September 27, 2007

Mammary Mania?

Maybe I should just rename this blog, Boudicca’s Breast? I mean, could I possibly do anymore breast blogging? I think it surely must be worse than cat blogging.

I got an email from someone the other day saying something like, ‘I thought you might be interested in this opportunity since you are a Mom blog.’ I thought, “Hunh, I’m a Mom, blog? I thought I was a blog written by a woman, who happened to have three boys.” I blog on work, my kids, my life, the things I notice around me, the crazy crap that runs through my head. Now, I think I’m a breast blog. Maybe my tagline should be, “All breasts, all the time.”

So last night we were sitting at dinner and I said to my husband, ‘Can you believe it? Piece of cake. No swelling, no bruising, no pain. It must be my superior healing powers…”

This is a persistent joke between the two of us, who has the superior immune system, who has the superior genetics, etc., etc. As of now, I win the superior immune system award. Being in our mid-40s, everything else is truly up for grabs, although with my being in health purgatory right now, he may be winning the ‘superior aging race’.

Anyway, his reply to me was, “Hey, watch it, you sound awfully familiar, like some guy who had a vasectomy and thought he was all great until he over did it.”

A little background here, my husband had a vasectomy about seven years ago. I felt… more than appreciative. We didn’t want any more children and we fall amongst the blessed where we seemed to not be able to prevent it, and this was a good solution, but not something I would ever have asked of him. It was something HE needed to decide because if something didn’t go right, I didn’t want to be held accountable… I didn’t want to be a source of resentment. So I was appreciative, grateful, thankful… apprehensive as I didn’t want him in any pain. I may have had three children, but I love my husband and I would NEVER wish pain upon him. I don’t get women who say, ‘Oh he DESERVES THIS! I went through all that labor! He gets what he gets!” What? What kind of marriage is that? Not a very long and happy one… I assure you.

So, there we were with a 1, 3, and 5 year old and he had an appointment. In general, I took my little people out as little as possible. It’s a pain in the neck to putz around town with three small children. But since he was having this procedure, I decided the next day, I’d take the kids to lunch, to the zoo, putz around town ALL DAY and give him time to lounge around the house… alone… and in peace… and heal.

A quiet day at the house when you have three young children? UNHEARD OF. I assure you.

I called him from my cell at one point to find… he was at the mall exchanging something. He met us for lunch. I came home after a day at the zoo and found, he’d run errands, cleaned the house and made dinner. Holy crap. So much for lounging around the house.

The next day… he was not in good shape. He felt good that day after, but two days after? It totally caught up with him. It was a disaster.

So that was what he was alluding to when he said, “…you sound awfully familiar…” as in you only THINK you feel great…. JUST WAIT.

I laughed when he said that and said, “HOW does one OVER TAX a breast?” Hello? They just kind of travel with me. They are supported so there is no gravitational pull. They just sit there… out front. Doing nothing. Two blobs of fat that don’t do anything… they just… hang.

Needless to say, I’m still fine today. I think there may be a small amount of internal swelling, but tomorrow will be day two and I’ll know more then. But for now? Not a problem.

Posted by Boudicca at September 27, 2007 08:34 PM | TrackBack

I have to preface this by saying: I am not a lesbian and do not particularly get off on female groodies, but with all the talk of your boobages lately, I hope you could forgive me, when we finally meet, should my eyes, quite innocently, avert from yours and fall to that part of your body. I should also stop cracking up from the words "Boudicca's Breast," possibly in the next couple of hours. Mercy, tickled me silly, it did.

Posted by: Erica at September 27, 2007 09:19 PM

Oh well, three more weeks and I meet you. Hey, I'll show you my scar! (ummm... without totally exposing myself... I'm kind of over the boob exposure) heh heh! I bet you can hardly wait for that one!

Posted by: Bou at September 27, 2007 09:23 PM

ROTFL... "They just sit there… out front. Doing nothing"... bwa hahahah...

Posted by: vw bug at September 28, 2007 05:25 AM


You are a riot! BTW, Re:Erica's comment, I do have the self-discipline to maintain eye contact with you should we ever meet. :)


Posted by: GEO6 at September 28, 2007 07:31 AM

ROTFL!!! Too funny. Oh and you have to go over to Dazed, he has the perfect cartoon to go with your post.

Posted by: Lemon Stand at September 28, 2007 01:52 PM

Heh. When my hubby got his vasectomy he specifically asked the doc if he could golf right away. The answer? NO!!!, of course... Guess who walked 9 holes two days later anyway. (And then sat around with frozen veggies on his "package" for the next week or so...

I *tried* to tell him. Heh.

And though I would never wish him pain, there was some eye rolling. Oh - and he didn't appreciate my offer to teach him Lamaze breathing in lieu of anesthetic either. Go figure... ;^)

Posted by: Richmond at September 28, 2007 03:28 PM

VW- Well they do! Mostly!

Geo6- Ahh yes, but that is due to your vast worldly experience. ;-) Heh. You know better!

Lemon Stand- Holy crap. That is GREAT!!!

Richmond- OK, your husband wins in the accidental infliction of way too much pain after a vasectomy. There is nothing natural about a golf swing and all the tension and forces it puts all over one's body. Good Lord!! But yeah, he was laid up for a couple days after. I did get a really clean house and dinner... but I did feel bad. It wasn't worth it. ;-)

Posted by: Bou at September 28, 2007 03:38 PM

Bou- you are right in one aspect, I can't control the initial thought that would cross my mind but I can control what my eyes lock on to. Comes with age. :)

Posted by: GEO6 at September 28, 2007 07:10 PM