October 27, 2006

The Secret Life of a Game Show Host

Children are so different. You raise them the same, but how one responds to one thing, may be so totally different from the others.

For instance, I can look at my two older boys cross eyed and they stop in their tracks.

Bones? I distinctly remember saying to him when he was in preschool, I was so exasperated by his constant challenging and pushing the limits, “YOU! YOU! YOU! YOU should be SO VERY afraid of me! And you’re not!”

And his elder brothers in unison saying to him, “You really should…”

We all lose it. It happens when you’re a parent. In the last 7 years probably, I promise I have had my head spin around 8 times, and vile green goop vomit spew forth from my eyes and mouth, too many times… I cannot count.

But Bones? He stands there, with the look of, ‘Are YOU talkin’ to ME?’ Makes me nuts.

To date, he’s the only one of my children I’ve actually had to no-kidding spank. It made an impression. He’s not made the mistakes of that week since. (Big offenses.)

Anyway, the other day at dinner the following conversation ensued to the best of my recollection… setting: Dinner table. Entrée: Spaghetti.

Bones: Have I eaten enough to have dessert?

Me: No. Eat it all. I didn’t give you that much.

Bones: Ahhhh, really?

Me: You can get down if you want. I couldn’t care less. But I’m telling you now, that plate is sitting there ALL NIGHT and if you think for a minute you can eat ANYTHING OTHER than your dinner tonight, you are sorely mistaken. I make ONE dinner. That is it. It will sit there all night… until you eat it or until its time for breakfast.

Bones: OK. Mom. Can I eat just the meat or do I have to eat the spaghetti too?

Me: What part of this dinner became, ‘Let’s Make a Deal?’ Do I look like a Game Show host? I am YOUR MOTHER. What part of ‘EAT IT ALL’ did you not understand? Do you get it? This is NOT ‘Let’s Make a Deal’.

Ringo: Wow. I sure wish I’d had the guts to be 7 years old and think I could play Let’s Make a Deal…

Heh. My 2nd son as well… it would never have crossed his mind either.

But Bones? Push, push, push… pushing the limits all day long. The rules must not pertain to him. He must surely be the exception. Wheeling dealing, there’s got to be some way he can get his way.

Makes me nuts.

And NO. I do not budge.

He ate his dinner. They all just wear on me some days…

Posted by Boudicca at October 27, 2006 07:34 PM | TrackBack

Believe me, there is AT LEAST one of those kind of kids in EVERY family! For me it's the eldest. 15 going on 30....

Posted by: Lemon Stand at October 27, 2006 08:18 PM

MIL will instantly cave to RTY. Oh, you don't like it, let me make you something different. And then when hubby and I tell MIL, "no, this is not a restaurant. RTY will eat what is in front of her," MIL gets huffy and offended and mad at us.


Posted by: wRitErsbLock at October 27, 2006 08:32 PM

My friends' kids always try that stunt at the dinner table when I'm in charge. I always come back with the same line: If you're too full to eat the main course, then you MUST be too full for ice cream.

Posted by: Jerry at October 27, 2006 11:57 PM

Jerry's line is my line too, with the nieces and nephew.

Posted by: caltechgirl at October 28, 2006 01:11 AM

Oh trust me, I use that phrase too. After awhile, you come up with all sorts of stuff when the argument is the same. Amazing that kids that can make straight As in school can't understand the logic about being too full for ice cream if they're too full to finish their dinner.

Posted by: Bou at October 28, 2006 07:13 AM

Right there with you...

Posted by: vw bug at October 28, 2006 07:34 AM