March 02, 2007

Different Minds

The guys at work are missing the boat when it comes to me. Big. Maybe I should chalk it up to a Mars/Venus thing? Man brain vs. woman brain? The age old ‘men never understand women’?

I walked into work today and the guys were standing around, one of them reading a screen and I heard one say, “Wait. This’ll really spool her up. Ready?!”

I said, “What? Did I fail some asinine ISO9000 audit? Were my labels on my desk drawers not straight? Did I have the wrong file in the wrong fer-eakin’ drawer?”


It would seem, that as of Monday, we must all register our cell phones with security. We are not allowed to have cell phones that take pictures, along with no cameras, recording devices, etcetra…etcetra… etceterrrraaaaa.

Fine. I’m cool. The no camera/recording device thing was standard at Company X. We work national defense. And Company X is allowed cell phones with cameras, but we are not. Some people chafe at that. I don’t care. I personally think they should not be able to either, being the type of defense work we do, but hey, if they think we are a security risk by their SHARING THEIR PROPRIETARY DATA WITH US, I’m cool.

They invented the stuff. Not us.

So now we get a memo saying we have to register our cell phones, PDAs and anything we’re allowed to have on company property that is electronic, with security, to ensure we have the legal equipment. (After registration, if caught with something you should not have, termination is probably in order.)

And… they thought this was going to spool me up?

I looked at them, looked at the schedule as to when I’m supposed to go to register my phone, grabbed a black bold sharpie and put it on my calendar. They didn’t get it.

I don’t care about registering my phone or any electronic device if it’s for security reasons… even though I know its just window dressing. It must be done. I work in the defense industry. As I told them today, ‘Never in our history, has it been so easy to be a bad guy.’

With camera phones… holy crap. The spy networks all over the world must’ve been jumping up and down with how much easier everything is now since ‘everyone has one’. If the companies I work for need to put up a front for security reasons… so be it. It comes with the territory.

We all know damn well if we wanted to do something bad, we could. When you’ve been doing what we’ve been doing long enough, you know your hardware. I know the materials, the torques, the dimensions and the manufacturer. One guy I work with can rattle off damn near every part number on our product. It’s insane.

I think we’re all a group of idiot savants sometimes.

But it is what it is and as much as the guys I work with are offended that someone would act like they’re a bad guy, when we’re all patriotic Americans, you have to do what you have to do.

By the time I left, all the guys with heart stints were talking about registering their stints. They were seriously offended. Me? Not so much. If at all…

I told them there is a BIG DIFFERENCE in my mind to having to register my phone with security as opposed to having to label every drawer on my desk with the contents, putting tape on books so you can ‘tell which one is missing’, and putting tape in a box on the floor so you know where the garbage can goes… as well as making sure every chair has five spokes.

One is security. The other is… some seriously screwed up pathetic people with fragile egos who have been put in charge of the ridiculous, their heads swelling with the thought they are in positions of power, when in reality, they just look like twits.

Big Difference.

In my mind.

Posted by Boudicca at March 2, 2007 11:13 PM | TrackBack

"For Reference"

Here's my business card....but it's only for reference. You must go to to find the most current version of my information.

Posted by: Sissy at March 2, 2007 11:19 PM

I work in the petroleum industry. Our company decided that having a camera or phones w/ cameras was a security problem. So now they are banned. The only problem was that the company issued cell phones had cameras on them (it was actually cheaper to get them that way, in bulk). So then the company had to get a new contract with a different phone company without cameras. Geez.

Posted by: Jerry at March 2, 2007 11:44 PM

Sissy- You know... when I was labeling my drawers, with the labl maker I had to CHECK OUT, I forgot a drawer for 'For Reference'. I wonder if I'll get tagged for that during my inspection.

Jerry- We've always had this 'no phone with camera' policy, but it has come to light that not everyone may be following it. They were doing random inspections, hence this new policy. One young kid actually had the nerve to say to security, "they don't make cell phones without cameras anymore!" We laughed. They don't make one HE WANTS, but oh, yes, they make them.

Posted by: Bou at March 2, 2007 11:57 PM

As an EH&S type, I have to at least defend the 5 spoke chair. After all, it makes it much more stable and less prone to tipping. (For those who have not outgrown the tip back in the chair habit.)
We had cell phones with cameras banned as well, but I have a company issued pda/phone now, and camera works just fine, thank you.

Posted by: jck at March 3, 2007 08:12 AM

We just got a new security system where I work.
Six months ago, you could just walk in and wander around the building freely. Both employees and guests.
Today, employees need a photo ID swipe card to gain access to anything except the front lobby and elevator. Guests must stop at the front desk to get 1) a temporary pass which swipes nothing, and 2) an escort to take them wherever in the building they need to go.

So, we're all tagged like cattle at the market.

There's no system in place to stop someone with a gun from shooting the front desk lady and all the people on the first floor before taking the elevator to any other floor and shooting those people too.

I'd advise against taking the job as receptionist.

Posted by: Roses at March 3, 2007 08:41 AM

Security never bothered me too much at IBM. We had the no camera rule, but then, sometimes we taught pre-release products and we didn't want info on them going to our competitors. What did bug me was when I worked 2nd shift and left my desk unlocked, which one had to get through two badge readers to get to, and I got a security gig. I guess they worried about the after hours cleaning crew. I didn't do too bad since I only got two gigs in eighteen years.

I'm with you. Security good. Six sigma, Quality circles and ISO9000 bad.

Posted by: Denny at March 3, 2007 12:12 PM

Gads, the Auto Industry has never allowed phones with camera's in plants or research & development areas. It's nothing new to me.

As for the memorizing part numbers, have done that at every job I had. People were amazed that I could remember all of them. I was an walking encyclopedia for my co-workers.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at March 3, 2007 02:21 PM

So that's why Sammy's wouldn't let me bring my phone in, it was a National Security Issue, dang, and I thought the ladies were just shy...Silly Me.


Posted by: P'cola Titan at March 3, 2007 05:05 PM