October 28, 2006


My husband has been gone since Thursday. It's been me and the boys... something we do fairly frequently in the fall and spring. Usually I try to make dinners that we like, but their father hates.

Last night I made a dish called bierocks, which I make out of a pot roast I cook throughout the day and Pillsbury Hot Roll mix. The boys were quick to tell me that their dad likes bierocks too, but I'm all about the comfort food this weekend.

My nerves were damn close to shot going into this business trip and I need anything to keep them from being completely frayed.

The boys have been running me on the edge of sensory overload for the last couple weeks. I'm just... done. Done with the arguing. Done with the hitting of each other. Done with the name calling. Done with the noise. Done with the incessant... everything. Done. And last night they damn near threw me over the edge.

Today... I threw their butts outside. I didn't care. It was that or I was going to frickin' lose it all together.

Tonight I made my favorite dish from when I was a kid, my Mom's cheese fondue. The kids loved it, thankfully, so I know I'll make it again. They asked for chocolate fondue for dessert, and I used that as a huge bribery to keep them out of my hair. It has worked.

I don't know why any of them thinks hitting is acceptable. I have never hit them. I don't know why treating each other like complete crap seems to be acceptable as I have never treated them like this, nor do I treat anyone around me like that. I don't get it.

One minute they are hugging each other and are sugar and rainbows and the next minute they're trying to beat the ever living snot out of each other, at outrageous noise levels.

And I'm done.

I've kept my cool for the most part. Separating them into separate rooms. Keeping one on each side of me when in the grocery store (the two youngest are my big offenders). Time outs and timers. Throwing them outside. Separating them in the car.

And quite frankly, I'm not looking for advice, so don't give it unsolicited or you're going to piss me off and I'll delete your comment. No shit. I'm venting. Its my blog. I'm allowed.

But tonight I await the 9:00 hour, when I can put them in bed, turn out the lights and sit in my quiet hot bathtub with a good book, in complete silence and soothe my nerves.

I don't want to talk to anyone, touch anyone, be touched, smell, think, or taste. Nothing. A sensory deprivation tank sounds pretty damn good right now.

I have to get to tomorrow and some weeks, that's a tough thought. Tomorrow.

Posted by Boudicca at October 28, 2006 07:27 PM | TrackBack

When you feel up to being touched, give yourself a big hug from me.

I can send some of that chocolate vodka..... :-)

Posted by: caltechgirl at October 28, 2006 08:46 PM

uh huh...hmmmmm....sounds like it is a pint of good chocolate-something ice cream and one spoon time.

Posted by: vicki at October 28, 2006 09:04 PM

Boy was I over today. Nothing like sitting in a tub of water so hot it takes your breath away. It can't possibly be that good for you, but holy cow, every muscle in my body is relaxed. I feel like spaghetti girl as I sit here drinking the iciest coldest water I could take.

There is a party going on next door, which is just as well as I have decided that after that 2 hour bath, I am now going to read in bed for another hour, making it midnight... and since tomorrow is Sunday, I can sleep in until 8.

Life doesn't get much better than that.

And tomorrow and next week I'll be eating salads, and spinach and vegetable soup to try to make up for all the frickin' cheese and chocolate I consumed tonight.

I think my heart is getting clogged as I type. But it was oh so very good...

Posted by: Bou at October 28, 2006 10:15 PM

Bou - They're boys. That's what they do. It's called testosterone. All I hope is that your husband is home more when they hit their teens.

Posted by: Denny at October 28, 2006 11:41 PM

Bou, listen to Uncle Denny. He's right, you know. Boys will be boys will be boys. We're mean, dominating, and striving for upward movement in the pecking order, especially at that age. Trust me, it is entirely natural.

Posted by: Walrilla at October 29, 2006 12:02 AM

I really feel bad for my mom now...my brother and I used to fight horribly when we were younger (including physical!) I remember us getting our asses whooped or sent outside many times. Hope you were able to relax some last night.

Posted by: Lisa W. at October 29, 2006 07:25 AM

Want to borrow my tank?

Posted by: Tink at October 29, 2006 09:28 AM

Ahhh, I see not much has changed while I've been gone - that's good.
(And I'm not back, just visiting due to the extra hour.)

Here's a funny story for you:
I have two older brothers. After a tough weekend with my son a few years ago, I was talking with my mom about how she raised four kids (3 boys). I asked; "How did you keep from killing us boys?" She replied; "I didn't have to - you beat the shit out of each other."
So, there you go.

In my conversations, I often relate how amazed I am a the strength and resiliancy of mom's in the world. Y'all are something else. Y're frickin' crazy, but y're something else....


Posted by: _Jon at October 29, 2006 10:07 AM

No advice from this corner!

I just wanted to let you know that you are soooo not alone. My boys are horrible to each other. Constant bickering. Hitting. Kicking. Wrestling until someone ends up in tears. And when my husband goes away you can practically guarantee that it will escalate to the point where I'm pretty much ready to join right in the fray.

Of course I don't. I just scream!

Posted by: Anita at October 29, 2006 11:09 AM

Yep, I agree with Denny. I would worry a lot more about tree brothers who didn't occasionally have some knock down drag outs than those who do fight..if it was a daily or more often thing I might worry but the oldest is just letting the others know he is the oldest and supposed to be the leader and will do so until one of the other two can show him he ain't as tough as he thinks he is.

Posted by: GUYK at October 29, 2006 07:24 PM

Yep, each one is just trying to show he's the alpha boy.

Posted by: Angus of Aberdeen at October 29, 2006 07:32 PM

Yep - Denny and all the other guys have hit it on the head. They are boys and much as we are told that environment influences kids - there are also the inborn traits that are just there. Nothing you can do about it... except throw them outside and get them out of your hair for a while. *grin*

While girls are generally not so physical - their traits are just as annoying and will fry your brain just as fast as what your boys do. After a short while - that high pitched squeal would get to me and make me want to tear my hair out. Whereas with my son and his buddies - the rough-housing was enough to send my BP rocketing.

Then when you have one girl and one boy - the boy will go to tackle the girl and the girl will start screeching... ARG!

You will get through it. It's tough - but you'll get through it. Just think of it this way - at least they are keeping it in the family... Not going out and tackling unsuspecting friends and strangers LOL.

Posted by: Teresa at October 29, 2006 09:36 PM

Boy could I have been a bigger crank last night? Holy crap. And it started all over this morning. I made them do housework... all my laundry is folded and my house is clean.

The boy thing... I am keeping what everyone said in mind, that it is what they do, but I'm telling you, it makes me insane some days. I gave my husband an ear full this morning. I'm sure he hung up the phone thinking, "Crap. Do I HAVE to go home?" ;-)

Posted by: Bou at October 29, 2006 09:40 PM

When I first read about "constant' noise, arguing and name calling, I thought you were talking about a few local political campaigns!

Then I read the rest, and the comments, and I'm realizing all the bickering and fighting my brother and I did at home was normal. For some dumb reason, I thought everyone ELSE grew up in the Cleaver house, so why did I get stuck with THIS? I'm still amazed my parents didn't drop us off on the side of the road someplace.
Thanks for the note Bou. I'm glad things have cooled down.

Posted by: George at October 30, 2006 01:22 PM