May 12, 2005

The Plunger is Our Friend

My husband is traveling again. I'm never really myself when he's not around. The boys are a handful.

Since we built this home, nearly 10 years ago, we've always had problems with our septic. Our commodes clog up very easily. My husband thinks its the low volume commodes the builder put in. I think it's something much worse than that... something to do with how the house was built, but I try not to think of it much.

Anyway, the plunger is our friend. It is used about once a month, sometimes once a week. I'm surprised it isn't used more in the kid's bathroom.

To me, it is just flat out disgusting. When I'm finished with the plunger, I take it back into the laundry room and spray lysol all over it. However, disinfected or not, I know what it's been used for and I'm grossed out.

Today, I was on the computer sifting through the entries for the Carnival of the Recipes (which doesn't get posted until after midnight... even if I am finished!), when in bounces Bones... yelling,

"Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, can I do this? Pleeeease? Let me! I NEEEVER get to do this! Please? Come on, Mom. Puuullease?!!!"

I look over at him and he is bouncing around my bedroom like some garden sprite, wearing only a football jersey and underwear, skinny boney legs dancing on my carpet, holding... the plunger.

Now fortunately, said plunger is kept in a bag, so he wasn't flinging the plunger all over. But still. I'm not happy that it's in my bedroom. Being danced with. Being treated as a prize.

I promptly told him NO and took the plunger from his hands and made a beeline for the boy's restroom.

I hate plunging. I'm so over it, it's not even funny. I get the commode unclogged and garden sprite boy is still hippety skippety all around me, saying, "Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, do you think you got all the poop off that plunger? Huh, Mom, Huh?"

I'm rolling my eyes and he's following me, "Mom, I wanna watch what you do next. Mom, you need to clean it. Mom, I think it's still dirty. Mom, what're you going to use? Mom..."

And on... and on.. it went, as I got gunned down with 10 thousand questions... all spurred by a stupid plunger and a commode plugged with poop.

As I'm spraying down the plunger with Lysol he's still hovering.

He got this from his father's side of the family. He wears me out.

Posted by Boudicca at May 12, 2005 11:18 PM

At least you can get the poop out that way. My wife and oldest daughter tend to clog the downstairs toilet - and it's brand-new plumbing, so I know it's them.

My weapon of choice? A six-foot snake from Home Depot. A little pushing and shoving and twisting - and the poop cries Uncle.

Of course, it's a coiled metal affair, so you have to work some of the poop out of the coils (smacking it against the porcelain repeatedly works), but it works when plunging just doesn't.

You also don't have the splashing factor with a snake.

Try it, makes good cocktail party banter (not!)

Posted by: Eric Sohn at May 12, 2005 11:42 PM

Watch next for him trying to clog the toilet on purpose to get to use the oh so fun power plunger! ;-)

Posted by: Sissy at May 12, 2005 11:48 PM

It is indeed the low-flow toilets. Check this post out if you feel like making things a little better:,-Overclocked!.html

Posted by: Ogre at May 13, 2005 06:55 AM

Ahh! I can just picture him skipping around holding the plunger!

Posted by: Oddybobo at May 13, 2005 08:50 AM

I've got two of those. Whee!

Luckily, we have an old house with the original toilets, so ours don't get clogged all that often. The plunger is most often used to clear the shower drain.

The 17-month-old thinks it's a toy. The 5, nearly 6, year-old thinks it's a toy. They fight over it.

I would say this is all their father's fault, but I was the one silly enough to help him reproduce.

Posted by: Jenna at May 13, 2005 10:37 AM

Eric- I'm passing on the 6 foot snake. That sounds even more gross! Right now, it's contained to one little plunger with a diameter of, what, 6 inches? I don't need 6 feet of anything that's been in that water! Blech!

Ogre, my friend... why do you know this? And yes, I am going to read it in depth. I scanned it once. My fear is that it won't be the low volume commodes.

Sissy... it would not surprise me if he had in fact plugged it on purpose before. We went through an entire roll of toilet paper one day.

Jenna... I blame my husband a lot because of the stories I hear from his childhood!

Posted by: Boudicca at May 13, 2005 03:13 PM

Hmmm... Bones may have a future in plumbing. It's good money, ya know.

Tell you what. For his birthday, get a brand new, spanking clean toilet bowl, cap off the outlets, fill it with nice, fresh Lemon Koolaid and tootsie rolls and see what happens.

I bet he makes a beeline for the plunger.

(Should I post that recipe for the next Carnival of the Recipes?)

Posted by: David at May 13, 2005 11:25 PM