May 23, 2005

Disney Recap

It’s hotter than three hells in Orlando in May.

There is no wind in Orlando.

Disney is the master of moving massive amounts of people in an orderly fashion.

Disney’s food is awful. I think I may have poisoned myself. I think it’s having to feed those massive amounts of people.

You know its bad when you’d rather eat a hotdog made of mystery meat than touch their salad.

Skip the Stitch ride. As my 2nd son said, “Mom, that smell of that nasty chili dog burp is still in my nose.” Yeah. That was 2 hours after the fact… and I thought it was just me.

My kids are permanently scarred by ‘Its Tough To Be a Bug’. My 5 year old was screaming, my 8 year old was crying… and my 10 year old climbed behind me and the bench, trying to hide/become one with me, to get away from the film. It was pathetic.

They are no longer scarred by Pirates of the Caribbean. Thankfully. It was embarrassing to tell people I had the only children who couldn’t go on that ride because they were terrified.

My 5 year old truly has no fear other than It's Tough To be a Bug. He wanted to do the Haunted House. We didn’t do it as my elder ones refused.

We are a roller coaster family. Period. The entire family.

My eldest is a sweetie. When he got his wish, being in the front for Splash Mountain, I was not happy, given I was his ‘partner’. I grabbed a rain poncho and sat on it, covering my shorts… since they were white. He was confused and I explained that white cotton becomes translucent. Oh… I know… I gave too much information. Next thing you know, I’m explaining white T-shirt contests and on and on. He thought the whole thing was very amusing. I informed him that while one day he may enjoy watching such contests his mother was never one to participate in something like that and I wasn’t about to participate in a wet white shorts contest. With that, he proceeded to try to cover my lap even more… relinquishing the part of the rain poncho he was sitting on to keep his butt dry. We got very wet, but I am happy to say that I was able to shield not only my lap, but the two ‘squishy’ parts in my t-shirt and only my belly got wet.

The average woman in America has no shame. I was amazed at how much skin they showed… and I’m no prude. I think they must not own mirrors. Blech.

There is no shade at Animal Kingdom. Why oh why did they design it that way? Ack!

The new Winnie the Pooh ride is the old Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. When you start the ride and enter Owl’s tree house, if you look to the left, you’ll see a picture on Owl’s wall of Mr. Toad handing the deed to Owl.

Buzz Lightyear is always a fun ride.

I allowed my kids each one toy on the visit. My practical 2nd son, bought a camera. (It’s the most manual point and shoot I’ve ever seen.) My eldest and youngest sons bought toy rifles. Most of Sunday morning, while I was packing, they spent having old fashion rifle duels. “OK, walk 10 paces and then turn and shoot!” “You didn’t get me! You missed!” “Yes I did!!” “No! It was a flesh wound!”

Water is expensive. I don’t drink Florida tap water if I don’t have to. We have some of the worst water in the country. I definitely don’t drink it if I’m in Palm Beach County. (I have a filtration system on my house.) Any bottled water has to be better than Florida water… Water is expensive.

The Jungle Cruise at Magic Kingdom was funnier than I remember. The last line of the girl cracked me up. "Remember, please take your small children with you as you depart the boat. Any child left becomes property of Disney World after 48 hours. At that time, we teach them to sing in 37 different languages and put them to work in It's a Small World..."

Posted by Boudicca at May 23, 2005 09:48 PM

Again, I'm dying to go to Disney World again. But me going with my family is probably NOT going to happen. You see, Sis#2 (7) is deathly scared of anything in a costume...Santa, school mascots, characters.

So, that excuse is out (along with dad paying for it!)

Posted by: Sissy at May 23, 2005 10:41 PM

My kids are scared of any show that gets really dark. And the special effects in "It's Tough to Be a Bug" and "Muppet Vision 4D" totally freak them.

One of the best touches in Disney is what they do for birthday kids. First, you get a button that says "It's my Birthday!" - and every Cast Member goes out of their way to talk to you. Second, if you go to Town Hall at Magic Kingdom, Goofy will give you a birthday phone call. The kids love that.

We own a share at Boardwalk Villas. This is the first year in a while we couldn't make it, but we'll be back.

