April 12, 2007

Filter Please

Have you ever had a conversation and thought in the middle or at the end, “Oh. No good can come of this…”? Actually, that happens to me a lot, but tonight’s that occurred during a parent meeting… it was bad enough that I came home and said to my husband, “I have to tell you what happened because this is so going to bite me in the ass…”

Let me state up front, that I’m fine with porn. Video, hardcopy, internet, I don’t care, as long as it’s between consenting adults. We don’t have any in our home, its not what my husband particularly cares for, but neither of us have a problem with and I think folks get way to bunched up about it. I also feel strongly that it doesn’t belong in the hands of children… although we all know that as they morph into teenagers they will seek it, in particular boys.

I’ve hung out with guys WAAAAAAY too long to think otherwise. All of them talk about their first Playboy or some stash they found (like hitting some type of pre-pubescent y chromosome lottery) or hiding in forts looking at stolen pictures of Miss November surrounded by fall colors and sucking on a zucchini.

Background out of the way… on to tonight’s story.

So I was sitting with some parents going over some scheduling, a mom and dad across from me and a Dad next to me. We were making small talk until the meeting actually started. We were speaking of the end of the year party for our kids being at a local water park. The Dad next to me said, “Oh we should go on such and such a weekend as the Hawaiian Tropics bikini contest is going on…”

And I said, “Hunh. Well. There is no hiding that one. It’s not like you can say in a situation like that, “I buy it for the articles.””

He replied, “Oh I don’t buy it for the articles. I DEFINITELY buy it for the pictures. By the way, when should I start hiding them? I don’t yet and my kids have never noticed.”

The Dad across from me said, ‘I already keep them hidden’, to which his wife replied, “I think they’re not hidden enough.’

And not really putting a filter from thought to mouth I said something along the lines of, “Oh well, I wish we had them in the house…”

Leaving it… just… like… that.

Silence was at the table and the Dad across from me, the one with his wife said, “I think your husband and I need to switch wives.”

The other Dad was laughing and I said, “Wait… that’s not what I meant.” The Mom was laughing and I continued, “What I MEAN is… at least if there is hardcopy in the house I KNOW what my boys are rifling through. If they’re searching for it on the internet… I have NO CLUE!”

(My boys can’t search for it on the internet now… I’m talking about later when their wily ways will find a method.)

Of course they all laughed and said I was right (that is debatable) and that they’d not thought of that. Then again, they all have small boys and I have a 12 year old. My thoughts are in a different place than theirs.

And so as I got in my car to leave I thought, “This is so going to come back and bite me…” Good Lord.

Posted by Boudicca at April 12, 2007 08:51 PM | TrackBack

Now, that sounds like something I'd say ... that cracked me up.

Posted by: Army of Mom at April 12, 2007 09:20 PM

Good thing I stopped doing porn flicks. The lads don't need to see me hooking up with the ladies.

Posted by: Toluca Nole at April 12, 2007 09:23 PM

The wife and I recently, had a similar discussion. I quit with the Playboy thing several years back, but I have kept a few of the issues, collectors items of course. You know, Charleze Theron, Downtown Julie Brown, Katarina Vitt, etc etc.

(excuse the spellin' it is too late to look em up)

I rarely think of them as they are in my bottom sock drawer. But the other day my son was putting up some laundry and told me that I should not have "cigarette advertising" in my drawer. On the back of one of the mags was an ad for Camel smokes...

Long story short, the wife freaked out, swore up and down that the mags would lead our son into self indulgent (Read Wanking) behavior...

So I let her know that as a young man, all I needed was a JC Penny Catalog with a bra section...

I'm still in the other room....


Posted by: P'Cola Titan at April 12, 2007 09:25 PM

When I was dating Shane, I had ordered a subscription to Playboy, in my name, for him as a gift. He really enjoyed it. He was then sent to Afghanistan so I put them in his care packages. We later broke up and the subscription wasn't up.

At the time, I donated them to my roommate's husband.

A couple of months later, I moved to North Carolina and lived with my English teacher from high school, temporarily. However, my mail was forwarded to her address....including the Playboy's that were in my name that I had totally forgotten about.

I had a fun time explaining that one.

Posted by: Sissy at April 12, 2007 09:50 PM

hahahahahhahahaha. That's a riot.

Posted by: caltechgirl at April 12, 2007 11:38 PM


Posted by: vw bug at April 13, 2007 06:06 AM

I know hubby looks at porn, and usually I don't care. Because at the end of the day, I reap the rewards. But, for some reason I have not managed to get from him, he has his desktop computer at home set to automatically download porn from a specific place. So, there's a folder that is full of porn. Again, not a big deal, frankly, I like looking at some of them. The problem is he used to not be careful (he's cured of that, but now his best friend knows about the file and is the offender) and leave that folder open in the finder window. His daughter does not need to come across those pictures.

I have several times gone in to use that computer and discovered the porn folder open (again, now know it's the best friend's carelessness) and hit the roof.

BTW, his desktop wallpaper right now... Sam from Day by Day, nekkid, wearing a gun. Crap, I just now remembered that? And step-daughter is home sick (read: going onto that computer to play with the various websites she's allowed on) and I forgot to change the pic.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at April 13, 2007 07:22 AM

"Hey! There's Uncle TN and 'Aunt' Miko... and they're doin' it!"

Posted by: That 1 Guy at April 13, 2007 08:06 AM

I know that my sons will get exposed to porn, I'm setting my sights low and hoping they opt for regular porn and not freaky ass midget bondage or something...

Posted by: Graumagus at April 13, 2007 09:01 AM