August 22, 2007

School Daze

I wrote this, this morning.

My house is silent and I don’t have a job. What an odd feeling.

My kids are at school, their first day back, I’ve done two loads of laundry and I don’t have to be anywhere.

Granted, I’ll have a job, more than likely come September, mid month, but… for now, I do not. And even though I didn’t work every day, on the days I had off, I filled them with errands and things to do, trying to get as much done that is required to run this household, as possible.

I walked through the house and the beds were made. The boys made them themselves. Of course it’s the first day of school. By next week, I’ll walk through and the beds will look like beasts wrestled in them as there will be no high energy jumping out of them early with great anticipation. NO… it will be cajoling and dragging… and making the bed will be the last thing on their minds and my nagging about it, will be the last on mine.

Getting them out of bed, dressed, hair brushed, teeth brushed, breakfast eaten, lunches made… getting them into the car in time, will all take precedence over the beds.

The quiet… it is deafening.

I told my husband, that during this month I have off, I’ll go through closets and toys and books, and organize and throw away and give away. I’ll pick something every day to do… things that have needed to be done, but I’ve been putting away for that ‘perfect time’ that appears to be now.

I’m also going to do an hour of cardio a day. If I have to spend this much time alone, I might as well get back into the shape I need to be in for aging. There is no excuse… one hour of walking or riding or swimming… it is a must and can and will be done. I can’t exercise much in the summer with the kids, but now that they are in school, an hour a day will be easy.

We have a routine on the first day of school; I drop off Bones, then Mr. T., and then Ringo.

Bones got a GREAT teacher. She is young and vibrant and loving and wonderful. His girlfriend is in his class. His best buddy is not, but that blow was softened by ‘Valerie’ being in there. Stability for him. He looked a bit nervous when I left and kept kissing me on the cheek, which was his way of saying, “Please kiss me back.” The search for affection and assurance, which I happily granted. Before I left, I listed all the positives in his class, “Bones, Valerie is up front! High five! And Look! Ryan is behind you. High five! Look, ALL the Ryans are in your class. High Five! And your teacher… holy cow, she is THE BEST. She gives good hugs and she is so wonderful. You are going to LOVE her. *I* LOVE her. High Five!” He seemed better when I left.

Mr. T got a teacher I love as well, but the best part is, the two boys and girl he adores most, are both in his class. The four of them are straight A students and are always pushing for top grade. He thinks the world of these kids and their being in his class, had him walking on air. He was so excited. Hell, *I* was excited for him!!! His teacher, who I do like so much, told me she had good feelings about this class. I looked in her class, pulled her aside and I said, “I know these kids. You got a GOOD combination. This is a GREAT class. You have no idea…” She looked happy. She gives good hugs too… which I need to make sure Mr. T knows. He’s a hugger.

And Ringo. I have never cried when I’ve dropped my kids off. Never. Not in Kindergarten, not in pre-school, not ever. And I probably won’t for high school or college. To me, it’s a natural progression and I am growing with them. I’m ready when they’re ready. But today, on the drive home was tough. He’s in 7th grade. You can’t necessarily tell by the pictures, but he is becoming a man. I can see it in his features, how he carries himself, how he talks. His voice is going to change soon, I can tell. Parents didn’t recognize him from the face change this summer… the more narrow face, the muscles in his shoulders starting to take shape, making him broad and lean, the way he walks… more of a swagger. His hair has given him his age… no more, “I play the bass guitar haircut.” Everyone noticed. He wanted me there, because this is our routine, but he didn’t NEED me there. Well, maybe a touch emotionally he did, but just for a second. He didn’t really. He is independent, his own person, finding his own stride. I saw him looking around the class, assessing who was in and who was not. I did the same thing… although we were coming from different angles. He was looking for his buddies. I was counting troublemakers, of which there was only one. He seemed ok with his lot this year. I got good vibes as I slipped out doing my quiet “Goodbye”, not drawing attention to him or the fact his Mom was there. But the drive home was hard…

He doesn’t REALLY need me so much. We are in an in between. It is my goal to make him completely independent and this is the first year I’ve seen it so… forthright. It is a bit tough to swallow. It is going so quickly…

Overall though, I just have a GREAT GREAT feeling about this year. I really do. I see much personal growth, much learning, much progress made in becoming socially independent and productive citizens. I have great hope.

