October 12, 2005

Life with Boys Continued

I was over at Blog Grandson Spurs at Pull My Finger and he had THIS post from an e-mail he received. I received a similar one a couple years ago from an Aunt. It’s an e-mail of cause and effect from having boys.

For instance: 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
House 4 inches deep.

When I received this e-mail, I could not resist. I had to reply and send my own list. Yes, all this happened to me. All of it. My own personal experience list of what you notice when you have children. This is from 3 years ago, so you'll see that one or two of them matches the Mom's from Austin.

1) A baggy full of green peas takes less than two weeks to turn to compost and emit an awful odor in your car. (Son#1 asked for steamed green peas for a snack one day and took them with him to the car… leaving them there… unbeknownst to me.)

2) A slightly leaking sippy cup full of chocolate milk takes less time to omit a similar odor.

3) Marshmallows in the seat well of your van (where the removable seats meet the floor of the van), mixed with water, will ferment and like milk, take less time then peas to emit a rotting odor.

4) Crayons do not like the dryer.

5) Boil water with detergent, apply spray and wash, then boil clothes to get out crayon stains.

6) The color of the crayon appears to be permanent on certain parts of the dryer drum.

7) Legos pass through the digestive system. It is scary.

8) Cellulose is not digestible. Poop with pieces of magazine inside is nasty. Being able to identify it is part of a Southern Living magazine boggles the mind.

9) Rocks make lots of noise in dryers. Extent of dryer drum damage appears to be relative to the size of the rock.

10) Rainbow ice cream from TCBY will produce funky colored poop.

11) Ants burned with the magnifying glass are deemed fried, so they must be edible.

12) Soap will make you puke.

13) If you call their help line checking on toxicity of a product, Johnson & Johnson will send you coupons after your child has eaten one of their non-edible products.

14) The people at Poison Control are very nice.

15) So are the people at 9-1-1 (unrelated incidents).

16) Hardboiled eggs do not fit down a bathroom drain.

17) Baby Powder on wood floors is slick.

18) Baby Powder makes a mess when mixed with water in a tennis shoe.

19) Vacuums do not like packing popcorn.

Posted by Boudicca at October 12, 2005 09:03 PM | TrackBack
Comments

ROTFLMAO! I should add one or two more... like seeing 1/2 an uneaten grape in poop is also Nasty. Leaving crayons out of their box in your van in Florida creates crayon puddles. The only book that will get torn is a library book.

Posted by: vw bug at October 12, 2005 09:33 PM

Vaccums do not like the inside gel stuff from diapers either. It turns to cement after it dries and kills the vacuum completely!

I love your list! Boys have a "universal mind" hehe.

Posted by: talulazephyr at October 12, 2005 10:13 PM

I am intimately familiar with the principles of the following:

2, 4, 7, 8, 9, 12, 16, 17 & 19.

Sigh! It must be Karmic payback for my childhood antics.

Posted by: michele at October 12, 2005 10:33 PM

Is Silly Putty still around?

My parents learned it's not good for a kid to fall asleep with a blob of it. The kid (me) ends up with a really ugly haircut. That's the only way to remove it from his hair, it won't wash out.

Posted by: George at October 12, 2005 10:40 PM

Play-doh(!) will pass through the human digestive tract with out any change to the color or consistancy of it.

Posted by: Contagion at October 13, 2005 08:26 AM

A boy can jump from the window of a car, land on the cement and not cry, but if you take his french fry, he'll cry for three hours.

Dirt tastes better when it comes from the litter box, ewwww!!!!!

Posted by: oddybobo at October 13, 2005 08:30 AM

Did you know it takes 1/2 a roll of toilet paper for a little boy to 'wipe' the little drop of pee off his 'winky', and that 1/2 roll of toilet paper just won't flush down no matter how many times he tries?

Posted by: Jen H at October 13, 2005 11:05 AM

I feel like I'm looking into a crystal ball here.. I'm laughing hysterically now. Bet I won't when I get there...

At our house we've noticed that carrot poop is almost very, um, distinctive. Like why'd we even bother feeding it to you, when it's just going to come out looking the same at the other end...

Off to TCBY! ;-)

Posted by: Marie at October 13, 2005 01:56 PM

Oh, excellent! Stuff to look forward to! I did, however, have the neon-hued poo experience.

Posted by: Jody Halsted at October 13, 2005 02:33 PM

A french fry up the nose can be removed with a pair of tweezers.

Play dough up the nose will dissolve.

However, you have to get the doctor to get the rock out of the ear (2 months later).

You can make bombs out of MRE heat packs.

Maybe I just need to do my own post! Boys never a dull moment.

Posted by: Sticks at October 13, 2005 05:23 PM

I wopuld add a thing or two that should not be left in a vehicle but this being a family blog I will leave it to your imagination-just think of being eightteen years old and on a HOT date in your mothers car

Posted by: GUYK at October 13, 2005 07:27 PM

I'm gonna go get some rainbow ice cream from TCBY

Posted by: Harvey at October 15, 2005 01:42 PM