Boudicca's Voice

I'm Not Feeling Like Superwoman

Some days, you just have to wonder if the universe has it in for you. The cliché ‘I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed’ rings true for today.

A nasty thunderstorm came through today, rendering my house without power. That’s not a problem… except… power garage doors are GREAT until you don’t have power. Then they’re a real pain in the neck.

I had to get my younger boys from school, my eldest was home sick with strept throat and my big huge double garage door was stuck in the down position. First, y’all know I’m 5’2”. Now I’ve been strength training to combat the inevitable osteoporosis for almost 3 years. I’m leg pressing over 250lbs and although I have had to watch what kind of chest training I do (I had to give up bench pressing for one) due to a problem in my left shoulder, I still do enough upper body that I am strong for my size.

Lifting with my legs, I got the garage door lifted to waist height and then pushed it up over my head, giving it a light toss to get it to stick up. Down it came. I repeated. Same result. Now I figure part of my problem really is my height. I just can’t get the damn door up high enough.

So I get a ladder.

Once again, lifting to chest height, I now step onto the ladder, only up to the 2nd step, but my leverage is all wrong and no matter how I push up, that damn door is not going to budge nor is it going to stay.

I’ve now done this about 10 times. Oh yes, and its pouring rain outside, so I’m trying to stay dry too. One last heave and in what must have been divine intervention, the frickin’ door stays.

But I look… and there’s NO WAY my van will clear it with my luggage racks.

And that’s when I got the great idea that my husband’s SUV will clear it. I could tell. It sits lower than my van. His sports car is fixed and he had taken the kids to school in his car, so that left me the truck. It was meant to be, I was certain.

And I’m sure it was meant to be… until I started backing the truck up and hear a ‘CRUNCH’ as the garage door falls at the back end of the truck. Sherlock Holmes, sitting in my backseat, pipes up, “Umm, Mom! The garage door fell on Dad’s truck!”

What would we do without observant kids? I mean… really.

So I am able to pull forward, hearing the garage door come crashing down. Literally. Upon inspection, there isn’t a huge amount of damage… but there is damage.

And I realize, I am so screwed. How am I supposed to get my two kids? I am now trapped without transportation. I decide to call my husband at work. That’s right. I’m now going to call the man whose truck I just crushed with what feels to me like a 10 ton garage door.

He couldn’t go get the kids (no surprise there), but told me there was a 4X4 next to the water heater and I should prop the door up.

Now folks, I’m a high energy girl, but it’s been a bad day and I’d already lifted that damn door 10-12 times. I was frickin beat and the thought of struggling with that door… again… did nothing for my mood. So I thanked him for the suggestion and hung up.

Walking over to the 4X4, I realize it is an EIGHT FOOT LONG 4X4. Wait. Did I mention I was 5’2? And tired? And do you have any idea how much an 8 foot 4X4 weighs… and the weight distribution of said long piece of work makes it damn hard to manage, especially since I am going to have to hold up what feels to me to be a 10 ton garage door, and maneuver this long ass piece of wood where there is NO room for wiggle due to my mini-van being in the way!

I don’t know how I managed, but I did. I called my husband on the way down the driveway and said, “I got it. I’m out.” His reply was, “Did you close the garage door before you left?”

He received a very short answer along the lines of “No. I do not have a death wish. YOU can deal with it when YOU get home.”

Posted by Boudicca at September 27, 2005 08:06 PM | TrackBack