April 22, 2007

When a Slice is Not for Bread

I don’t typically tell stories of my husband. He’s not blog fodder. But sometimes he’s so damn funny and this time I could not pass it up.

He took up golf last year. It’s a corporate thing… most of his clients golf as well as his peers. Plus, I keep telling him he needs a hobby for when he retires. I said to him, “I have acquired a life over the years and when you retire, it does not become yours.”

Cold, but true.

So he has taken it up, but unfortunately he has not had the time to put into it that he should. He works a lot of hours and although he has a client that is an instructor and has been helping him, he needs to play a game every week and hit balls a lot during the week. Instead, he plays like every three months.

Or he’ll binge play. He’ll play a couple weekends in a row and then not play for months.

About six months ago, a client of his said to him, ‘Ohhhhh! My boyfriend just took up the game. Please play with him!!!”

Now… this boyfriend is in his 80s, just took up the game and had NEVER had a lesson. And, this couple lives in a very exclusive neighborhood in our area.

My husband said yes and when he came home and told me I said to him, ‘Oh baby! Did you tell her that you suck?!”

Ever the supportive wife that I am… we still laugh at that.

The day arrives, and the boyfriend comes with one of his buddies, whose in his 90s. The buddy used to be a great golfer, my husband could tell, but now he’s old and has poor muscle tone and can hit the ball straight as an arrow, but no further than 50 or 60 feet.

Meanwhile, as I said, the boyfriend has just started and has NEVER had a lesson.

On a side note, these old men are very very wealthy and at one point, hit their balls in a water trap. My husband said they spent 20 minutes trying to dig out their balls… they HAD to get them back. Finally my husband was like, “HERE! I’ll GIVE YOU one of MINE!”

Anyway, they had started playing at 10AM, so they just about made it to hole 9, about Noon, when the elderly buddy said, ‘OK. Time for lunch…”

And… that… was… that. They were finished.

My husband came home and said to me, “I won!!!” Heh. We still laugh.

Flash forward to earlier this month. The Great Wedding of 2007 is this weekend and Mo’s Beau is a golfer. All the guys are golfing Saturday morning and so about two weeks ago my husband realized “Holy crap! I need to work on my swing and try to get rid of this slice!”

He’s been out hitting buckets of balls, and had a lesson with his client earlier this week. His client said, “You just have to get over this hump. Most people have gotten over it by now, but you’ve not been practicing enough to get through it…”

And so today he went to hit balls. And tomorrow after work he is going to hit balls. He’ll probably hit Tuesday and Wednesday as well.

As I said to him, he working to get over this “Hump of Suckage”. We shall see…

Heh. He’s so funny when he talks about his golf game.

Posted by Boudicca at April 22, 2007 08:57 PM | TrackBack

Your hubby needs to watch Caddyshack (many times) rather than hit buckets of balls.

Na Na Na Na ... Be the ball ....

Seriously, that or Bad Golf Made Easier or Bad Gold My Way.

Golf has a special handicap category just for me (and a few other people).

Who else can hit drives that land either 200 yards in front of the tee box or 20 yards behind the tee box?

Who else can win a hole in a "skins" game with -1 actual and -4 handicapped? Did I mention that I am a bad golfer?

The point of golf is to keep it "a good walk" and just hit the ball. Practice swings are just another way to annoy the other players.

If your husband has a problem with a slice or hook, he needs to pay attention to how his club lies when it hits the ball and adjust how open/closed the club face is when he starts his swing to correct for how the club ends up after the swing.

Because of the mess I made of my right elbow (back in the 60's), mechanically my swing is a little odd. So I have to do different adjustments to make it work correctly than do other people. Very different.

Above all he needs to focus on enjoying the game. If golf was meant for people who cared how they looked, golfers wouldn't wear plus fours, madras, and other funny pants.

Posted by: The Thomas at April 22, 2007 09:57 PM

I love to hate golf... it's so damn fun, but only if your group doesn't give a rip.

A few years ago, I had a decent swing. Unfortunately, I've long since lost it, not being able to hit the range or course. I mean, it's really bad...

I've taken to throwing the ball down the fairway.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at April 22, 2007 10:03 PM

hahahahahaha T1G. Hubby has played exactly once. I used to play until I hurt my ankle in HS.

I can't imagine how bad I would be now.... I play a wicked game of mini-golf, though.

Posted by: caltechgirl at April 22, 2007 10:41 PM

Thomas, "Be the Ball!" LOL. I forgot that one... The big thing so far for him is just to have a good time. He's been golfing with some great people... everyone is laid back and just wants to have fun, and I think that's key. He always has a good time when he goes out with Mo's Beau too. He's been really working on his hit the last two weeks, trying to consistantly hit the ball well. He's working on his slice a bit at a time, but will probably be concentrating on it more that his hitting is better. He told me last night, "I have no idea what i happening to my club at the end of my stroke that I'm slicing as bad as I am." So I think he needs another lesson for someone to analyze what he's doing so wrong. Otherwise, I'm going out with a video camera so he can see for himself.

T1G- We had a night golf tournament one year to attend. I don't golf AT ALL. we would all take our balls to whoever hit it the furthest. I just threw mine as far as I could, then I'd pick it up and take it to whoever was truly golfing us down the course.

CTG- Heh. I so completely suck at mini-golf too... not just golf. ;-) (I refuse to take up the game.)

Posted by: Bou at April 23, 2007 06:12 AM

Some comedian had the perfect line about golf:

"I never took up golf, I already know how to swear."

Posted by: George at April 23, 2007 06:35 AM

I am ok at Golf, I get better as the season goes but even at the end of the season I am only ok ...

I go to have fun, the people I play with have fun ... we have a riot and that is really what matters, having one hell of a time with people you like ...

Posted by: Quality Weenie at April 23, 2007 10:59 AM

I have a set of clubs that's been collecting dust in storage for years. Just could never get the hang of that darned game.
Probably a good sign that I shouldn't be playing was the day that I nearly killed people, after the driver slipped out of my hand, flew about 60 feet, and landed on top of a sun shelter several people were sitting under.
I think I'll stick with disc golf ;)

Posted by: Shadoglare at April 23, 2007 11:05 AM