Scene: My vehicle, driving Bones to voice lessons, after school.
Bones: Heh. I did something kind of funny today.
Bones: No, really, you'll think this is funny.
Me: Are you in trouble?
Bones: No... no... listen. I lowered my voice about a half octave all day today when I spoke so everyone would think my voice changed over the weekend.
Bones: hahaahahahahaha, it was so funny.
Me: You never got out of character?
Bones: Nope. All day I had a deep voice.
Seriously. Can you imagine?
Imagine this. He had a sub today in one of his classes. She happens to teach drama, but for whatever reason she was subbing in math. The kids had finished their seat work and so she had this game to play with them. It was a Q& A about what they thought about teenagers.
She started with Mr. Deep Voice.
And evidently, their banter was so funny, the entire class was laughing hysterically as was she and she finished it with, 'I am so Tweeting all this so everyone can enjoy it."
I said to Bones, "You did this entire thing in your Deep Voice?"
And he said, 'Hunh. yeah. No wonder all the kids in my class were laughing SO hard..."
I suspect something will get lost in the Twitter...
Mr T finished his Biology Chimera project. If you'll recall, he was given a single strand of DNA and then from there they had to go through multiple iterations to figure out what their creature looked like. They were then to build their creature and after having pulled a habitat out of a hat, they were to determine whether their creature could survive and then had to place their creatures in a shadow box type scenario depicting the environment.
I think their little guy looks like something out of Ice Age. This is him without his horn and without his sex identified.
Next is their creature in his habitat which is Taiga. You'll see he now has his horn and the blue beads signify it's a male. They decided not to put a male sex organ on him. Evidently, a team of boys a few years ago put a HUGE sex organ on their creature and got into some trouble. I got the impression the sex organ was bigger than their creature...
Anyway, T and his partner opted for blue Mardi Gras beads, which is fitting given the time of year.
As I've said before... this is not his Mother's High School Biology...
The other day, I came home from work and was cleaning, getting ready for dinner, when Bones walked out the back door, into the middle of the yard, and started to hang out behind a large pine tree.
I had to run to the grocery store and said to his brothers, "What's up with Bones?"
They replied, "He's out back..."
I looked out the back window and he was just... hanging around this tree, mostly hidden.
Me: Is your brother doing drugs?
Ringo and T: *blink* What?
Me: Something is weird. Is your brother doing drugs?
Ringo and T: Mom, that may be the dumbest thing we've ever heard. No.
And I left.
I came home and Bones was inside and he said, "I felt so much better. My stomach hurt and the fresh air really really helped me a lot... Now I know, that's where I should go when I don't feel well, outside."
Last year, we were at a Silent Auction for Boy Scouts when Bones conned his Dad into allowing him to purchase a little computer camera for just a couple bucks. Since then he has asked me a few times to set up Skype for him.
I don't allow him to have a FB account. No good can come of that. We're talking about Bones, afterall.
Two days ago, it reached a crescendo. "Mom, Mom, Mom, you need to set me up a Skype account! Mom, please, you said you would. Mom, Mom, Mom."
I got up and jokingly said, "Do you have a girlfriend?"
He got quiet, looked at me and said defensively, "Why would you say that? No. No, of course not. " Which I immediately knew to be a HUGE lie.
I dragged it out of him, got his Skype set up and promptly sent invitations from his account to my Mom and Dad and to Mo from his account saying something like, 'I have a new girlfriend, so Mom set up this Skype account for me. Will you accept my invitation for Skype?"
He was horrified and immediately sent a Skype comment to both accounts saying "I didn't send that!" Or something to that effect.
I pulled T aside later and said, "Did you know that Bones has a girlfriend?"
T: Yeah. Why do you think he was outside the other day? He was talking to her on the phone.
Me: That liar. "Oh, I have a stomachache" What a jerk. I can't believe that. What do you know?
T: Nothing. I think she's a Dance major at school.
Me: That's it?
T: And she has big thighs.
T: That's what he said. I don't know anything else.
So this is what I've pieced together, Bones has a girlfriend, who is a Dance major, a little taller than him, and she has big thighs, and he goes outside to talk to her. I haven't seen her on his Skype account, but I am monitoring.
