I got in a nasty argument with a doctor in a doc in the box last night. Bones is really really sick. If it were not for the likes of Alexander Fleming, he'd be dead by next week. He has a nasty throat infection he's not fighting well and he's on augmenten.
When I realized how nasty his throat was, hugely swollen pussy tonsils, I told him we weren't waiting and I took him to the local urgent care clinic. I wrote briefly 103 degree fever and sore throat.
I realize it was 7PM and everyone was done. (They close at 8.) But that doesn't give anyone an excuse to not actually examine a patient before deciding what tests should be run.
And when I told the 18 year old Med tech that we were NOT doing a flu test, but a strep test instead, she reported to the 'provider' as the doctor was called, and I'm sure that pissed her off (the doc was a woman, just so you know the pronouns), in particular when the Med tech came in with the flu AND the strep test and I said once again, "NO flu test".
It was the principle. Come look at my son, listen to his chest, look in his throat, check his ears, listen to what he has to say, and then if you tell me "flu test", I'm going to say yes. But to demand tests to be run from a side office without ever having looked in his eyes... that is a No-Go.
The strep test came back negative, I had no idea if the Dr was even going to come in, so I was sitting there trying to figure out what to tell the Med tech to do, when the Dr did grace us with her presence.
And she was loaded for bear.
How dare I make the decision about the flu test. And on and on she went and as I met her point by point, she told me to keep quiet while she finished. And as she went sideways, I became a huge huge bitch.
Meanwhile, my son was horrified, stuck between two aggressive women.
When she finally bothered to examine my son, listening to his chest, he said meekly, "Exactly what is the flu test?"
She smiled at me smugly, looked back at him and said every so sweetly, "I only swab your nose."
And that's when I said, "Baby, if you want a flu test, you can have it. If it will make you feel better, you can have it."
And then realizing that he had to actually live with one aggressive woman, while the other he'd never see again, he said, 'no, no, I'm good'.
She then proceeded to look in his throat, which was nearly closed off it was so red, inflamed and pussy and with large eyes, she snapped her head to me and siad, 'OH My GOD! Have you seen his throat?!"
To which I folded my arms across my chest and deadpanned, 'Why yes, yes I have, and that would be why I'm here."
And she said, 'He's going to need anti-biotics!" (This coming from the woman who had been reaming me out that he had a virus and needed tamiflu to fight a virus... without examining him.)
I deadpanned, "Why yes he is, which is why we're here."
And with that, she went on and on with Bones about how he needed an anti-biotic, a steroid, something for his throat and couldn't go to school.
She scooted out and I never saw her again. Someone brought me the script.
When we were in the Publix pharmacy waiting, Bones said to me, "Mom, in her defense, she thought you were just like every other parent who thinks they know everything because they watch Dr. Oz. She didn't realize who you were and how smart you are."
And I told him, my only issue is that she asked for tests without seeing him. If she'd examined him and ordered the flu test, I'd never have questioned. At one point, I never knew if we were going to actually see a Dr, only the 18 year old Med tech.
It has been a long damn time since I've been that big of a bitch. I don't regret it for a minute. Not.One.Minute.
We had tickets to Les Miz tonight and Bones wasn't feeling well, so my husband and I took separate vehicles. We decided if Bones felt poorly at intermission, I'd take him home.
On our way to the theatre, he started talking to me about music, as he is apt to do. He has a fascination with my time in the 80s, which for the record, was uneventful.
Fun, but uneventful.
He also seems to think we all lived a life out of Footloose, but that's another story.
So this conversation today, went something like this, as best as I can recall. A song by Journey was on the radio.
Bones: So did you listen to Journey?
Me: Not so much. I didn't love Journey. Maybe some REO Speedwagon, some Styx. Not so much Journey.
Bones: Hunh. What else did you listen to? Simple Minds?
Me: Meh, yeah, I liked them. I listened to The Police. My Junior English teacher taught poetry using music written by Sting.
Bones: Sting? There was a singer names... Sting?
*nearly driving my car off the road as he's never heard of Sting.*
Me (aghast): Yes. There is A singer named STING. Good grief. And she taught poetry because song writers are essentially poets, so she loved his stuff and used him.
Bones: Heh. Sting. Did he wear make up?
*nearly having a heart attack that he thought Sting wore make up*
Me: Good Lord no. Bones, Google Sting. You'll see what he looks like.
Bones: Mom, he won't show up in Google. Sting the WWE wrestler will, because he's all big right now.
*feeling light headed, wondering if I'm going to stroke out to the blasphemy of it all*
Me: Son, google Sting. I suspect he will show up in Google. I STRONGLY suspect he will show up over your Sting Wrestler guy.
*Bones googles Sting*
I glanced over my shoulder where he had his phone.
Me: Well, look at that. Every single picture is MY Sting. Every.single.one....
Bones: Hunh. Well, here is mine. He is wearing make up. That's why I wondered if Sting the singer wore make up. Maybe the wrestler got it from him,
Me, glancing back over: No. Your Sting looks like he got it from Kiss... who I did not listen to.
Good grief. He didn't know who Sting was and was SURE that Sting would not show up in Google... because the WWE guy was famous and all.