July 21, 2005

For Two Hours I had Five Boys

I went to VW's today to babysit her babies. I brought along my 3 boys.

After last December, I was just unsure what to expect. See... her youngest, Tot, in December? He hated me. H-A-T-E-D me. Hated. Did I say hated? Yes, hated. As a matter of fact, it was so bad, that I joked often that he and I had a theme song. There's this song by an alternative band called Puddle of Mudd, called "She hates me" and there is this one lyric, "She fucking hates me". No joke, that's one of the lines and for some reason I've always thought it was funny. So... I have said that Tot and I have a theme song and I sing that lyric, except I change it to, "He fucking hates me". I know. Not nice. But the kid really did hate me.

For weeks afterwards we'd go to breakfast and he'd see me and grip VW like a vise. A whole, "Holy Crap, Mom! It's HER! SAVE ME!"

I did nothing. He just had separation anxiety and so for an HOUR I held this little boy while he screamed his bloody fool head off, at the top of his lungs, catching his head as he would lunge backwards, trying to keep him safe as he flung himself to the floor.

My kids were with me then too, so when I told them yesterday we were going to VW's house to watch her kids, all three sets of eyes bugged out until one of them spoke and said, "Is Tot going to freak?" My reply was along the lines of a "Good God, let us hope not."

But I was prepared. Mentally. And physically. I even wore my running shoes so I knew if I had to, I could make break neck speed in any scenario.

Her kids were awesome. VW and her husband went for dinner and the kids didn't bat an eye.

I will say though, I have come to realize, I had forgotten what it was like to have small children. For instance, I put Tot in his high chair and VW had said he will feed himself sometimes. So I took that as "he will feed himself."


I kept checking on him and he wasn't doing anything. Just sitting there. Then I realized, "Wait! He's a baby. She said 'sometimes'! I have to feed him!"

Then... I couldn't find his sippy cup of water. Looking all over for it, I found it much later under the table. That's the first place Moms with toddlers look. Moms with older kids think, "I've lost my mind. Where did I put that thing?"

So I improvised and attempted to have him drink out of a regular bottle of water. It wasn't successful, but he did enjoy it. His neck and chin are very clean.

I also forgot how babies are notorious for picking up their food, then rubbing their hair. There must be some chemical reaction that occurs that their hands touch food and their heads start to itch. I forgot to tell VW when I left that his hair was glued with Chicken Pot Pie. But... I am sure she figured that out not long after I left.

Oh... and I forgot that when you have a newly potty trained 3 year old that you have to ask them if they have to pee... when they're having fun... or they won't take the time to pee in the potty. They'll just pee all over themselves.

Yes. It happened. However, I did remember to tell her as I was leaving that there were pee clothes on the tub and that he needed a bath.

I took pictures with her camera, which she downloaded to me. Here are two of them.

My 2nd son is really into trains, so four of the five boys were building train track. This first picture of them is the start of the track set up. You will notice that nobody is looking at me since they didn't know I was taking the picture.

This 2nd picture cracks me up because AS SOON AS the flash went off for the first picture, Tater and Tot started to pose for the 2nd. Hams. The both of them. I had to laugh.

So this 2nd picture is of the two boys hamming it up and my two boys ignoring me.


Posted by Boudicca at July 21, 2005 10:36 PM | TrackBack

Hey, my blogmom is hip...Puddle of Mudd? I'm impressed.

So, did ya get a workout? :-)

Posted by: Sissy at July 21, 2005 10:56 PM

On the radio, I listen to almost only alternative. Some top 40, but mostly alternative.

I never had to use my running shoes!

Posted by: Bou at July 21, 2005 10:59 PM

you are the ----!! Seriously. 5 of them? Did you have the wine before or after?

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at July 22, 2005 12:45 AM

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You are Top of the Tots! (this is a wiggle song for those without children). Thank you!

Posted by: vw bug at July 22, 2005 06:48 AM

I have to object to you dressing your boy in a Chicago Bears jersey. There are somethings that are just plain wrong, and that is one of them.

Posted by: Contagion at July 22, 2005 08:21 AM

sounds like you had a lot of fun too! Geotrax! My son and husband will play with those for hours.

Posted by: Oddybobo at July 22, 2005 09:21 AM

Contagion: Too funny. My hubby said the same thing and then added "Which one is the fan?".

Posted by: VW Bug at July 22, 2005 09:38 AM

AWTM- I don't drink. At all. And you're asking me about it reminds me of a funny story... I'll have to post it tonight.

Oddybobo- Yeah, she has Geotrax. They didn't have those when my kids were little. We had to splurge for Brio or Thomas track. Or rather, wait until it went on sale and buy them.

The rest of you... It's a Bears Jersey? Hunh. I didn't know. Nor did he. He just has this thing about wearing football jerseys, so when we go to the store, he picks one where he likes the colors. My issue is they have to be on sale. Evidently that trip, The Bears were on sale and he liked their colors.

Posted by: Bou at July 22, 2005 10:01 AM



Check sanity at door.

Nope. It's not there. Better check it somewhere else.


Had fun, though, I see.

Posted by: David at July 22, 2005 02:07 PM

LOL! That was funny. Especially the feeding and peeing bits. It's amazing how quickly you forget these things about little children.

Posted by: Sally at July 22, 2005 03:15 PM

Very funny... Sounds like I need to learn about Geotrax. I pick up cups from the floor several times a day. Sounds like Tot and my boy would have great fun together! Very cute pics...

Posted by: Marie at July 22, 2005 08:24 PM

I'm very impressed! So, if I can convince my husband to come down there you'll watch Brenna? She sometimes feeds herself, would rather use a real cup than a sippy cup and loves books. Especially the ones with real pages- not that cardboard stuff. :)

Posted by: Jody Halsted at July 23, 2005 08:56 AM

Is Tot really hamming it up... or is he checking to make sure that you aren't about to get him?

And for what it's worth, Contagion has no taste when it comes to jerseys. The lad has incredible tastes already! If/when I get to meet you guys, I'll have to make sure I wear mine!

Posted by: That 1 Guy at July 25, 2005 12:53 PM

I have 3 boys (11,9 and 5 1/2) and over the weekend we went to swim at my sisters. My nephew is 2 and her friends boy is also 2..my sis and her friend went to the store to pick up some things and I was left with all the boys.. now, mine are pretty much self-sufficient with the occassional get-the-hell-away-from-your-brother supervision. The 2 little ones, well, that is a different beast of its own. They each had there own lil quad yet needed to ride on the others while the other was still seated grasping on for dear-life(I swear I saw white nuckles and all!) My nephew (who I have so-endeared the MONSTER)just runs from place to place and thing to thing like a mad-man-on-crack. The other boy (did I mention my boys names all start with A and the 2 other boys were BOTH NAMED JOHNNY?!?!?!) was a tad of a cry baby(which his mother conviently disclosed while they were in the car already half way down the street) immediatly started to cry the minute the car was out of sight.. yeah, it was THAT MUCH fun!! And I forgot that the little ones need to be like-changed and stuff!!

Posted by: Kathy at August 3, 2005 10:24 AM