Posted by: Eric Sohn at May 23, 2005 10:49 PM

"Squishy Parts?" You learn new terms for 'em every day, I guess. :)

Posted by: Ogre at May 24, 2005 06:48 AM

I love the Pirates ride. Cool and refreshing. I go on it at least 4x everytime I'm there.

But I have to say - if I never go to Disney World - or Bush Gardens for that matter - again in this lifetime I'm alright with that!!

**how much do I hate that you were only 5 miles from where I used to live....for an entire weekend!!! Man I miss ya!

Posted by: Tammi at May 24, 2005 07:27 AM

I feel sorry for adults with kids,it seems like their only safe vacation spot is Disney World. That's the only place I ever hear them talk about going, except maybe to Grandma's house......
I haven't been to Disney in 15 years, can't stand the crowds and the heat. Bou's right, Orlando is the hottest place in an already steamy state. That may be why the women she mentions wear so few clothes, they're trying to avoid heat stroke.

Posted by: George at May 24, 2005 08:22 AM

I can't wait for Clone to get older so we can take him to Disney. We were there a couple of years ago and had a blast.

Pirates of the Carribean has been a favorite of mine since I was a little kid. I'm kind of cheesed off they made it more PC... I missed the Pirates chasing the girls yelling, "Get the red head!!!"

Posted by: Contagion at May 24, 2005 08:26 AM

At what age is it safe to go to Disney. I have friends that do it with toddlers, and I think they are KRAZY. 5-6-7?

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at May 24, 2005 08:35 AM

I looooooove Disney.

Hubby and I went a few years ago for a week and had a great time. Hubbies fav was the GM test track ride.

Mine will always be the Tiki Room. Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room!

Trying to talk him into going in November. We went in early June last time and the heat was wonderful. Nothing like getting up in the morning and knowing all you need is a t-shirt and shorts with no thoughts of having to bring a sweater.

Posted by: Machelle at May 24, 2005 09:36 AM

You and your white clothes! Did you learn nothing from "SeaWorld" last year? *GRIN*

How's this for crazy? My friend is taking her daughters, 6,4 and 2 there next week. And her newborn son. Because her husband likes to go every year. Some vacation she'll have, huh?

Posted by: Sally at May 24, 2005 03:09 PM

George- for those of us down here, its a quick getaway and you know you'll have a good time with the kids. We're starting to expand out past Disney and theme parks this year.

Contagion- During the auction of the townswomen, there is a red head in a red dress standing to the side of a heavy set matronly woman being auctioned off. The pirates are yelling, "We want the red head!!!"

AWTM- I've done it with toddlers. We started going with my eldest was 3. It's a quick drive for us. We started going more frequently when my eldest was 5. I've done Animal Kingdom with a 6 month old, 2 1/2 and 4 1/2 year old by myself. My husband had a convention and I couldn't stand being couped up anymore. So I did it. It wasn't bad until my back went out on me. That kinda sucked. I'd say for travel purposes age 4 or 5. They're potty trained, you get a double sroller and go. Piece of cake.

Machelle- They've redone the tiki room since we were kids. Have you seen it with the bird from Alladin?

Sally- I know! What is my deal? I just think "White= cool". Then I end up some place with water and end up with "White=clear". Sheesh.

Posted by: Boudicca at May 24, 2005 04:44 PM

"The average woman in America has no shame. I was amazed at how much skin they showed… and I’m no prude. I think they must not own mirrors. Blech."


Have you seen my mention of the Great Divide of the 21st Century? It's between the Empiricists and the Fantasists. Some people just can NOT see how ugly or stupid they look in the clothes they (don't quite) wear. Either that, or they imagine it just doesn't matter what they wear in public.

But then, the 85%-90% of drivers I see who should be permanently grounded are also likely Fantasists, thinking they really are competent to operate a motor vehicle.

And then... but no. I am about to drift back into full bore curmudgeonry...

Going to my room, now.


Posted by: David at May 24, 2005 09:09 PM

Yep, seen the re-do on the Tiki room. Orginal is better, but the new one isn't too bad.

At least they still have the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki room song!

Posted by: Machelle at May 25, 2005 08:59 AM