September 15, 2007

Birthday Gift Thoughts

As most know, my birthday was last weekend. (Thank you Writersblock! Heh.) I always come up with a short list of things I want as my husband and boys get stuck. I’m not very materialistic, I don’t do clothes and shoes, and they find it hard to shop for me.

Well, my husband does anyway. The boys, left to their own devices, I just don’t know. It could be a wild ride.

I never get exactly what’s on my list. There is always some sort of variation, which lends itself to their creativity. For instance, I asked for the ceramic frog and was also blessed with two tiny ceramic frogs that are probably supposed to be ‘ribbiting’ but looked to me to be hurling. Then again, that may be because I’m a Mom and I am very familiar with that wide mouthed look, although usually it’s at 3AM next to my bed. Pizza or chocolate cake seemed to be the favorite ingredients… neither coming out of white carpet very well.

Sometimes my husband just listens to what is going on around me... without my knowing it... and adds to my list.

I came home a few weeks ago, having ridden my bike (one I had in college) around the neighborhood, which is five miles. My husband and two of my boys were sitting on the couch watching television. I walked in, hot and sweaty, looked at them and said, “That bike seat is 20 years old and has lost its cushion. It makes my hoo hoooo fall asleep.”

I got a collective, *blink* from the three of them with Mr. T chiming in with a “Hoo hoo? What is that?”

Me: It’s the un-weenie.

To which I got another collective, *blink*.

Let it be known I live with that a lot here. The four of them and me… we don’t exactly always think on the same plane.

Anyway, I got a new bike seat for my birthday. It says it’s made for a woman, which does lend me to wonder what the big difference is for bike seat padding. An ass is an ass, right? But it is very nicely padded, the bike seat that is. Not that my ass isn’t but evidently it’s not padded enough to make up for the fact that my 20 year old bike seat has lost its cush.

I also asked for an iTunes card. Just $20 or so, as I won’t spend the money on myself.

The day came and there were boxes and boxes that evidently came from my favorite clothing store, J.Jill. Since I have found this store, my husband has been in frickin’ heaven. He doesn’t have to think at all about what he wants to buy me. If he walks in the store, he knows anything he gets me will make me happy, the stipulation being, it must be on sale.

I don’t pay full price for clothes. No.

Unfortunately, my husband has the rationalization that if it’s on sale, then you get to buy MORE. Which is fine. Really. Until I get the credit card bill. Gah!

And on a side note, you know you’ve been married a long time when your spouse can hold up a shirt and say, ‘No… this one is too small’ or ‘this is it…’ as of all the boxes I got, NOTHING was the same size yet everything fit except one shirt. He frickin’ NAILED it.

Anyway, the boys were upset I didn’t get the iTunes card. I looked at the boxes, all filled with clothes I am in love with, and thought, “This is more than $20 worth of clothes…” And after I opened them, my husband said, “Just buy the tunes you want. Forget the gift card.”

I only wanted five tunes. Yeah, I made out…

It is not lost on me, however, that my husband buys me clothes whenever he can. I won’t. I just won’t. I walk into a clothing store and I think, “I don’t have a job and we need to pay the electrician for the generator hook up.” Or “I got clothes for Christmas and my car needs new tires.” So my clothes start to look pretty well worn, not to mention I am the anti-fashionista. I still have sweaters in my closet from the 80s, as my sister can attest to, much to her horror. I’m happy to bum around the house in jeans with holes in them and my granddaddy’s old flannel shirt, three sizes too big for me. (I’ll leave the house in the 80s sweaters, but not granddaddy’s flannel shirt. I have standards.)

My husband, meanwhile, always looks like he stepped out of GQ.

So I don’t shop. He does. I am t-shirts and jeans/or shorts and he’s Mr. GQ. It is amazing to me at times how we hooked up.

A friend of his owns a shoe store and said to him a few weeks ago, when this friend found out I refuse to own more than one pair of black sandals because in my mind, “Why in the hell would I NEED more than one pair of black sandals?” he said to my husband, “We should switch wives. I would save so much damn money.” In his friend’s mind and that of the friend’s wife, this is not normal for a woman not to want to own many pairs of sandals of the same color or to not clothes shop.

I have said to my husband a number of times, “Do you know how many men would KILL to have a wife who doesn’t shop and isn’t into clothes?!” He always laughs and says, “Yeah, right.”

