July 18, 2007

Not a Big Fish Story

This is not to freak out Jimbo. We were all a little freaked out. This is a conversation that occured at dinner tonight, to the best of my recollection.

No kidding.

Husband, eyes wide: I came around the bend today on engel street (our cul de sac is off of it), just past the small bridge and in the yard of that cream colored home was the biggest damn gator I think I've ever seen.

Me: I'm lost. Which house? Where? In their yard?

Husband: I'm not kidding, Bou. I swear it was 15 feet and it was this wide in the chest. (His hands were spread to 3 feet.)

Me: Wait. Where was this?

Husband: In that house past the bridge. In their yard. The guy who does such a nice job on landscaping and LIVES in his yard. If he gets on his tractor and mows his grass, he's coming face to face with him.

Me: In his YARD? Not on the canal?

Husband: I'm telling you now, I do not want a gator that big in my yard. You should have seen the size of his head. I've not seen a gator that big... not since going to one of those tourist gator farms when I was a kid.

Folks... this does not make me happy. We intentionally did not buy on any canals, lakes or ponds. To me it was a hazard with children... one more place they could drown. But also... I didn't want gators in my yard

I don't consider that a wild life bonus.

And I don't consider having a frickin' 15 foot gator a good thing on ANY level. We are going to keep a camera in the car in case we see him again. And if we see him again, I'm calling that neighbor and making sure he knows there's a monster in his yard. My husband thinks he knows... but I'm calling anyway.

Posted by Boudicca at July 18, 2007 09:20 PM | TrackBack

Can't they call the fish and game guys out?

Posted by: Toluca Nole at July 18, 2007 09:36 PM

They could if they know he's there. How could you miss it? Better Half thinks that its the same one we've seen year after year, he's just gotten massive. I'm completely wigging he's in my neighborhood and am happy we could not afford one of the 'expensive' lots. I'll take the cheap alligator free lot.

Posted by: Bou at July 18, 2007 09:45 PM

one word: shotgun.

Posted by: caltechgirl at July 18, 2007 10:49 PM

Jimbo'll crap a blood clot when he hears about this.

Posted by: Elisson at July 18, 2007 10:56 PM

I suspect I'll be getting the second call.

Excuse me; I have to change my undies.

Posted by: Jim - PRS at July 19, 2007 02:49 AM

Game and Wildlife will take care of it. Even if it is not in your yard. Yes, I know from experience. They will not handle anything under 4 feet.

Posted by: vw bug at July 19, 2007 06:26 AM

They'll do it or contract with a trapper, but it's got to be nuisance first, I think. Going after dogs, small children, utility workers...

Whatever you do, don't feed him; they're just like cats. Feed 'em once and they keep coming back for more... ;)

Posted by: pam at July 19, 2007 06:44 AM

I think Pam is right. I think it has to be a nuisance first. I think being 15 feet long and 3 feet wide makes it automatically a nuisance... in my book. I'd never dare feed any of those suckers. Good Grief. But we can't shoot it either. I think its against the law. I know if you fire a gun in our neighborhood, people would come unhinged...

I'll keep my camera in the car, but I don't think we'll be seeing it again.

Posted by: Bou at July 19, 2007 07:37 AM

Oh and Jim, you almost got a call at dinner. I'm not joking. As we were sitting around talking about it, absolutely aghast, I thought, I should have my husband tell him about this one.

My kids wanted to go driving so we could see it and take a picture. I nixed it. If we stumble upon him, while enclosed in our vehicle, that is one thing, but I'm not going to go looking for that monster.

Posted by: Bou at July 19, 2007 07:38 AM

"Whatever you do, don't feed him; they're just like cats."

Better: Whatever you do, don't feed him; they like cats. And poodles. And small children. And guys from Joisey with great farookin' hair.

Posted by: Elisson at July 19, 2007 08:00 AM

Gad, your posts go from bugs in your food/water to gators in your yard/neighborhood! Those two posts make the fire ants in Texas sound positively pleasant.


Posted by: TxAFbrat at July 19, 2007 09:13 AM

Oh we have fireants too! I got them in my house once. They built their nest up against my back door. Scared the crap out of me. It took me 2 weeks to get it under control!

Posted by: Bou at July 19, 2007 09:38 AM

Fire ants, too? And let's not forget hurricanes. Bou, y'all have some scary stuff out your way.


Posted by: TxAFbrat at July 19, 2007 10:34 AM

You know... I think they have them everywhere now. Do they have them in the great white north? I know they have them as far north as Tennessee now and I know I stepped in a pile of them while I was in NE Alabama. I think they know no limits anymore...

Posted by: Bou at July 19, 2007 11:52 AM

Don't feed the gators? Why would anyone want to? I've only seen the little pet store ones (they used to sell them when I was a kid). I wouldn't want to be near one that wasn't containable in a small tank.

Posted by: Peggy U at July 19, 2007 01:02 PM

Just another reason I don't want to live in Florida. :) Yikes!

Posted by: Jody at July 19, 2007 01:09 PM

Just to help freak Jimbo out, ere is a story from Akron, Ohio about a baby alligator that was caught in a local lake.

Posted by: Mary at July 19, 2007 02:57 PM

Were I not so hopelessly cynical, I would like to think that people would not have to be told not to feed these prehistoric man-eating beast. Then again, there are those who purchase little baby ones in pet shops and then turn them loose when the purchasers realize that the little thing they purchased is in the process of becoming something about as charming as as a velociraptor. So then they turn it loose in some body of water in Akron Farookin' Ohio, or in Haddonfield Heights Farookin' New Jersey. If I were King, those folks would be flogged.

Alligators in people's yards? Good Grief.

Posted by: Jimbo - PRS at July 19, 2007 07:18 PM

Call Catfish or Velociman. They have experience in dealing with these matters. So do I.

Posted by: Sam at July 20, 2007 11:13 AM