September 25, 2007

Job Perks

Good grief, it is love bug season. Jimbo has written of these nasty but harmless little bugs and it made me laugh. Northerners donít get lovebugs. Those of us in Florida do and they, although harmless, are a real pain in the neck.

You know you may be in central Florida during lovebug season when you get into your hotel room, on the fifth floor, and you notice a lovebug circling the light.

How in the HELL did that bug get INTO the hotel and ONTO the fifth floor and INTO my room?

They mustíve been a hitchhiker which means I carried that sucker into my room with me. Or someone else did and it was roaming the halls until I opened my door.

As I was riding home I noticed one in my car. When I got gas, I had some sort of mental lapse and left my door open while I pumped. One of them made their way into my car. If one can find its way into my hotel room on the fifth floor, then surely one can just fly through an open car door.

So here I was barreling down the turnpike at 80 mph when I realized I had a lovebug in my car, and I rolled the window down hoping it would get sucked out.

I told my boys these stories and upon hearing the fifth floor hotel room lovebug story, Bones said, ĎWell? Did you kill it?í

Me: NO! I donít kill bugs. Thatís why I have a husband and three boys. I donít kill bugsÖ Itís a boy-Mom perk.

Bones, looking at his brothers: Girls donít like to touch bugs and they definitely donít like bug guts on their hands.

Me: Right. Besides, thatís what I have yíall for.


Posted by Boudicca at September 25, 2007 08:13 PM | TrackBack

Funny you should mention this: The girl I carpool with regaled me with a doozy today, if you don't mind bug porn. She removed what she described as an "albino spider" from her windshield, and, very ungirly-like, held it in the napkin and squished it, after which, the large albino spider delivered a bug-juice-cum-shot-of-death upon her face, nose, and very close to her mouth. Ick! This is why, I believe, it is always best to have men take care of bugs, and one must never, ever, ever kill spiders.

Posted by: Erica at September 25, 2007 09:54 PM

We get box elder bugs up north. Harmless, but unless you want to try and squash thousands it's no use trying to kill them. For a few weeks in the fall they are a total nuisance.

Posted by: Teresa at September 25, 2007 10:44 PM

Would you kindly care to talk to my brood? I am the bug blaster around these parts. The men at my house don't understand their obligations. My sissy boys just can't stand the sight of a spider, especially if it's in the bathroom. Even their dad gets squeamish if it has eight legs and is bigger than a pencil point. No ... I'm the lucky one who gets to deal with the insects and arachnids. It just isn't fair!

Up here in Washington, we get slugs and crane flies. In case you don't have crane flies, they look like ginormous mosquitoes. They don't suck blood - they just suck as life forms. They only live for a few days as adults, and during that time they mate like crazy. They get into the house, bump around on the ceiling and look for other crane flies to hook up with. Sometimes they have stupid crane fly orgies. They are too dumb to move when you swat at them. Also, they are very slow moving and easily squashed. I guess they probably get eaten and killed by the millions, so they have to make up for it by being breeding machines. If one gets in your hair, you can't remove it without squashing it - they are so fragile. And yet annoying.

Slugs are much sturdier, and less inclined to end up in your hair. Unless someone puts one there, and that is a really rude thing to do to a person. This evening, there were several sizeable ones on the walkway in front of the house. One of them looked kind of flat and juicier than normal. Obviously, he'd been stepped on. You don't ever want to tread on one while barefoot. The slime is amazingly difficult to remove from your skin.

"All things dull and ugly, all creatures short and squat
All things rude and nasty, the Lord God made the lot ... "

Posted by: Peggy U at September 26, 2007 02:27 AM

Erica-... that was disgusting. I actually felt myself pull away from the computer screen, grimace and put my hand to my face. That is just frickin' Nasty. N-A-S-T-Y. Gah. And to think I still have breakfast coming this morning. No. Blech. Ick.

Teresa- Like those box elder bugs, lovebugs are just a nuisance. its not like roaches. Roaches bring my diaphragm up into my throat.

Peggy- Oh I've seen those bugs! They are wispy like... flying ghost bugs. they look like if you touch them they'll disintegrate. I was wondering what those are called. And yeah, no thanks. Love bugs pretty much stay outside. They mate like crazy, but they're outside bugs.

We don't get slugs, but I've lived in places that did and slugs are the big ick. My bro in law gets snails and if you don't watch where you walk at dusk or night, you'll hear a POP! as one crushes under you. The boys like to put them right under the tires right before we leave. Ick.

Posted by: Bou at September 26, 2007 06:44 AM

I've had several love bugs in my car. And when I was mowing on Sunday, the entire side of my house was swarming with them. Ugh.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at September 26, 2007 08:43 AM

I posted a while back about my husbands inability to kill a bug. He has to do this little "i don't know what you use" dance and by the time he is done the bug is long gone. I need a new husband. Everyone else's model is more features that mine.

Posted by: Lukie at September 26, 2007 11:41 AM

LOL on the snails! Slugs that go "crunch"! I guess the difference between slugs and snails is sort of like the difference between plain and peanut M&M's. Although, M&M's won't crawl out of the candy dish.

Posted by: Peggy U at September 26, 2007 04:44 PM