July 25, 2006

The Wagon Wheel

It has been my experience that nearly every married couple has… a wagon wheel.

OK, maybe not an actual wagon wheel, as Morrigan and I use ‘wagon wheel’ as a symbol. Do you remember the movie ‘When Harry Met Sally’? In the movie Harry and Sally’s best friends hook up and get married and Harry’s buddy owns a wagon wheel table that Sally’s friend finds hideous. She refuses to have it in the house and he refuses to part with it.

He parts with it.

In the early months of my marriage, our wagon wheel was… my husband’s water bed. It was dark and big and had built in shelves in the headboard. Masculine and dark. But that wasn’t the bad part; the bad part was, I flat out couldn’t sleep in it. It hurt my back. It was way too soft.

I HATED that waterbed.

And he could not part with it. He’d slept on it for years and it was his. Perhaps it was a symbolism of his bachelorhood, I have no idea, but he really did not want to part with it.

We didn’t argue about it really. I stated my case that it had to go. I stated it a couple times, but I am not a nag. He stated his case that it was a perfectly good bed and would stay. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and tell him it was a hideous piece of furniture reminiscent of the late 70s or early 80s, but I truly hated it. Add to the fact I had moved into HIS home and didn’t exactly bring a bed with me to the table, and I felt pretty stuck.

For a couple months. Until my back couldn’t take it. I was miserable.

So, one night I grabbed my pillow and a blanket and laid down on the floor, informing him that I refused to sleep in that bed one more night. I’d sleep on the floor or the guest room, but I wouldn’t suffer through another night’s sleep in that bed.

And I was serious. I wasn’t budging. Ever.

We got another bed that weekend.

So as Morrigan and her Beau start going through their things they have found their own wagon wheel. And it’s Mo’s. It’s what we call ‘The Fork and Spoon’, brought over from Okinawa while The Great Omnipotent One was deployed there in the 60s.

Click to Enlarge.

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They hang on her dining room wall and her Beau hates them. Ok. Maybe hate is strong, but he said they could go in the basement. Heh.

My eldest has called dibs on them. He said he really only wants the fork for his bedroom, but he’ll take the spoon if he must. Mo informed him ‘one does not separate the husband and wife’. Fork and spoon are a matched pair.

But for now they stay with her. Her Beau has said definitively they do not go in the dining room. I’m laughing off to the side as The Fork and Spoon have always been a bit of a joke. And Mo got them! Heh. And Mo keeps telling him they’re fashionable now, digging out Pottery Barn magazines to show him.

Beau’s not buying it.

We shall see what happens. Worst case they end up in my eldest’s bedroom. I suspect best case is they end up in her basement in their new home.

And my question is… What was your Wagon Wheel?

Posted by Boudicca at July 25, 2006 08:48 PM | TrackBack

Tonight I got the commitment that when we build the wine cellar in the basement they can go in there. Not sure what a fork and spoon have to do with wine...they belong in the kitchen or dining room. Perhaps I'll string a grape vine around them...festive!

Posted by: Morrigan at July 25, 2006 09:34 PM

I still think we should have each one engraved with your names. Beau on the fork and Mo on the spoon. A matching set. I'm telling you, it's romantic! And i still think you should put them over your headboard in your bedroom!!!

Posted by: Bou at July 25, 2006 09:43 PM

Don't have one. Never did. But then, when I got married I didn't have jack squat. If I were to get remarried (Yeah. Like that's gonna happen.), I can't think of anything in my house that would be a wagon wheel. You've seen my house. What do you think?

Posted by: Denny at July 25, 2006 09:45 PM

Nope, Denny, you don't have a wagon wheel. But Mo's Beau didn't either. SHE has the wagon wheel!!

Posted by: Bou at July 25, 2006 09:52 PM

Well, I must be getting old....Hubby and I just celebrated our 17th anniversary (20 together)...and there's not a single thing I can remember him having, or me for that matter.

I think I got rid of all of his things when I moved in with him. Unless you count the snake.

Posted by: Rave at July 25, 2006 10:01 PM

Ok, I almost did a post on the absolute horror of this fork spoon thing. I grew up in a lower working class neighborhood, and I swear about 50% of the homes had these up.....

Not a fan of the big fork and spoon myself..

and I love kitch...love kitch, but hate the fork and spoon.

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at July 25, 2006 10:02 PM

I think every military household from the 60s had a fork and spoon!

Posted by: Bou at July 25, 2006 10:06 PM

I used to have one of those! I called it the "Bobby Brady Tiki Spoon!"

