April 01, 2007

Is Garlic Powder Next?

Bones had his First Holy Communion yesterday at the School Parish. Father likes to have it on the Saturday of Holy Week so the kids can take Communion with the family all during Holy Week… Palm Sunday as well as Easter Sunday.

After Communion Bones said, “That wafer tasted like cardboard. I know at our church it tastes different.”

His Big Daddy (TGOO) said, “How do you know that? Have you tasted it?”

Bones: No, they look different! I carry the Eucharist up to the altar on some Sundays and it’s a different color!”

Big Daddy: Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it TASTES different.

Bones: Yes it does. Ours are peach color. At our school, they are see through. They taste different at our church.

And so today is Palm Sunday and the first day Bones could take Communion at the church he attends every Sunday. I know he is awaiting the day he receives ‘the pizza piece’. We knew today would NOT be the day. But his Big Daddy was really waiting for Bones to get home so we could hear if there was in fact a difference in the taste of the Eucharist… from church to church.

Bones came in and immediately Big Daddy said to him, “So Bones, tell me, was there a difference? What did the wafer taste like today?”

Bones said, “It tasted like cardboard. I thought for sure it would taste different. Today’s were even see through like at Holy Communion.”

He sat on my lap, and said, “Next time, I’m going to take salt and put salt on it before I eat it.”

Now keep in mind that Catholics believe in transubstantiation. The Eucharist is not just symbolic. The substance of the wine and bread change into the blood and body of Christ. My family is not Catholic, but we know what the kids are taught.

Immediately I said, “You don’t salt Christ’s body…”

And my Mom quickly added, “The human body has enough salt in it.”

I couldn’t quit laughing. Let’s just salt the body of Christ before we eat it. I could just picture him pulling a little salt shaker out of his pocket.

Oh yeah. That would go over REAL big. Oh yes.

Posted by Boudicca at April 1, 2007 08:11 PM | TrackBack

I'll take the sour cream and onion flavor of our Lord's flesh, please.... hehehe

Posted by: Graumagus at April 1, 2007 09:45 PM

I prefer ranch dressing...

Posted by: That 1 Guy at April 1, 2007 11:03 PM

You should have put spew factor on this one. That is hilarious!!!!

Posted by: vw bug at April 2, 2007 07:15 AM

Peanut butter, that's the best way to go.

Posted by: Angus of Lochalin at April 2, 2007 09:04 AM

I'm thinking they would go best with salsa... but that's just me.

Posted by: Contagion at April 2, 2007 09:19 AM

TGOO's got the perfect one for those on Adkins or South Beach Diets...

Double your protien intake.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at April 2, 2007 09:25 AM

Gah... protein.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at April 2, 2007 09:25 AM

Congratulations...and thank you for a Most Hysterically Funny Post. Leave it to Bones...

Would it be impertinent to ask whether serving onion dip with the Eucharist would be considered sacrilegious?

Posted by: Elisson at April 2, 2007 09:40 AM

Going on the idea that Jesus was from the middle east, I think hummus would be a good accompaniment. Babbganouj (the eggplant stuff), maybe?

Posted by: Bob at April 2, 2007 12:23 PM

That's hilarious!
What about Tabasco, since Cajuns often are Catholic?

Posted by: mockin'bird at April 2, 2007 01:22 PM

Have you ever heard Tom Lehrer's Vatican Rag?

If it is try playing it safer
Drink the wine and chew the wafer
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to transubstantiate.

Yeah. I know. I'm not going to heaven.

Posted by: Denny at April 2, 2007 10:55 PM

OH, I'd miss stories about Bones if you ever stopped blogging. I've a feeling things are just gonna get better.

Posted by: Nancy at April 3, 2007 02:20 PM