June 17, 2005

Lucky to be Alive

I had hellrobics today.

As I walked in, my girlfriend, the instructor, said, “Oh! I have some new steps I’m teaching today.”

I replied, “Are YOU CRAZY? I’m probably going to break my damn neck as it is!”

She said in her happy voice, “Oh don’t say that! You’ll do fine.”

Yeah. Right.

Here I am, stepping up, stepping to the side, stepping down, watching her, watching my feet, when suddenly, the woman to the right of me, and I do believe it is the woman from last time who said, “Left foot. We’re on the left foot”, fell OFF her step and crashed into the wall.

That’s right. There she sat, in a heap. On the floor. From the corner of my eye, it was as if a poltergeist had just picked her up and hurled her to the wall and ground. Ok, so maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit, but it was frightening.

My friend stopped and raced over to her, the woman was laughing and said, “No biggy. I just missed the step.”

Yeah. Just what I needed to hear. I must’ve looked shaken as I could see my friend looking at me to see if I was going to throw up my hands and declare, “Truce! I give up to the step! I am out of here!”

I did not.

So here I am, stepping up, stepping to the side, stepping down, watching her and watching my feet as she has now introduced this new really complicated step… when suddenly… my friend, the instructor, falls OFF her step and lands on a heap on the ground. She’s never fallen off her step before in her life. I just stood there. Mouth agape. In horror.

She got up and the class continued and I made a conscious decision, anytime she got to something I thought would injure me, twist a knee, or break my neck, I just stood at the back of step, stepping up, stepping down, over and over until they got to a part I knew I could do.

She told me later she was so worried about me, she was watching me and missed her step. I told her not to worry anymore… I had made peace with the step and I wasn’t going to get hurt.

Tomorrow I try her high impact aerobics class. I anticipate not seeing any woman hurled into the walls by aerobic poltergeists.

Scary stuff that step aerobics. It made Karate look tame.

Posted by Boudicca at June 17, 2005 08:44 PM

If the instructor falls, isn't everyone else supposed to follow her lead?

Posted by: Toluca Nole at June 17, 2005 08:50 PM

Just make sure you don't fall, I would then have an unfair advantage. I would have to send you candy to help you feel better. ;-)

Posted by: vw bug at June 17, 2005 09:15 PM

Yeah. exactly why I stopped taking step class 6 years ago. Forget it.

Posted by: caltechgirl at June 17, 2005 09:27 PM

First of all the first lady, fell off because she was a "show off", and you "willed it" I know you did. After she started giving you instructions, I know what you said under your breath.

As far as the instructor who has never fallen, I am surprised she did not think to ban you from the class. For bringing in bad mojo.

I would have left the class with a broken leg.

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at June 18, 2005 12:46 AM

Step aerobics? hmmm... nah I'll stick with sword fighting... much safer.

Posted by: Contagion at June 18, 2005 08:30 AM

I think Bou's actually a witch who cast a "falling off" spell :-)

Posted by: Harvey at June 18, 2005 10:06 AM

I tried step aerobics a couple times. Not for me.

Don't you have kick-boxing or something at your club? I think that would be much more up your alley.

And any core classes are excellent!

Posted by: TNT at June 19, 2005 10:07 AM