September 13, 2007

Mornings Suck

Iím not a morning person. Iíve said it before and Iíll say it again, ďMornings are good for two things and they both involve a bed.Ē

Iíd get it printed on a t-shirt, but Iíd hate to wear it only to have one of my boys say, ĎMom, whatís the second thing?í Itís bad enough that my eldest thinks people only do it like dogs and my 2nd son is fascinated to know anything and everything does it, including Meerkats. My 3rd son is still Clueless in West Palm Beach.

Clueless is good.

Caffeine is one of those things I am realizing my body does not tolerate. To drink a cup of coffee means Iím destined to be sick as a big dog for hours and hours.


It is hit or miss and Iíve yet to solve that puzzle as to when it will hit and when it will miss. Solving that puzzle would take much stress out of my life. The puzzle solving has been about as successful as this:

ďOK, last week I drank coffee and ate a scrambled egg and was sick as a dog. Three days later I had a cup of coffee and a piece of dry toast and was fine. That must be key. CoffeeÖ dry toast. ButÖ then yesterday I had coffee and dry toast and was sicker than I was when I had coffee and the scrambled egg. Is it the egg? The coffee? The moon is blue and itís raining in the Mojave today?Ē

Who knows. So I just try to stay away from coffee.

Iíve never been a big coffee drinker. In general, I think caffeine is bad for the body, and that would be EVERYONEíS body, not just mine. I see America jumping in line for caffeine by the cup making Dunkiní Donuts and Starbucks seem like the American equivalent of an Opium den. You can get it in a tiny can, buy it in your water, and itís just a matter of time before you can snort it.

I truly think it is that bad in AmericaÖ the caffeine addiction.

Not that I donít have my own addictions. Trust me. Iím an endorphin junky. No addiction is better than the other. Some people need to practically mainline caffeine, I get mine with a 5 mile run or anything else that could get me that rush.

The caffeine addicts will still be moving and grooving at 80. Iíll be in need of a double knee replacement.

But as I get older, Iím definitely feeling the need for that chemical boost. And Iím oh so wistful that my body canít hack it.

Itís becoming a choice for me in the mornings now, ďSlog through the morning until 10:30 or drink a cup oí Joe and be awake, but sick and confined to the houseĒ. I hate to say it, but sick and confined to the house is starting to win.

Iím just not a morning person. This 6AM crap is totally kicking my ass. There are morning people and there are night owls and Iím a nightish owlish kind Ďo gal. I function best getting up between 7 and 7:30, going to bed at 11. That one hour earlier of 6AM is enough to make me fumble through the morning for HOURS and HOURS until something suddenly breaks free in my brain. It can be 10:30 in the morning before that happens.

If I get up when my body allows, Iím good to go nearly immediately. And really, 7:30 is optimal.

I donít know how I did it with small children. Mr. T was farmboy. That kid was up at 6AM every morning and God forbid we went to Pensacola, which is a different time zone, and the boy would be up at 5. The mandatory time changes always kicked my butt. I would dread them WEEKS in advance. I hate looking at the clock and seeing 5AM. Hate it.

The big event in my life was when he turned four and I realized I could put him on the couch with a sippy cup of milk, turn on the TV and go back to bed for an hour. Iím surprised that I donít have that infamous date written in a baby book somewhere.

Oh, but that would require a baby book. Iím not that organized. I have pictures in boxes, not pictures in books. Yeah, Iím the suckiest Mom is sucktown.

So it is 8:30AM as I write this, having been up since 6AM and having done nothing but iron some shirts, fix lunches, get the kids off to school, catch up on the news, read a chapter out of another Janet Evanovich novel, and realize Iím pissing my day away because my brain is still in some funk, so Iíve elected to go the way of the java, and hope I donít get sick, having bet on toast and peanut butter as an accompaniment.

Mornings suck.

Posted by Boudicca at September 13, 2007 08:07 PM | TrackBack

You are soooo not the suckiest mom in suck town - or I guess you could just sit by me. I have been there a while now.

I have baby books with nothing written in them. just old calendars stuck between the covers so I cana fill them in "when I have time" - yeah right.. That's gonna happen. And Pictures in books?? I have pictures in boxes and now on teeny tiny memory cards. Wonderful. Gah...

Posted by: Richmond at September 13, 2007 09:12 PM

Oh I have the books. I have the pictures. Just not... together. A lot of good that does! And I look back on the pix now and think two thoughts, "wow, look how young I was" and "Uh oh. WTF was going on that day?"