Meanwhile, Ringo was sick AGAIN this week, relapsing. We're not sure if he just has a bad cold he can't shake or a sinus infection, but he came home from school early on Thursday and slept from 10AM until 6:30AM the next morning.
I said to Bones, "I think if I take him in, I'm going to have him tested for Mono..."
Bones: He can't have Mono. You catch that from kissing girls.
Hunh. Just thought I'd throw that out there to the blogosphere. I didn't realize it was a cause and effect.
Stupid me straightened him out. Considering HE is the one that has the girlfriend that he is trying to hide from me, I should have allowed him to continue believing that kissing girls will give you Mono.
I'm tutoring the little girl down the street in PreCalc and they're on the Trig section.
They've had a teacher problem, as in something happened to their PreCalc teacher in November, and suddenly an Alg II teacher was told, "OK, you're teaching this now."
PreCalc is just Alg II on steroids, but she didn't have the luxury of having the summer to know the book and develop her own lesson plan with her own examples, so she's literally one step ahead of the class.
The good thing about having taught a class before is you know what problems to assign and what problems... not to.
So Monday she assigned the homework, the girl is totally lost, I went over and helped explain, but the VERY FIRST problem assigned (which was actually #26)... was something weird and immediately I knew... it was bad.
I said to her, "Look, we're going to skip this one. I can tell this one is ugly. Let's skip this, I'll go over it at home, and when I know what the answer is, I'll have you do it and I'll keep you on track."
So last night I came home and spent a good hour working on this one problem, catching various Alg mistakes because it was late and it was... a long problem.
She went to class today and her teacher apologized and said she had no idea it was so nasty, she promised nothing would be on the test like that, and she held up the piece of paper full of her calculations.
A paper that probably looked very much like this:
I give the teacher BIG credit for doing all the homework. My issue is with the textbook company.
Really? I don't know one Junior in HS that could pull this out of their hat. OK, maybe ONE, but that's one kid out of a lot of kids I know.
This is nuts...
But really, what does it say about me, that I had no qualms sitting there doing it until I knew I had it right? My eldest shook his head and said, "Mom, I can't believe it..."
However, I sent it to reader Peggy U, and she COMPLETELY gets it.
We're both sick...
... It wasn't so hard to be one.
T is a freshman. This weekend has been spent memorizing Romeo's little speech. Why did I think it started with "Hark!"? Evidently it doesn't. So as my son comes to me, book in hand, to check his recitation, I always start with "Hark!" and he shakes his head and say, 'But soft!'
Some little girl is currently at home learning Juliette's schpiel.
Tomorrow, she will sit on a ladder, T will stand below, and they will pair off reciting from memory this favorite scene.
Said I to T, "So, are you going to get all Drama and act like you're in love?" to which he replied, "Yup. I get extra credit..."
There is so much to make one laugh when thinking of this. First, Mr. T is the antithesis of drama. He is the King of Downplay. Second, Mr. T does not have the sound of a great orator. His voice is very flat; there is literally no intonation. And it's deep. So it's deep and flat. And third, he kid is in the gangly stage. Fortunately he's not self conscious.
So I'm picturing him at the base of this ladder reciting this and trying to be all drama and I think it's really dang funny.
Meanwhile, in Biology, he has been working on his Chimera Project. He was giving a strand of DNA and from there he creates his RNA, something about mRNA and tRNA and then something about amino acids and then looking them up on this Amino Acid Trait chart to determin the traits of his animal.
This weekend was spent building his animal with his teammate. I think is it is going to look like a long fuzzy piece of poop with a long nose and bird legs. Crazy.
This is not his Mother's Biology. Seriously. No wonder I had to hire him a tutor...
In 1995, I was pregnant with my first son. After church, I said to my husband I wanted pancakes. The local iHOP was the only place we could think of, Northern Palm Beach County not being that built up and breakfast places not being in great abundance.
We sat at our booth and ordered, my husband's back sitting to the back the the restaurant. I faced the back of the restaurant.
Along the back, the staff had placed two long tables end to end to sit one family. They had just come from church and the dad was in a suit, with the mother dressed in hose and heels. The entire family was dressed as if they'd just come from church, treating it with the Sunday Best. There were teenaged children and boyfriends/girlfriends. In all, I think there were probably 10 people.
