August 02, 2005

Loafers and Gloves

There was a picture of Lyle Lovett today in our paper as he was in concert here last night. I remember when he married Julia Roberts and the press and such were carrying on about how she could marry him… they deemed him ugly if I recall… beneath her in looks.

Now… I never really understood that mentality. Why is that a good looking person on the outside… is expected to be with another good looking person? I know plenty of wonderful ugly people and more than plenty of jerk-faced beautiful people. I don’t know what happened to their marriage, nor do I care, I don’t keep up with that stuff, but I will say… she evidently saw something in him that she loved. I like seeing people who obviously see below the surface.

I made a list before I got married, on what I was looking for in a mate. I didn’t have to get married, but if I was going to, there were some things I felt were important to me… items I knew I needed to keep an eye out for. There was nothing superficial like, “Must own a boat”. They were all around what I wanted long term like, “Wanted kids.” “Gets along with MY family” made the list too since I’m pretty close to my crazy family. “I get along with HIS family” made my list as well. I don’t look to bring psychos into my life. They seem to wander in on their own well enough, thank.you.very.much.

I didn’t have anything on my list about looks. I only had that I had to be physically attracted to him.

Could I be physically attracted to someone like Lyle Lovett, who by the way I do not think is ugly? (As a matter of fact, I think he has a rather dignified gentlemanly way about him.) Absolutely. NO QUESTION. If he was smart, if he made me laugh, if he genuinely cared about my best interest… if he had a kind heart, but had no qualms about standing up for what he felt was right… he’d have me at hello.

Luckily… I don’t have to worry about all that anymore. I hated dating. I like that soft shoe loafer feel… I like fitting together like hand and glove. I didn’t like that suffocating feeling of being in love… the nervous butterflies one gets in the anticipation. I didn’t like worrying I was going to say the wrong thing (that’s a given) or being so overcome with HIM that I don’t know what to say (also another given). I hated all that. I spent the first month of every relationship wishing that stuff away, thinking ‘if we can just get through these four weeks, I’m home free’. I distinctly remember hating all of that.

Some people thrive on it… I did not. It is good that I am where I am.

Posted by Boudicca at August 2, 2005 07:35 PM | TrackBack
Comments

***if he had a kind heart, but had no qualms about standing up for what he felt was right… he’d have me at hello.***


"You had me at Street Master."

Posted by: Toluca Nole at August 2, 2005 07:56 PM

Woman...I have decided that that kind of man just no longer exists... YOU got the last one...

Posted by: Princess Cat at August 3, 2005 02:11 AM