And there are days where that's what keeps me going...

Hope.

First day no names.JPG

Posted by Boudicca at August 22, 2007 08:30 PM | TrackBack
Comments

They're so cute!

I always had to drag my son kicking and screaming to school (so to speak) he hated it. You're so lucky your boys are enjoying at least being with their friends and even learning. Ah well, we both made it through and I think he even learned a few things. One hopes so (or he wouldn't be a Sgt at the age of 23... right? LOL)

If you are about to go bonkers, give me a call. It's always good to talk to someone when the house gets too quiet. *grin*

Posted by: Teresa at August 22, 2007 09:19 PM

I'm having difficulties watching Caitlin grow up. She's in 5th grade. I call and she immediately says, "want to talk to mom?" because she's playing with friends.

Today I called and before she passed me off, I said, "guess who is on the cover of Rolling Stone" (thinking she would have no idea of the magazine nor who was on the cover" and she said "Zach Efron". I asked how she knew and she said she guessed and then she said, "I thought the Rolling Stones was a band"....and you know my dad doesn't listen to that music.

And yes, my little sister's teen crush was half naked on this magazine...with a decent enough body for me to even do a double take.

Ugh, I can't handle another boy-crazy sister!

Posted by: Sissy at August 22, 2007 09:35 PM

Sissy- Is it ok that I have NO FRICKIN' clue who Zach Efron is?! It sounds like the name of some coolant for my a/c unit. Yeah, its tough though. You're at the age though that Caitlin is more than a little sister. You are truly watching the aging process because of the age difference.

Teresa- Be careful what you offer! If I'm not working by mid Sept and I'm still home... I'll be calling! My house should be complete by then!

Posted by: Bou at August 22, 2007 09:38 PM

*hugs* Wanna come work on my house? Play with tot for a while?

Posted by: vw bug at August 23, 2007 05:58 AM

Wow, they do look so grown up and so handsome! Oh, Zac Efron is the new "it" boy for the Tween set.

Posted by: Oddybobo at August 23, 2007 08:13 AM

They are such a handsome bunch! You're doing a great job, Mom! Enjoy your month...

Posted by: Marie at August 23, 2007 01:39 PM

Bou, It is funny that you say you don't know Zach Efron. But then again you have all boys. My son is 10 and he loves High School Musical (Zach Efron is the star) he will never admit it to anyone though. He was grounded the other day when High School Muscial 2 was premiering and he cried and begged and told me he had been waiting for years to for this moment and i just had to take back the no TV punishment. It was quite funny. My son is all boy but he loves HSM

Posted by: Lukie at August 23, 2007 04:30 PM

You know I am living my future self through all that you do with your amazing boys. I love you all so much and it is such a treat to know them and watch them grow. I guess all those "beatings" you gave them while on the phone with me through the years did the trick. :-) As for Zack Ephron, it may be illegal to think he's hot, but uh-hem, he's pretty. I would have so gone for him in hs.

Posted by: pfb at August 23, 2007 05:45 PM

Pfb- Ahhh memories. Ending phone conversations with, 'OK! I have to go now! I have to beat my kids!!!" Heh.

I realized today that my kids do know who this Zach guy is. Good Grief.

Posted by: Bou at August 23, 2007 08:11 PM

Just LOOK at them! WOW! Holy cow, Bou. Handsome guys.

Posted by: Jody at August 24, 2007 10:37 AM

What lovely sons!! And Hope is always a good thing...

Posted by: Richmond at August 24, 2007 05:53 PM