July 20, 2005

It appears to be about the clothes

My sons are very affectionate. Very affectionate. My 10 year old will still take my hand in public and not blink an eye. They crawl in my lap, even in public. More often than not, we'll be in a restaurant and after we're finished eating, one of them will ask to sit in my lap for hugs while we wait for the check.

My eldest still has this habit, where he will walk into my personal space and lean his head on me. That worked great when it was my stomach, but he's grown! For now, I am not saying anything. He thinks nothing of laying his head on my chest... I am his Mom. I am for hugging and leaning upon.

I am affectionate with them in turn, always rubbing their backs or shoulders, stroking their hair.

So I wasn't surprised at first when we were standing in Publix waiting for fish when I felt this little hand rubbing my back. It was my eldest.

The hand moved up and down my back. Then up and down my arm. Then I had a face on my arm. Then a cheek. He was rubbing his face all over my arm! It was like being with a damn puppy!

Finally I looked down at him to say, "What is going on?" when I was stopped by a grin as he looked back up at me and kept stroking my arm... and it occurred to me...

I work in a freezer box at work. It is so frickin' cold I have to wear a sweater. For Christmas a couple years ago, my husband bought me a black cashmere sweater. I'm the only person in Florida that wears a sweater in July.

So here we are standing in Publix and when my son does his habitual rubbing of my back, he realizes I'm wearing a soft sweater at which point he had this overwhelming urge to touch it with his face!

It cracked me up! I'll have to remember to wear this sweater when he's 14 and he wants nothing to do with me. I might be guaranteed a hug that way!

Posted by Boudicca at July 20, 2005 11:09 PM | TrackBack

You want a hug when they are a teen? Say "maybe" to something they want. It's just enough to get the hugs going to lean you toward "yes".

Want the genuine hugs? Keep being you. There will come a time when they learn how valuable unconditional love is and they will want to appreciate every moment of it. Meanwhile, realize what you've done to make your boys comfortable with affection. That's a good thing!

Posted by: Sissy at July 20, 2005 11:24 PM

Hmmm. Maybe I need a cashmere sweater. ;-)

Posted by: vw bug at July 21, 2005 07:54 AM

Maybe I should buy my wife a cashmere sweater... Then I can use it as a pretext for rubbing her? ;)

Posted by: Contagion at July 21, 2005 08:08 AM

Your kids will always be affectionate with you, even when they are teens, because you are great, but also because you have given them affection.

My dad is an over-the-road trucker who we only saw on weekends usually. So, he would get home late Friday night. When my sister and I were teens, we would still jump in bed with him late on Friday nights so we could tell him all about our week. We also always hugged or kissed our parents goodnight *except for a brief year or two, the really rough teen years* To this day we are very affectionate.

My son has learned that and if my husband, who isn't from an affectionate family, leaves for work, my son runs over to him and says "I need kiss daddy" which tickles my husband so much that he often pretends to leave just to get those wonderful kisses!

Posted by: Oddybobo at July 21, 2005 09:21 AM

*note to self*

must have husband buy me cashmere sweater before fall. I only have a scarf....

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at July 21, 2005 05:05 PM

Warm fuzzies all over! I love that your kids are so affectionate!

Posted by: Jody Halsted at July 21, 2005 05:50 PM