But then I was thinking today as I had to return the item that didn’t fit, “Do I fully realize how many women would KILL to have a husband who begged her to buy new clothes and shoes and even went so far as to… buy them for her?”

Odd how people hook up. Funny. But odd…

Posted by Boudicca at September 15, 2007 07:28 PM | TrackBack

It's the same way between my parents: my Dad buys the best clothes for my Mom (who couldn't match colors if her life depended on it). You don't like buying clothes ... your husband does ... you two match. Go with it.

Did you know that they also make gel seat cushions (sort of like a chair seatcover) that you can put on top of your "improved" bicycle seat? My wife has both the ergo gel cushioned seat and a gel cushioned seat cover on top. Pure luxury.

Posted by: The Thomas at September 15, 2007 09:29 PM

My mom doesn't shop for clothes either. And when she does, it's pretty scary.

My stepdad and my sister love when I give her the clothes that I don't want anymore or don't fit.

Posted by: Sissy at September 15, 2007 09:38 PM

"un-weenie" - HAHAHA

Posted by: Morrigan at September 15, 2007 11:29 PM

I am infinitely grateful my husband doesn't buy me clothes, because he sees nothing wrong with pleated front pants or loud printed polyester. His mom and sister hogged all the good taste, so there was none left for my husband and his brother. He does, however, have good taste in music and books.

Posted by: Peggy U at September 16, 2007 02:03 AM

I hate shopping for shoes more than anything. HATE IT. I'm also disinclined to shop for clothing. Sadly, I've been needing new clothes and have been buying random clearance rack clothing the last few paychecks. I got two cute skirts yesterday. One for $8 (marked down from $40) and one for $10 (marked down from $20). and I still felt like I spent too much.

My MIL buys me clothes. I wish she wouldn't.

Posted by: wRitErsblock at September 16, 2007 08:49 AM

the Thomas- Yup, like puzzle pieces. We just seem to fit. the complimentary aspects. as for the bike seat, I haven't tried this one, but if I need to add to it, I'll look at the gel cushions. This one looks pretty cushy in all the right spots though!

Sissy- Well luckily, my taste is not too bad. Its easy when you stick with solid colors. That is key. Look in my closet and its all solid shirts to go with solid pants... unless of course my Mom bought it for me! Then it matches something...

Mo- Yeah, and for about an hour I heard about the 'un weenie'. He wouldn't let that one go.

Peggy- Most of the men I worked with at Company X were like your husband. Male engineers, typically, need garanimal tags. That goes for computer types and mathematicians too. ;-) I would probably think the world was a better place with garanimal tags too...

Writersblock- My Mom buys me GREAT clothes. She got me a really cute outfit for my birthday. Some of my cutest wear out clothes come from my Mom. I think it is odd though, that at 42, when people say to me, "Wow, I really like your blouse" and i reply, "Thanks! My Mom got it for me!"

Posted by: Bou at September 16, 2007 09:39 AM

I have totally given up on shopping for the wife, everything I buy gets returned. The only thing I buy for her that doesn't get returned comes from the Korean Grocery.

As for G-man, I have to agree with you, he always looks GQ, whether it's a casual lunch or playing golf, the man knows how to dress.


Posted by: P'Cola Titan at September 16, 2007 10:16 AM

I have only gotten clothes from my husband when he can go shopping with our daughter. LOL. Since we've now moved from Chicago I think I can safely say I will never receive clothes from him anymore... for that matter - he even forgot my birthday this year. Oh well.

Sadly I hate shopping for clothes, so mine always look tired. If I had to leave the house to work, it would be different... since I don't I don't quite get around to buying things. *sigh*

I need to do some shopping before the end of October. I must make this a priority.

Posted by: Teresa at September 16, 2007 08:32 PM

“Why in the hell would I NEED more than one pair of black sandals?”


Posted by: Quality Weenie at September 17, 2007 08:14 AM

I have trained Mr Weenie pretty good on how to shop for clothes for me and it is starting to wear off on his wardrobe also.

And it sounds like you would be a good candidate for the show "what not to wear"

Posted by: Quality Weenie at September 17, 2007 08:15 AM

I like "un-weenie." My son (3 1/2) mentions my "no-penis" now and then. Too funny!

Posted by: Marie at September 17, 2007 09:54 AM

I prefer to buy jewelry. The only clothes I have ever bought for women came from Victoria's Secret. Yes, I am a dirty old man. I used to be a dirty young man.

Your husband is a very lucky man.

Posted by: Denny at September 17, 2007 01:25 PM