopoo? I think it might have been an influence from pre-school. Or dad?

Posted by: vw bug at April 29, 2005 07:36 AM

We call it pee and poop with Clone. He's potty training and seems to work with him. I've never used cutsey names for it. My natural instinct when talking to clone is to ask if he has to take a leak or shite. I catch my tongue most of the time.

Posted by: Contagion at April 29, 2005 08:13 AM

we too are potty training. The Boy, informs everyone of the fact that he has to "Pee in Toilet" or "Poop in toilet" Which is especially funny when we are walking through a restaurant and he announces to every table "I go poop in toilet!" He refuses to say potty, I however, cannot seem to stop saying potty. Must be a mom thing. When we were kids, my grandma though "fart" was a vulgar word so we had to say "blew the whistle." My son, also announces "I farted" after having done such. But, here is the kicker, he is just 2 and he can make himself burp and counts 1-2-3 while burping. Boy do I have my hands full!

Posted by: Oddybobo at April 29, 2005 08:40 AM

While Tara was being potty trained, she had a delightful habit of proclaiming, "Oh no! I'm doing a great big smelly poo!". Great if you were waiting for a table :-)

Posted by: Sally at April 29, 2005 10:52 AM

OB, your kid is talented. I was 12 before I learned how to burp on command. And believe me, I tried. Of course, I was also 12 before I could snap my fingers.... Maybe I'm just slow.....

Posted by: caltechgirl at April 29, 2005 12:16 PM

***Those of you without children are going to be repulsed by this post, so you may just want to move along.***

I should've taken your advice. Yuck.

Posted by: Toluca Nole at April 29, 2005 02:53 PM

OK, I now know that if I hear the words, "Poopies are AWESOME!", I need to be looking around for Jim's kids!

If I hear, 'Daddy do the poo poo dance!" I will be looking for VW's kids.

Caltechgirl, I am talented and learned how to burp early. I taught my 2nd son, by accident, when he was 3. I regret that.

TN- I put that warning SPECIFICALLY FOR YOU! GEEZ. Try to do your kid bro a favor... completely unappreciated. :)

Posted by: Bou at April 29, 2005 04:00 PM

I have no idea what we used to call them.

But I know when I was visiting my sister down there in Florida in Feb, her youngest came up to me and said;
"Uncle Jon - I went poo in the potty."
He was real excited.
Me - not so much. (spoken in a Tammi Voice.)

Posted by: _Jon at April 29, 2005 05:23 PM

Well, for pee, it's "I need to go put out a fire."

for poop: "I gotta go make a sacrifice to the porcelin god."

Posted by: Aris_Ravencroft at April 29, 2005 06:53 PM