July 22, 2005

Tips for Tanning in Florida

I was sent this by a friend of mine, via e-mail.

* Always sit at least 100 yards from sun.
* UV rays can damage the corneas; don't forget to rub a good sunscreen
into your eyes.
* Risk of sunburn is especially high while swimming; strap on a thick
lead suit before entering water.
* Instead of using our sun, sunbathe using safer, more distant star
like Beta-Sirius.
* When tanning, always alternate who's on top.
* Avoid harmful UV rays; live underground until your descendants
evolve into eyeless, albino mole people.
* For those raised in a red-sun environment, yellow sun may cause superpowers; use only for good.
* Tanning is safest when done in short spurts; disrobe for just a
couple of seconds every few blocks while walking through town.
* Allow thick, protective melanoma to grow all over skin.

Posted by Boudicca at July 22, 2005 09:42 PM | TrackBack

Yuck. That last one makes my hair stand up.

Posted by: Toluca Nole at July 22, 2005 10:12 PM

"May cause superpowers; use only for good."

ROFL! Loved that one.

Posted by: Sally at July 23, 2005 07:12 AM

I need to try this one "When tanning, always alternate who's on top".

Posted by: vw bug at July 23, 2005 07:43 AM

That was recently posted over at The Onion. They're a great place for similar humor.

Posted by: Ted at July 23, 2005 12:24 PM

LOL! :-D

Posted by: Harvey at July 24, 2005 07:25 PM