Posted by: Bou at September 13, 2007 09:33 PM

Somewhere I have pictures of my kids... I have no idea where they are since we moved.

Mornings - whoever invented them should be shot at sunrise (it would be appropriate I think). Luckily everyone I work with is at least 1 time zone west of me, so while I will end up working some nights until 11 - there is generally not much happening in the morning. (except for today which was exceptionally filled with things that needed fixing... thus I am tired but being a night owl, if I go to bed now - I'll just lay awake. heh).

Posted by: Teresa at September 13, 2007 11:01 PM

I don't so much like morning either. In fact, I feel pukey if I get up too early. I think it's low blood pressure. Of course if I stay up all night and ring in the sunrise, I don't experience that problem.

I make up for your lack of coffee drinking. Coffee is liquid sleep substitute. I'm probably one of the worst coffee abusers on the planet. At its worst point, my addiction earned me a Christmas card from the little coffee shop in the old fish cannery building. You just know it's bad when you land on the Christmas list! Another bad sign is when they have a drink named after you - and it's only a triple-shot nonfat mocha, so it's not exactly unusual and doesn't deserve to be personalized.

I know where all the coffee places are in the county, and which ones are good and which ones suck. And I can tell you that Mitzel's restaurant couldn't make a latte if they were forced to at gunpoint! Yes, I am very, very bad.

It is sort of seasonal. I manage to wean myself gradually off during the summer months, but once school starts back comes the craving. I justify it by telling myself that a 20-oz. drink contains enough milk (and therefore calcium) to permanently shield me from osteoporosis. Therefore it is preventive medicine and I will make up for what I spend on coffee by avoiding that broken hip down the road. Of course any study that touts the benefits of caffeine is immediately filed in the memory banks, while those that hint at its dark side are ignored.

What I really think it boils down to, though, is this: When I get a cup of coffee, someone else has to make it and clean up the mess. I get spoiled. When I was working full time, I always fantasized about coming home and finding dinner steaming on the table. Well I can tell you, pigs will fly before THAT happens! And we don't eat out much at all. The coffee break is my own little bit of spoilage. You can have my insulated mug when you can pry it from my cold, dead, coffee stained fingers!

Posted by: Peggy U at September 14, 2007 03:02 AM

Spark! That is my answer for you.

I'll have some for you to try in October.

And you know I agree with you on the mornings stuff.I wish I could take the 6 of my alarm clock. But for some reason, my body has insisted I wake up at 6 each morning this week, despite the fact that I haven't fallen asleep until around 2ish in the morning. Ugh!

Posted by: Sissy at September 14, 2007 06:15 AM

Teresa- See, I need to work with people in California where they are 3 hours behind. That would be PERFECT!

Peggy- I used to be that way with chocolate until well, I had aversion therapy, except for those little doughnuts I wrote of earlier. Chocolate is a food making me sick. It used to be, "I would rather DIE than never eat chocolate!" It was a major food group and made me happy. And then well, it is looking like I could one day, so yeah, no pounds of chocolate anymore. But one day, when I am old and dying, I will eat my fills worth of chocolate and someone can pry it from my cold dead hands. The ultimate way to die!! (that is... at an old age...)

Sissy- Spark. Is this OK? I mean, is this like that red bull stuff y'all mix with vodka? Gah! Is this legal speed in a packet? Do I have to snort it?! ;-)

Posted by: Bou at September 14, 2007 06:31 AM

I've had to cut back on my jumpstart consumption..I'm down to a pot a day. Addicted? I REPRESENT that insinuation...

It may be the caffeine that is getting you. Does a soda with caffeine or chocolate do the same thing? If not it probably is not the coffee and might just be morning sickness..BAWAHAHAHA

Posted by: GUYK at September 14, 2007 07:35 AM

Eat an apple.

I read a study where an apple in the morning had as much effect on "alertness" as a cup of coffee.
-- for some people --

You may be one of those people.

Posted by: _Jon at September 14, 2007 07:39 AM

Could it have anything to do with the point of your "cycle" you are in?

Oh and to make you feel worse ..

Every picture I have is in an album with writing on the backs of them saying where the picture was taken, when and who was in them.

Oh and I also have made a scrapbook for the puppers.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at September 14, 2007 09:10 AM

My husband and one of his friends both get sick whenever they drink decaf - something about the bleaching process. That couldn't have anything to do with it, could it?

I hear you about the fuzzy headedness. I had to stop drinking coffee just after college (gave me the shakes & heart palpitations), and I went through grad-school caffeine-free. That was rough.

