October 06, 2005

B is For Bones and Bubbles

Sometimes I have to wonder what I'm thinking and then I realize, I'm just not. Thinking.

Bones has been begging me to play on his slip 'n slide. So yesterday I got it out. The big thing is to put dishwashing liquid upon it, making it even more slippery.

Son#2 decided that instead of playing on the slip 'n slide, he'd be in charge of the soap.

I handed him a full bottle, Economy Size, and told him to be careful.

What does that mean, 'be careful'? Nothing concrete. In his hands that meant, 'don't pour it in your brother's eyes' or 'don't hit your brother over the head with the bottle' or 'don't let your brother mow you down when he's running through the yard for the ultimate slip and then slide.' Myriad things, yet nothing at all.

What I should have said was, "Don't use more than 'this' much" showing him what 'this' meant.

But I didn't. So I am partially to blame. He is too... for just not using his brain.

He used HALF A BOTTLE of Dawn soap on that slip 'n slide. HALF A BOTTLE!

I was starting to prepare dinner when I heard a banging on the back porch slider and it was Son#2 yelling for me to come quick, as I could hear wailing in the background. I thought for sure Bones had slid into a fire ant pile I hadn't seen when doing my fire ant walk. (It's very much like a FOD walk, except I'm methodically scouring the area for fire ant mounds instead of FOD.)

I go outside and there is Bones head to toe in either blue soap or bubble, eyes shut. He was SCREAMING like a banshee.

I grabbed my t-shirt and started wiping off his face, but evidently, half a bottle of Dawn soap on one 12 foot slip 'n slide, can put a serious hurt upon one's eyes. I ended up carrying him into the bathroom and putting him in the shower to rinse him off and clear his eyes. I couldn't believe the quantity of bubbles his little body generated when in the shower. A virtual bubble machine was he.

Evidently he was not blinded for life or there wouldd have been no blogging last night, but a lesson has been learned by all. Their lesson is my mantra to them, "less is more" which also coincides with my 'bigger is not better' since that bigger/better thing is something those with y'chromosomes are BORN WITH and it is NOT learned. My lesson was 'extropolate'. I should have told him what I meant by 'be careful'.

We've been getting some rain from some icky weather and of course when I awoke this morning to rain, and realized I hadn't put up the slip 'n slide in all the commotion last night... I just HAD TO run outside to see what a half bottle of Dawn creates in bubbles, but alas, it had been raining all night and there were none.

I was so disappointed.

Posted by Boudicca at October 6, 2005 09:35 PM | TrackBack

I can very much picture this after seeing them use that soap in the summer. I thought that was a lot.

Posted by: Toluca Nole at October 6, 2005 09:45 PM

Sorry, but I'm just sitting here grinning...

Shoulda used Crisco.


Posted by: That 1 Guy at October 6, 2005 10:11 PM

I was thinking that these boys are getting in practise for a college wesson oil party but then I thought, nooo, Bou will raise them better than that. Generic oil is cheaper. LOL And better teach them how much soap goes in the washing machine also. I learned the hard way and had the cleanest basement floor in base houing one time.

Posted by: GUYK at October 6, 2005 10:18 PM

oh the eyes......that will always get them, everytime. However that is a lot of Dish soap to turn a child blue.

BTW........we went to Petsmart yesturday to watch dogs get haircuts, stopped by to see the hamsters. I laughed my bucket off.....you were right about the undercarriage, I have NO idea why I hadn't noticed before..... anyway I had a good laugh. I sang AC/DC the whole way home.....

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at October 6, 2005 10:21 PM

My husband sang AC/DC for 10 minutes after I read him that story too.....

Posted by: caltechgirl at October 7, 2005 01:17 AM

Those are my mantra's too

Less is more


Bigger is not better

My hubby is all about the bigger is better thing. You should see his lawn mower vs the size of our yard.

Posted by: Machelle at October 7, 2005 08:34 AM

Just a thought... might try using the Johson's baby shampoo next time. Just as slippery in my experience, but not at all harsh on the eyes. :)

Posted by: Brian at October 7, 2005 11:09 AM

Opps.. Johnson's. Rotten typos.

Posted by: Brian at October 7, 2005 11:10 AM

Stop...I am laughing so hard, I am crying. I have so been there...well, not exactly there, but you know what I mean.

Mine showed up with a shotgun yesterday because three weeks ago I was musing that it might be a good idea for us all to learn to hunt....

Posted by: Kelly at October 7, 2005 11:27 AM

Baby shampoo sounds sooooo much better. I was thinking all day about the crisco oil... would I use 409 or Greased Lightning to get it off the kids? That's all that takes it off my cabinets. I can't imagine getting it off my kids.

Posted by: VW Bug at October 7, 2005 02:28 PM

Hysterical... Did you think of joining them for a ride on the slide? Might have been just the thing to jarr that cocoa puff loose... A little dish soap gargle, followed by a slippy ride?

Posted by: Marie at October 7, 2005 03:55 PM

The crisco was a joke, although if you did use it, you could get if off with Dawn dishsoap.

Irony. :)

Posted by: That 1 Guy at October 7, 2005 04:24 PM