June 02, 2005

Fruit and Nuts

I wonder sometimes what to blog on. I think, “My day has been so quiet” and then… something incredibly ridiculous occurs as if a prompt from the Gods of Blogging.

We were stopped at the video store, my spouse and two of my boys had gone inside. I was sitting in the car with my 2nd son when he informs me he has to go to the bathroom. I ask him to wait.

Ten minutes later, we are on our way home when from the backseat I hear, “I sure hope we’re going to get home soon. I think my nuts are going to explode.”


Me: Your nuts are going to explode? Holy cow! That’s bad. Why in the world would that happen?

Son#2: Because I have to pee so badly. You know, your nuts are where all your pee is held.

My husband and I exchange glances.

Husband: No. Your nuts don’t hold your pee. There is a little ‘sack’ inside your body, in the lower end of your torso called a bladder.

Son#2: Are you sure?

Me: Yes.

Son#2: OK, well if they don’t hold pee… then what DO they do?

Quiet fills the car.

Husband: They just are. They just hang there.

Son#2 (who by the way is 8): That’s not right.

Husband: Yes it is. You have elbows, knees, knuckles, fingers… they just are.

Son#2: NO DAD! They all have a REASON!!! What is the REASON for NUTS?!

Great. I asked him to wait until we got home. He seems to have forgotten. There just is no reason for my 5 year old to have to hear this. I had THE talk with the other at 9. So I guess it’s just about time.

I don’t think Son#2 will be as nonchalant about it as his brother was. I think he’s going to be some kind of grossed out drama King. Blech.

Posted by Boudicca at June 2, 2005 09:16 PM

"I don’t think Son#2 will be as nonchalant about it as his brother was. I think he’s going to be some kind of grossed out drama King. Blech."

Strangely, from a distance of some years' time, that almost sounds like fun... :-)

But on second thought, nah. Wouldn't wanna be a bug on the wall.


Posted by: David at June 2, 2005 10:02 PM

How do you guys keep a straight face?

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at June 2, 2005 10:35 PM

Excellent! I'm thinking the husband should have this talk. Not sure if #2 will take it as well as #1 coming from you. I am however proud of him for not taking the elbow, knee, knuckles as being the same. He's called you on the lie and now you have to tell the truth. hahahahahaha...this cracks me up.

Tell the husband that I will be ragging him for this.

Posted by: Morrigan at June 2, 2005 10:42 PM

Dammit! What are they for?! Still waiting!

Posted by: That 1 Guy at June 3, 2005 12:54 AM

You could alway shave son #1 tell son #2... the blog fodder is endless there. :)

Posted by: Contagion at June 3, 2005 08:19 AM

.. sorry... Contagion's comment made me do the Marty Feldman look... I had to read it twice....

.. I think I am in the same boat as T1G...

Posted by: Eric at June 3, 2005 09:18 AM

I had to read Contagion's comment a couple of times. Scared me at first!!

Your trips in the van crack me up!

Posted by: Sissy at June 3, 2005 10:40 AM

I always thought they were there to give women easy targets (take that any way you like, Harvey).

Posted by: Ogre at June 3, 2005 11:12 AM

Just tell him that god put those there to teach boys not to piss off girls who can kick hard...

Posted by: Graumagus at June 3, 2005 02:46 PM

Do tell how it goes!

Also, tell that Blogging God to send some fodder my way. I can't keep a post up about baby poop much longer.

Oh, I have an 8-year old nephew who refers to his testicles as his "ball thingamajig."

Posted by: Marie at June 3, 2005 10:13 PM

How do people know when I'm going to read comments? :-)

Posted by: Harvey at June 4, 2005 10:18 AM