I kept looking back until finally my husband said, "What's up?"
And I replied, "That guy in the back, I'm trying to place him. I know I work with him at Company X. I'm going department to department. I've ruled out Warranty, Provisioning, and I think Finance. I don't think he's in Finance. I'm trying to think if he's in Project or Contracts..."
My husband turned and looked, rolled his eyes and said, "Hunhead. You don't know him. That's GARY CARTER, the catcher from the Mets. You saw him play a few years ago when we went to Shea Stadium..."
He just seemed so comfortable and so happy with his family, and we weren't at some big fancy restaurant; we were at iHOP.
I've seen him around town since. He lived just a few miles from us and I'd see him at the gas station pumping gas. I never said anything of course, because I may have THOUGHT I knew him, but I didn't.
He was such a regular guy. I hear stories of his kindness.
And when I think of Gary Carter, I think of the guy, smiling, laughing, and loving his family at iHOP... 17 years ago.
Fifty seven years old is too young to die.
When I think I've seen or heard it all... I haven't.
People. Stun. Me.
More later. I have a headache and that twitch in my left eye came back. And I found out today I'm traveling for a week in March on business. I was 'ascared' I was going to be at some remote base where you can see Russia from their back door. In March. It is cold. I heard it should be closer to home. Hands on the product, I'm cool if it's way out in cold country, but it would be nice if I didn't die of frost bite in the process...
And rumor has it that there is a laptop coming my way so I can work more hours on the new invisible airplane. Haven't decided how I feel about that yet...
I am becoming an expert on Music Theory. I'm learning Triads, primary, dominant, inversions... you name it. I'm learning it.
And why is this?
Because Bones is barely passing his Music Theory class and he needs to pull a B or better to stay at his school. His major is music, so he has to be able to pass the Music Theory class.
Music Theory is a lot of math. He doesn't see it that way, but it is that math part of your brain. I look at his worksheets and I can see the trends and understand what is coming and why. He does not.
So I'm showing him what he needs to do, in more simplistic terms than the book is showing, trying to break it down. He may never understand the theory, but if I can let it become a habit of "Do A, then B, then C" like long division's MDSB, then he might make it through.
This part of his brain is very immature. Working with him on this makes me understand more why people say music helps the math skills. It's still exercising that part of the brain.
I was in Atlanta this weekend for The Wee Flambina's Christening. She is so yummy. I have a lot of pictures, which I will try to edit down, but here are two.
This is Bones and the two Flambina's:
And this is the Wee Flambina on Christening Day. I called this originally Spun Sugar, but my Mom had a better name that made me laugh, "Spun Sugar in a Mickey Mouse Diaper".
Me: So, how was Civics today?
Bones: GREAT! We're learning about the Mayflower.
Me: Cool! Did you tell your teacher you're a descendant of the Mayflower? George Soule!
Bones: Uhhhh, NO. It's not like I have it on both sides...
Me: Dude, it counts. Somewhere way up the line you had a grandfather that was on that ship.
Bones: So, with all the people you know that were descendants of the Mayflower, do you know any of them related to that one guy?
Me: *blink* Umm... Bradford?
Bones: No, the famous guy. The big guy... the head of the ship...
Bones: Christopher Columbus!
Me: Wrong ship, son...
I went to my first re-enactment yesterday. Odd reason as to why I was there, but it was a re-enactment of the Battle of Okeechobee, where American soldiers made an attempt to force relocation of the Seminoles and take over.
The Americans declared it a victory, but it was not. The Seminoles won.
As I milled around with my girlfriends, making our way to the battlefield, we came across an "Alligator Demonstration."
How in the world could I resist?
Is it not an unwritten rule in blogging, that if you come across an alligator, you have to take a picture and send it to Jimbo, who hates gators more than just about anything in the whole wide world?
And so with my handy dandy cell phone, I snapped a picture and promptly sent it to him for only in Okeechobee would you go to n re-enactment and have an alligator demonstration as well. It was a two-fer...
He asked me if they demonstrated it eating a person. Alas, it was not to be. But let me tell you, there were people walking all over that cage, INSIDE it, as if they belonged. I stayed OUTSIDE.
