September 18, 2007

Not Keen on the Beans

Gotta love the first few months of school. Colds… stomach viruses… lovely.

My eldest son got sick on Saturday night with a cold and stomach bug. No biggy… entire puke episode was ONE. You can’t beat a stomach virus like that with a sick. It’s the kind you pray for, in particular as there was no changing of sheets and washing of towels involved.

At dinner a couple nights ago, Bones said to me, “I hate green beans. I hate them so much, they are making my stomach hurt.”

Drama King.

An hour later I got, ‘Mom. Those beans made my stomach hurt! I hate Beans!”

I ignored him. To know Bones is to know that sometimes dinner brings with it some sort of drama.

That night about 9:30, I could hear Bones in the bathroom. I rushed in to find the poor kid puking dinner. Actually, as I rushed down the hall, phone in hand as I spoke to poor T1G, I slid in a small pool of puke, only to find myself standing in front of the bathroom, watching Bones, and stammering to T1G, ‘OH! I gotta go! Bones is puking! Bye!”


He had it all over his hands, all over his face as he’d been sleeping when it started. I hate it when that happens… puking in your sleep. My kids seem to be the master of Sleep Hurling. I only remember doing that as an adult… when drunk.

Anyway, I quickly got next to him, grabbed tissues and started to wipe his nose, rub his back, and speak quietly to him, telling him it would be OK, when he looked at me with bug eyes and said quite loudly, “WHAT DID I EAT?!!!”

I looked in the toilet and said, “Well, Dude, that would be spare ribs and steamed green beans.”

Bones: It was the beans! It was the beans that did it to me!

Great. I have spent all these years fighting over getting them to eat steamed green beans and we have now just taken a HUGE step backwards. Now every time I serve them, it will not only be, “MOOoooom. I Haaaate Those!” it will be, ‘Mom! NO! Green beans make me PUKE!”


Posted by Boudicca at September 18, 2007 08:33 PM | TrackBack

"Mom! NO! Green beans make me PUKE!” strange this sounds somewhat familiar.

Posted by: guess who at September 18, 2007 09:41 PM

I was waiting for one of you to come up with this. Heh.

Posted by: Bou at September 18, 2007 09:46 PM

Haha, I think I've said said something similar to Mo before.

"Ewww, no, I hate those! They'll make me puke!"

Poor kid! Just suck it up, he doesn't like green beans ;-)

Posted by: Sissy at September 18, 2007 09:53 PM

How about: "Cole slaw makes me puke!" Does THAT sound familiar???? Huh?

Posted by: Angus of Lochalin at September 18, 2007 10:07 PM

The only thing that does that to me is bad ice.

Posted by: Jimbo - PRS at September 19, 2007 02:27 AM

I didn't eat grilled cheese sandwiches for years after getting stomach virus and puking it up. But I just had one of those sandwiches yesterday. hmmmm... guess you don't want to wait years for him to green beans... tell him it gives you really smelly farts.

Posted by: vw bug at September 19, 2007 05:33 AM

Sissy- He likes to eat the little beans out of the long green part, but I think that is more a fascination of picking it out and popping it in his mouth. I think we have even lost that now. Dammit.

Dad- There is just something frickin' NASTY in cole slaw. It makes my salivary glands go in overtime. Same thing with Sauerkraut. Good God, get me a bucket. It's different than beans though. Beans are GOOD FOR YOU. Cole Slaw is man made and full of fat and nastiness. BIG differencce. Really. Heh.

Jimbo- I'm hoping the boys don't discover bad ice for another 15 years or so. ;-)

VW- the fart thing works with T. He's all about eating foods that will gas out his brothers like... "Don't make me mad or I'll drink a glass of milk!" Bones... well he doesn't see that yet. It's not his weapon of choice. His is... just being Bones I think. :)

Posted by: Bou at September 19, 2007 05:59 AM

I don't know about beans being so great. I once spent a long weekend in the bathroom exploding out both ends due to a bad batch of homemade pork and beans. (OK, maybe it was the undercooked pork in 5-day old leftover beans). Either way, I haven't touched them since....

Posted by: George at September 19, 2007 08:06 AM

for RTY it was meatballs. She was sick once and that had been dinner. She swore it was the meat balls and refused to eat them. Grandma doesn't help as she enforces all wives tales and would then offer to cook something else. No, this is not a restaurant. And if it had been the meatballs, we would have all been puking that night.

she tried to convince us she was a vegetarian for a week or two. Now I love to torture her with a packet of tofu at the grocery store. Here, we can buy you this for dinner. She always backs away in fear. (don't know if she's ever had tofu. certainly not something she would find in our house, but perhaps at the egg donor's house)

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at September 19, 2007 08:32 AM

George- Good God. Pork and beans is a death wish for me anyway. Bad pork and beans? Just frickin' SHOOT me.

Writersblock- I like tofu if it is deep fried. ;-) I think that defeats the purpose, however, of healthy eating. It's not a restaurant here either, but damn if Bones doesn't try to convince me it is, on nearly a daily basis. It's that or 'Let's make a deal'. I refuse to play. He is still hopeful.

Posted by: Bou at September 19, 2007 08:36 AM

Stupid green beans. Give the poor kid red meat and be done with it! :)

Posted by: Ogre at September 19, 2007 08:56 AM

Green beans? Making Bones puke? I don't believe it.

Everyone knows beans are excellent for Cardiac Health. They're good for your heart.

Except maybe the green ones.

Maybe it was the ribs...

Posted by: Elisson at September 19, 2007 09:06 AM

For my husband, it was Sugar Frosted Flakes and lime KoolAid which he ingested and barfed up on a camping trip. He still won't touch anything lime.

I am wary of hot dogs, having had more than one bad experience with them. The latest was a few years back when the two oldest kids and I had hot dogs at an Orange Julius at the mall. We were up playing pass the bucket until the sun came up.

However the best one of all was when our second son drank about a gallon of red Gatorade. I awoke to puking noises at 3 am. Why did he use our bathroom instead of theirs? I am guessing he was on his way to tell us he was going to puke, and stopped short to accomplish the deed instead.

Our bathroom was a little 3/4 bath with a pocket door. I got the boy some clean pajamas and sent him back to bed, then surveyed the bathroom. There was Gatorade dripping from the shower door, sink cabinet, walls, pocket door, and even some on the ceiling. It was like he must have spun in a circle and just - spewed! The toilet, however, was pristine! So I went and got the Lysol and a bunch of paper towels and the mop.

The absurdity of the situation got me laughing, and between laughing and reflexively retching, I proceeded to commit an hour of sleep time to janitorial work. At one point my husband came to find out what was going on, said "Whatever.", and went back to bed. Why is it I was the one holding the mop and not him? That is a jointly owned kid; I should have left my husband's half unmopped, rather than deprive him of this parenting event.

Oh well. The boy looked fine, all sparkly eyed and energetic, the next morning. I, however, was feeling kind of groggy and upchucky. Didn't do it though, because I know I'd only have to clean it up myself.

Posted by: Peggy U at September 19, 2007 11:30 AM

Oh poor Bones. And poor you too. We have only been hit with one (very mild) stomach virus since school started. But I know it's coming...

I hope everybody is feeling better at your house!

Posted by: Richmond at September 19, 2007 01:44 PM

Puking is so much better when Mom is there to hold your head and wipe your nose. That's what sucks about being a grownup. Moms don't so that for you anymore.

Posted by: Denny at September 19, 2007 10:18 PM

Poor kid! I think since this time he will never eat green beans.

Posted by: Paul at September 21, 2007 04:49 AM