July 27, 2005

Stupid Nents Will Get You Every Time

I have always had issues with stumbling over my tongue. Calling my poor youngest son, Boner, was not the worst… just the one with the highest probability to come back and bite me. At a bad time, I might add.

In my paying profession, inspections are called out for our product. Wear, tear, burns, scratches, nicks, and dents are but to name a few. About 8 years ago, a group of us had a meeting where we sat down to review the maintenance procedures on our product, with the customer. One enormous conference room, reams and reams of paper, it was tedious work, but it had to be done.

There was question on one of the procedures and for some reason, I had the answer. And why I knew that answer completely escapes me to this day… as it is not in everyone’s best interest for me to open my mouth at times.

So here I was in this room full of people, mostly men, about to explain about nicks and dents when I said, “The dicks and nents…” As soon as I said it, I shut up. The room fell silent, more of a shocked silent, and then everyone started to laugh. I was horrified, because, I knew… that since I made this mistake once, it would be made again and EVERY SINGLE time I EVER touched another procedure talking about nicks and dents, I’d think of that.

And of course, my co-workers didn’t let me down. Oh, no, no, no, my friends, for months someone would utter under their breath, “Those damn nents. They’ll get you every time.”

Even worse, I know now that now whenever I use the phrase openly, ‘nicks and dents’ I have to go through a little ‘think before you speak’… it goes like this and takes less than a second, “Wait, dicks and nicks are words. Dent is a word. Nent is not. It’s Nicks and dents.” If I DO NOT DO THIS, I always say, ‘dicks and nents’… which is what I caught myself doing today with my tech lead. Luckily he didn’t catch it. Trust me, if he had caught it he would have ragged on me all day… as would have the rest of the guys. All day Friday I’d have been hearing about ‘those damn nents’ from every guy in the room.

Posted by Boudicca at July 27, 2005 07:01 PM | TrackBack

And I thought it was just me with the nipples / nibbles bit. ;-) Nice to know someone else has the same problem.

Posted by: VW Bug at July 27, 2005 08:00 PM

My sister asked me to go get her a Chocolate Brownie Batter Blizzard. I ordered Chocolate Brownie Bladder Blizzard (and typed it this way originally just now)

Not as bad as dick and nents....but I suffer from the same problem!

Posted by: Sissy at July 27, 2005 08:24 PM

Hahaha! Now I know you and Morrigan are definetly from the same gene pool :)

Posted by: Napster at July 27, 2005 08:59 PM

Oh great, just thanks. Thanks.A.Lot.

Yes, we too have call outs on our inspection standards for nicks and dents.

Christ, I can now say with 100% accuracy that at some point I will say dicks and nents.

Posted by: Machelle at July 28, 2005 08:45 AM