January 11, 2007

A Possible Clean House in April

Iím cramming as much into work as I can. Iím trying to get as much accomplished as possibleÖ finish any open project, trying to start and finish those that have been slowly accumulating.

The type of work I do on the military aircraft I work on is winding down. The aircraft is settled into the fleet and performing well.

I found out yesterday that the money didnít really come in as not so much is needed anymore... working ourselves into obsolescence, so March may be furlough time. I told my Tech Lead, ĎNo guilt, it is what it is.í

And it is.

There are days I really hate my job, but love the guys I work with. There are days my job is OK, but I love the guys I work with. Iíve burned no bridges so if money comes in later, I know theyíll call me back.

And it is not my job so much that I hate, but the chaos of some days. 100 email and 20 phone calls and "what happened here? Why did this not run? Can you tell me about this project you worked 6 months ago... I'm getting to my part? Can you work this instead? We need to reprioritize, THIS is now the most important... so drop that and work this." And on and on. The chaos frustrates me... no fault of anyone's, it can be the nature of the business.

I had my performance appraisal last month. The only thing I got dinged on was something along the lines of taking initiative. I had to laugh as Iím all about taking initiative. Iím a self motivator and I must stay busy. I hate people trying to motivate me. ButÖ I donít want to lead anymore. Iíve put that here on my blog before. I donít want to worry about people, finagle budget, or think about work when Iím at home. Iím done with all thatÖ I donít want to lead.

And so when I did the self assessment prior to my appraisal, when it asked me for my goals, I put ĎIím content.í When it asked me where I saw myself with the company, I put, ĎIím contentí.

Because itís true. Iím not going to put crap down to make myself look better. I am what I am.

Iím content.

And so for that section, I got dinged and I laughed to myself. I take initiative to get the work done I haveÖ but beyond that, leave me alone. I got high marks on the quality of my work and customer satisfaction. That more than made up for it. Heh. And the bonus too.

Life is temporary. Relationships come and go. Jobs donít last forever. I may want to hang on, but sometimes itís not an option. It always sucks.

Iíve been thinking about what I want to do with myself if I do get furloughed. I have some big projects I am working in my philanthropic life that should be finished by end of March. A big conference Iím helping to plan, seating for a fashion show benefit, the quilt for the 2nd graders and a few other thingsÖ all of it ends in March.

If I do get furloughed, I think my house will be really clean in April. Iíll walk or run or swim every day. I may get in better shape. I might look at volunteering at Hospice one day a week, if they need it. Maybe the VA hospital here in town. More than likely Hospice. It is quieter.

Iím not sure. I know Iíll never have another job like the one I have now, with a boss who is so flexible and men who are so damn appreciative. Never in my life have I worked with a group of people, from the people who work at my company, to those at Company X that we subcontract for, to the Great Wizards in Seattle, who are as appreciative as this group of men.

They always thank me. For everything I do. Always. Even for coming in. And theyíre sincere. Even this BIG Wizard in Seattle. Every email I send him on a status for something Iím working he ends with, ďBou. I appreciate what youíre doing for us. I know you have a family and it means a lot to us that youíre so dedicated.Ē One of them even sent something in for my performance appraisal. Unasked.

And THAT is what I will missÖ appreciation. It is lacking in this world.

Posted by Boudicca at January 11, 2007 09:29 AM | TrackBack

And if you get bored, you can stop by my house and do some cooking and cleaning.

Hey, I just want you to be busy and happy. :)

Posted by: Ogre at January 11, 2007 09:49 AM

When you're at a labor-intensive job and you're one of many moving parts getting the job done, it IS nice to have someone notice how hard you're working. It's easy to feel like you've gotten lost in the chaos or are taken for granted.

Folks on the desk where I work say we're only noticed when we foul up, which seems true lots of the time. Not a good thing.

And on those self-evaluation forms that ask you to list your weaknesses, my favorite line from a co-worker was: "What do they expect us to say, "I'm a big f-up???"

Posted by: George at January 11, 2007 09:59 AM

Evaluations are strange things. The person doing the evaluating has their own goals for their career... I think many times they forget that not everyone has the same goals. There are people who are "content" to operate at a level that doesn't advance them up the ladder of management. Why evaluators consider this to be a bad thing has always left me puzzled.

A person doesn't have to have CEO or managerial aspirations in order to do their work well. I'm glad you are happy with what you are doing. I'm more glad you've found people to work with who are so great! You're right - it's a rare thing.

If you do end up furloughed, I know there will be something that comes up - maybe something you aren't expecting - to fill the time. I just hope it's something you enjoy a lot.

Posted by: Teresa at January 11, 2007 01:22 PM

Oh wow. I hope that it all works out just the way you want it to.

A week from Friday is my last day at my little part time job - and as much as folks there have asked me to change my mind, I too am looking forward to having a much cleaner house and more time for me. :-) It *is* nice to be appreciated, though.

Posted by: Richmond at January 11, 2007 02:14 PM

Might I suggest renting a large dumpster in March? It did WONDERS to my house and self esteem. As soon as I can get back into the volunteer thing, it is at the top of my list. The Veteran's home keeps calling and asking for volunteers. At the moment I need time for my family and planning a trip to Orlando!!!! We all need the break desperately.

I hope that if this door closes for you, a whole lot of windows open!

Posted by: Lemon Stand at January 13, 2007 09:13 PM

Have I told you lately that I appreciate the fact that you post regularly?

You're probably my most consistent blogchild, and it always makes me happy to know that I'm guaranteed to have something new & interesting to read every time I visit.

Not too many I can really say that about.

Posted by: Harvey at January 16, 2007 12:53 AM