April 09, 2006

No bra, no shoes, no make-up

Shopping today, well… hmm. I am a low maintenance girl who is finding this skin disorder is converting me to one that is mildly high maintenance and its kind of pissing me off.

I went to one of my favorite stores today, Crabtree and Evelyn, just to see if they might have a sunscreen I can keep in my purse. They did. I’m happy. No question... I saw it was SPF 30, smelled it and bought it.

The Gap was having a sale on long sleeved t-shirts. I bought four… didn’t even bother to try them on. I’m not into shopping.

Then onward I went to buy this make up I’d heard about. that is good for people with rosacea. Bare Essentials is the name. It comes with a starter kit that has two different shades of powder foundation, 3 brushes, and some other bronzer or something. Who knows. But what freaked me out was… it comes with a DVD on HOW TO APPLY IT.

Are you frickin’ kidding me? I need an instructional video on how to wear my stinkin’ make up? Give me a break. I’m FORTY YEARS OLD. I’ve been wearing make up since I was 16. And I need a damn DVD?

I said to the guy at the store (yes it was a salesMAN), “Wait. You’re kidding. I need to watch something to tell me how to apply it and it comes with THREE brushes?” He just nodded his head and said he recommended it.

My current make up came with no video and a sponge.

Did I say I was a low maintenance gal? Oh yes…I…am. And I’m embarking on what sounds like to me the highest maintenance make up ever invented.

Just shoot me. Now.

Meanwhile some little chicky girl is standing next to me telling me how she SWEARS by this make up. Suddenly girls are chiming in from all over about how this stuff rocks. I felt like I was living in a damn Chick Flick.

She said, “Look. See? I love it. I’m wearing it now…” The salesMAN is glowing saying, “See, this make up has its own walking testimonials…”

What did I see? I saw a girl with flawless skin. I saw a young woman in her twenties that hasn’t started to wrinkle from: 1) age, 2) too much sun, 3) lack of sleep due to babies, 4) worry lines from children, or anything else. Flawless.

But I also noticed I could tell she was wearing make up.


I don’t wear enough that you can tell. I wear so little foundation that people don’t know I’m wearing it. I am the Anti-Tammy Fay Baker. And now? Now I’m going to look like I’ve got it caked on?

Phht. I don’t.think.so.

I’m hoping that she just botched up watching the video and I’m not suddenly going to look like Plaster Face.

I so suck at this girl thing. I can’t find the perfect black pump, I can’t find the perfect bra, and now I appear to be traveling a path leading towards Make Up Hell.

I shoulda been born a man.

Posted by Boudicca at April 9, 2006 10:15 PM | TrackBack

Yo Bou... I wear that stuff. Only because I can put it on and you never realize I'm wearing it. It is good stuff.

Posted by: vw bug at April 10, 2006 06:12 AM

I've been wanting to try it - but seriously I'm in love with a tinted moisturizer for summer. Light, can't tell you're wearing it and it does a decent job of covering without lookin' like you've done your face in plaster. Clinique has a good one as does Lancome.

Something to think about......

Posted by: Tammi at April 10, 2006 08:40 AM

It'll be ok, Skippy! You can go light. I'm anti-Tammy-Faye too but sometimes where a little foundation when I leave the house.

Funny about the DVD. My sister was married to a Cuban man years ago -- his Mom gave my sis a HUGE makeup kit and accompanying video as a Christmas gift. Naturally she was hugely insulted. But I guess the made-up look was a cultural thing for them. Can't relate. At all.

Posted by: Marie at April 10, 2006 08:52 AM

I feel your pain. The extent of my make up (on days that I actually manage to get make up onto my face, which does not include today since there are no clients coming to my office) includes eyeliner and mascara. Period. My boss has been trying to make me into a girl, so I've bought some lip stick and lip gloss that I wear only if I'm having seriously low self-esteem or if a really important client is coming in.
I don't blow dry or curl my hair. Ever. I loathe shoe buying. Seriously, I lament having to buy shoes. HATE IT! It's torture for me. I'm lamenting having to go buy bras in the next few weeks.
Foundation?! What's that?
I am, however, vain in that I like to have my unibrow waxed semi-regularly. And I hate that society has convinced me that my eye brows are just too full. This has been a recent (past 3 years) realization for me.
I probably should have been a boy, I'm so not girly!

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at April 10, 2006 11:02 AM

I too have rosacea (sp?) and have been using bare esscentuals for about 5 months now. I never played the video - just remember to move the big brush around your face in a circular motion until you have covered everything - it is easy to put on too thick but the good thing is that it's so blendable you can easily fix it if you need to and it's light as a feather - it really does cover up the red really well without having too much goop on the face.

Posted by: Napster at April 13, 2006 09:26 AM

I have been using Bare Essentials since January. I like it because it is very light.

I did watch the video and you will find it useful since you do not apply this makeup like everything else.

Posted by: Amy at April 16, 2006 03:24 PM