April 24, 2007

Societal Implications of... The Truth.

Ok, Ok, Ok, I have to come clean here. I didn’t do just the facts during The Talk. (Ref yesterday's post) I mean… I did. But at the end, I always add a thing or two… like…

I tell them all the bad words that mean sex. I think this is kind of a useful thing for them to know. They’re going to hear it so they might as well understand what the meanings are. With Mr. T, I got wide eyes and a “OH! I’ve heard ALL OF THOSE before!” Humping, screwing, fucking, all of it. (Gotta love what I’m going to get googled for on this…)

And then I always tell them about mammals. Now I have learned since last time when I said to Ringo, “Do you remember when we were on the farm and we saw those horses and you said, “Look, Mom! They’re giving each other piggy back rides!”? Well, they weren’t. They were mating.”

To which Morrigan informed me, “Great. Now he thinks everyone does it doggy style…”

Well, I gave that thought. I said to T the same thing I said to Ringo about the horses at the farm and then I added, “That’s how animals do it…”

I figured that was clarification enough. But instead, I got a little boy staring at me, calculating.

Do you know what he was calculating?

How long a horse’s member must be to reach from behind all the way in as horses are so damn big.

I’m not kidding.

He stood there staring at me and finally he said, “I don’t see how that works. Mom. That’s a LONG way!”

And I said, “YES! YES IT IS! Horses are huge…”

I think my sister is sitting there reading this saying to herself, “NO. She did NOT say that to him!”

I do, however, think I should get credit in that I did NOT explain the saying, “Hung like a horse…” although I suspect he has not heard it, but when he does… he will DEFINITELY get it.

Heh. I crack myself up sometimes...

Posted by Boudicca at April 24, 2007 10:11 PM | TrackBack

Wait a minute! You mean we're not supposed to do it doggie style? No one ever told me!

Posted by: Denny at April 24, 2007 10:16 PM

Ahhh, that whole conversation with Mo and me was pretty funny. She said that about Ringo thinking people only did it doggy style and I got flustered and said something like, "I did my job! i told him about the act. Its up to him to figure out the symantics like all the other boys do! That's what Playboy is for!"


Posted by: Bou at April 24, 2007 10:30 PM

"hung like a horse" indeed!

Posted by: oddybobo at April 25, 2007 08:03 AM

Well, I swan...

Bou, you really oughta YouTube these little "discussions" of yours. I haven't seen a richer mother-lode of Teh Funny in a long, long time.

Posted by: Elisson at April 25, 2007 09:23 AM

Oh - and if you want a real challenge, wait'll he asks about the Inflatable Sheep at the Olde Novelty and Dildo Shoppe.

"Aw, that's for guys that are so hopeless, they can't get a date with a real sheep."

Posted by: Elisson at April 25, 2007 09:25 AM


That boy is quite the thinker... good luck with that. ;-)

Posted by: caltechgirl at April 25, 2007 04:13 PM


Posted by: vw bug at April 25, 2007 07:07 PM