Posted by: Amity at September 14, 2007 09:41 AM

Guyk- I can't do soda. And no MORNING SICKNESS! A POX UPON YOU! Gah!

_Jon- As good fortune would have it, I have a bowl of apples in my home. I might just be an apple person...

QW- Nope, tracked that down on the calendar. I have a digestive issues dealing with the top of my small intestines. You know that part that is reachable through a barium swallow. Lovely. I will say, on a picture note, that I do have all my pictures filed by year and month! I hope that counts for something...

Amity- I get the heart palpitations with caffeine sometimes as well. I hear someone like GuyK drinks a pot of coffee and I think I can feel my frickin' heart constrict.

I'm off to go running now. Not joking. Luckily its because I want to and not because I ate a half a box of small chocolate doughnuts....

Posted by: Bou at September 14, 2007 09:55 AM

black tea. Almost as much caffeine as coffe, but less of the jumpstart. And it settles the stomach, so you won't get nauseated.

Speaking of, it's time for a cup, myself.

Posted by: caltechgirl at September 14, 2007 10:50 AM

Caltechgirl - Black tea? Really? I like tea, but it really gives me heartburn. I think it's the tannins. Except coffee doesn't do this to me, and I think there may be tannins in coffee as well.

Posted by: Peggy U at September 14, 2007 11:37 AM

Oh, and meerkats rock! I'm glad they don't have them around here, or the boys would make sure we domesticated them. Place is already a zoo!

Posted by: Peggy U at September 14, 2007 02:08 PM

My first comment got eaten. Dammit.

Peggy- I think that cream/milk/dairy may break down tannins. I'm not sure though. Just a thought.

Posted by: Bou at September 14, 2007 02:29 PM

Have you tried green tea? It has less caffeine and (IIRC) fewer tannins than black. (I drink a lot of white tea, personally, which is sort of midway between the two).

And as for caffeine addiction - yes, I think a lot of Americans are. Especially American kids. And it amazes me how adults think nothing of giving teeny tiny kids Coke and such - I once saw a couple at a restaurant order a Pepsi and put it in their baby's bottle. And I've asked the people who cook for the youth group kids to bring non-caffienated drinks, PLEASE, but still they bring Coke, Dr. Pepper, etc....and I have kids sproinging off the walls because they probably drank a Coke on the way to youth group, and may have had Coke at lunch, and some drink coffee...

I'm kind of an anti-caffeine crusader - I drink tea, but not more than a couple cups a day. I don't think it's healthy for kids to be consuming large quantities of soda or coffee drinks over the course of the day. I wonder how many kids have insomnia, or how many get headaches from withdrawal?

Posted by: ricki at September 14, 2007 02:30 PM

Spark is nothing like Redbull. It has a ton of vitamins in it. It's a flavored powder you put in your water. It doesn't give me a burst of energy like redbull does, it keeps me constant and it doesn't give me the shakes or speed me up like redbull does.

This is as I'm sipping a redbull and vodka....

Posted by: Sissy at September 14, 2007 03:28 PM

Are you pregnant? Or should I just keep my mouth shut?

Posted by: Lukie at September 14, 2007 06:35 PM

Ricki- I'm going to try green tea and ginger and see if it helps. I'm up for anything.

Sissy-Well just as long as I don't have to snort it or shoot it or smoke it... I might give it a try! ;-)

Lukie- Definitely NOT pregnant! Bite your tongue!!

Posted by: Bou at September 14, 2007 09:01 PM

I love tea - my father is Irish, so I grew up drinking tea. There are many different kinds, so if one doesn't suit you, try a different one! I drink Darjeeling mostly - it's very mild. For iced tea I use Orange Pekoe - which is very strong so it dilutes well with ice.

Also there's Yorkshire Gold (not sure which type of black tea that is - but it is not too over powering). There are all kinds of green teas too - and many have as much caffeine as coffee. It depends on how you brew them.

I do my tea plain (never ever with milk) and sometimes a bit of sugar. With the iced tea - I just squeeze in lots of lemon and it's wonderful.

Tea is gooood and fun - try it out!

Posted by: Teresa at September 14, 2007 09:58 PM

Have you tried black tea? Not so much caffeine as coffee...

Caelan is a morning girl. Up with the birds, little nut. Brenna will sleep... and sleep... and sleep. But no naps.

I can't wait for them to go to school. :)

Posted by: Jody at September 15, 2007 08:25 AM