We did have the unfortunate experience of seeing it defecate. Just in case you were curious, it was the most rancid horrific smelling putrid awfulness one could imagine and I was standing 10 feet away.
My one girlfriend said to me, "Now I guess we know why swamps stink..."
Here they are saying, "Jimbo! Come out and Play!"
Classic Tshirt in the food tent, being run by the Seminole Indian Tribe, 'Homeland Security. Fighting Terrorism since 1492".
My son came home from school yesterday and informed me that in his AP English class, they'd written a paper on the history of a famous song and then they had to sing it. They were given, "I've Been Working on the Railroad".
I asked how it went and he said, 'Great. I was the only one who knew the words, so my partners stood behind me and snapped while I sang the rest of it..."
Me: You sing?
Me: You can hold a tune?
Ringo *indignantly*: YES
Me: Hunh. Who knew. How did it go?
Ringo: Peggy said that my voice was soothing and she had this urge to go to sleep.
Me: I... just didn't know you sang.
Ringo: Yeah, I sing with my friends all the time. We sing "Come Sail Away". I start it low and everyone keys off me.
Me: *blink* By Styx?
Ringo: Yeah, Bobby txt'd me today and said that during his History test he kept singing Come Sail Away in his head... to my voice. He said it was weird.
I had no clue this kid sang. NONE. And honestly, he may totally suck, but evidently he has no qualms singing in front of people. My introvert is evidently not very inhibited.
Bones informed us the other night that one of the songs they are singing in his vocal group is "I've Been Working on the Railroad". I found that coincidental and told him today when he got in the car, "You won't believe what song Ringo had to sing in his English class yesterday!"
Bones: Ummm. "Come Sail Away"?
Me: Uh no. Why did you guess that?
Bones: He was singing it in the car the other day.
Me: Can he sing?
Me: Carry a tune?
Bones: Yup. He's a bass.
Me: Well, he was singing "I've Been Working on the Railroad", you know like you have been singing in Boys Chorus?
Me: He said his partners didn't know the words, so they snapped it. Who doesn't know the words to that song?
Bones: Well, Mom. Seriously. That song is from YOUR generation. I'd expect YOU would know the words.
Me: Dude. Not only is it NOT my generation, it's not even Big Daddy's. We're talking... 1920s.
Bones: Really? I'm so surprised. I thought for sure they made that song when you were a kid.
This conversation happened between my husband and me last night at the Christening class.
The Deacon was having everyone smell the two different oils so we knew what they smelled like in advance. He handed me a container with the first one, it's a solid, and I held it while my husband and I smelled it and then I passed it to the man next to me.
The second oil I held in my hands and the following conversation happened, my husband and I are in hushed tones the entire time:
Me : Hunh. What's this smell?
Hunhead: Pine. It smells like pine.
Deacon *not having heard us*: This oil I tell people is the scent of Christ...
Me: Christ smelled like a pine tree?
Hunhead *raised eyebrow*: Shhh...
Me: Did they use a pine tree to make his cross?
Hunhead *closing his eyes, taking a deep breath*: No.... (shaking his head)
About 10 minutes later, I was starting to get fidgety. I kept smelling Pine. I was smelling my shirt, smelling my arms...
Hunhead *still hushed tones*: What in the world are you doing?
Me: I still smell Christ.
Hunhead: NO you don't. Did you put that oil on you?
Me: NO! I didn't! I still smell him though. Christ is all over me.
Hunhead: It's in your head. Leave it alone. Shh. Stop it.
I stopped fidgeting, accepting I was going to have to just sit there and smell Pine while he evidently... didn't.
We started to walk out to the car and I started smelling my arms again, then smelling my hands.
Hunhead *no longer hushed tones*: Hun. WHAT.ARE.YOU.DOING
Me: Christ is all over me. I know. You don't smell it, but it's on my hands. I smell Him!
Hunhead: You know what... YOU were the one that held that container. I didn't. It must've had the oil on the outside so that's why it's on you and I'm not smelling it.
Me: I need a shower. Christ is stuck on me...
I'm not sure I'll look at a Christening the same ever again... I know dang well when the Fat Pookie has that oil rubbed on her, and I'm holding her, I'll inhale her and look at my husband and say, 'You know Who she smells like, right?"