Posted by: Sean at July 25, 2006 10:47 PM

I remember "Everybody Loves Raymond" had an episode about the fork and spoon on the wall. Turns out was a symbol of a 40 year grudge match between the mom and dad. I think Morrigan needs to see that episode.

BTW, I think I'd rather have the wagon wheel table than the fork and spoon.

Posted by: Jerry at July 25, 2006 11:05 PM

Ours was Mr Weenies childhood dressers. (Yes childhood). We used his dressers from his childhood as our dressers for the first 7 years of our marriage.

I finally told him they go or I go, that was at the 6 year mark. It took us 1 year to find a bedroom set that he would agree upon.

The dressers? They went into another bedroom for another 2 years where upon I threatened again that we need better stuff for the guest rooms.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at July 26, 2006 07:16 AM

LOL QW - I think that may be ours too. My fiance also has a dresser from his childhood which I think is HIDEOUS but he insists he has to keep. He is letting me get rid of pretty much anything else I want though so it will stay for now. I'm sure I also will insist it go sometime.....

Posted by: Carmen at July 26, 2006 07:45 AM

Ha! I think we had that same set!

Posted by: Oddybobo at July 26, 2006 08:04 AM

Bou, your stories always make me laugh. I remember the "Everybody Loves Raymond" episode that James mentioned, even though I can't stand Raymond. It was a funny episode, however.

My hub collects almost everything in sight, and after 25 years together, I've been able to let some of these things slip away to Goodwill, unknown to him. Otherwise, I'd have an entire house full of wagon wheels, and I don't think we'd still be married! I kept the "antiques" as he calls them. They are just stored in the closet for "safe keeping". Wayyyy in the back.

Posted by: Laura at July 26, 2006 08:12 AM

Those Horrors of the 1960's deserve a special place...in the basement. You don't have a basement? That's what attics are for.

On the other hand, if Morrigan builds a Tiki Bar / Wine Cellar, she can convert it into a monument to Kitsch just by hanging those bad boys on the wall.

Posted by: Elisson at July 26, 2006 08:17 AM

Well, in my previous life it was his damned stuff fish. Mounted. He wanted it in the living room. And the funny thing was HE didn't even catch it. It bought it at a damned garage sale.

I pitched a fit. His ex wife was there and took it, thinkin' it would get my goat. She hung it in her living room. I let her - smirking all the while. About 5 years later, when she and I were "having words" I let the cat (or fish rather) out of the bag and MAN was she ticked. hehehehehe.

Next time? If there is a next time. I'm sure it'll be something I have. I have many wierd things that I'm very attached to. ;-)

Posted by: Tammi at July 26, 2006 10:01 AM

... my house is entirely populated with penguins... seriously, there are thousands of them... luckily, I have my bunker (blogroom/manroom) to retire to from time to time...

.. in my next life, I want to come back as a leopard seal...

Posted by: Eric at July 26, 2006 10:15 AM

oh, and wagon wheel?

one wagon wheel?

hell what I wouldn't give for 1 wagon wheel...
hell I have an 18 wheeled Conestoga.

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at July 26, 2006 01:37 PM

Sorry, not married so no 'wagon wheel' issues, yet. However I am curious why Ringo wants a fork that size in his room???


Posted by: TxAFbrat at July 26, 2006 04:41 PM

Remember in Major League, when the Wesley Snipes character would tack his hitting gloves on the wall for every base he stole? Well, I've got these condoms...oh...wait a minute...Mom reads this.

Posted by: Toluca Nole at July 26, 2006 04:57 PM

Lol TN!

I think Morrigan may have wagon "wheels". Don't forget the FSU stuff.

Posted by: Sissy at July 27, 2006 08:17 AM

Oh there are wheels alright. I have every corsage I've ever received along with all of the bouquets from being a bridesmaid 7 times. Where do I put these? (I know Dad- in the trash) Oh, and he doesn’t much care for my art. I'm starting to think the basement will be ALL mine.

Posted by: Morrigan at July 27, 2006 08:36 AM

Gag me with a giant spoon! (and fork) We had those too.

As for wagon wheels, my house is loaded with them. My hubby moved into what was my home when we got married. He does not part with things well, so we have a very crowded house. Maybe someday we'll have a house that's big, that we choose together... and maybe then he'll be more willing to let things go. The problem is, his family has boatloads of "heirlooms" so we're going to need a very large house if it's to not feel crowded. Sigh.

Posted by: Marie at July 28, 2006 07:08 PM