September 27, 2007

Differing Definitions of "Big Ticket Items"

I got a call yesterday while driving to the surgeon’s office that I had my yearly dermatologist appointment today. I’m just hitting them all this month, properly planned mind you, it’s my birth month.

I know my dermatologist very well and we laugh… a lot. I suspect he thinks I’m a nut.

He walked in and said, “Bou! What’s up? How are the boys?”

And I replied, ‘I am losing my hair. Is this something I talk to you about? I think maybe it’s a vitamin deficiency. Maybe a trace mineral… If I take supplements will my hair come back?”

He just stood there with a contemplative expression on his face. “Why do you think it is a vitamin or mineral deficiency?”

And so I explained a current health digestive issue I have and some tests going on and he listened to me, obviously thinking. Finally he said “Bou, how much hair does your Dad have?”

Me: He’s bald.

Doctor: And brothers? Do you have brothers? And how much hair?

Me: I have a younger brother. He is losing his hair.

Doctor: I don’t think it is a mineral or vitamin deficiency. I think its something called… genetics.

He said to me, “Any crash dieting?”

I looked down at my body and back at him and said, “Phht, hardly”.

Please, I was wearing a big piece of paper. Did I LOOK like there had been crash dieting? NO.

He shook his head and said simply, “Genetics”.

Crap. I really really wanted it to be mineral or vitamin. I said, “I’m going to be a bald old lady” to which he replied, “No, but your hair will definitely be thin.”

So encouraging. Once again, some days I feel so damn sexy I can hardly stand myself.

We got to my skin and he said, “You are having a rosacea problem AGAIN.”

I looked at him, crinkled up my nose and forehead and said, “Phht. This looks GOOD!”

He replied, “Oh boy. We need to put you back on antibiotics. Look, do you have any stress in your life?”

I countered, ‘Anti-biotics. Will it make my hair fall out more?”

Somewhat exasperated but jokingly he replied, “NO. It will make MORE hair grow. Stress. Do you have stress in your life?”

Wow, that’s interesting.

I countered, ‘Well, other than the breast biopsy yesterday (which he knew about because he’s my dermatologist and white meat is sometimes exposed in his office) and the digestive issue we’re trying to track down and…”

Doctor: OK, well, beyond health issues. Any stress?

Me: I have three boys.

Doctor: I’m talking big ticket items here, I mean like death of a family member.

Luckily I said NO to that. Evidently stress has also been ruled out to hair loss. It appears it is… genetics. Health issues and having three sons are not big ticket stress items. You could have fooled me…

Posted by Boudicca at September 27, 2007 08:41 PM | TrackBack

This shaved-headed fella ain't *losing* his hair. When I lose things, I usually try to look for them. :)

Posted by: Toluca Nole at September 27, 2007 09:03 PM

Heh. Sorry. And we all like your shaved head. There was awhile where that is all Ringo wanted, was to have his head like yours. now I want to tell him, "Keep your hair, because one day you won't have any... Genetics! Genetics! Genetics!" ;-)

And did you notice how he never asked about Morrigan or Mom? They were irrelevant. It was you and Dad. Great.

Posted by: Bou at September 27, 2007 09:18 PM

Boys aren't stress items? He's never met Arthur. Perhaps I should Fed Ex him a little house guest. We'll see how much hair your dermatologist has in, oh, a year. Hair falling out happens a while after the stress that caused it. By that time, Arthur would be safe and sound back home and our follicles would have had a vacation.

Posted by: Peggy U at September 27, 2007 10:29 PM

3 boys not a big ticket stress item? pulease. My bathroom floor is covered with my hair. I could weave a rug.

Posted by: sticks at September 28, 2007 06:37 AM

Peggy and Sticks- I'm not getting it. Next time I see him I'm going to ask him if he has kids and then I'll ask him how many boys. He has a full head of hair. Then again, if he has kids, its probably his WIFE that is losing her hair. He's at work all the time, dealing with headcases like me giving him the history of the Murdering Campbells. Oh but that's a whole other post... ;-)

Posted by: Bou at September 28, 2007 10:19 AM

Darn, I guess I am really going to go semi bald as the genetics is there in my family too.

As for boys not being big ticket stress items? Pfffttt!

Although it is not limited to only boys. We have four very ::cough:: lovely and well behaved ::snort:: daughters. Try a house where 4 of the five females are PMSing at any given time and the one who isn't is whining. Meanwhile our 16 year old (who's going on 30) whom you are teaching to drive (don't try this at home if you wish to keep sane) has a lead foot, a harder brake foot and let us not forget the whiplash turns. (what do you mean I don't get points if I leave the left shoe on the pedestrian? She made it to the other side, didn't she?) The other three daughters have me wanting to pull out what little hair I have (in time with the soundtrack to Pirates of the Carribean 3) with the 'she looked at me wrong' and 'she hit me first'.

Oh yeah, Motherhood is definitely NOT a stress filled job. ::laughing hysterically:: Either your doctor does not have kids or he doesn't see them often.

Personally? I'd vote him off the island. :oP

Posted by: Lemon Stand at September 28, 2007 01:43 PM

Kids?? Stressful?? Nah....

::rolls eyes::

::eyes pop out from over rolling::

Posted by: Richmond at September 28, 2007 03:21 PM

well, there is always one of those Dolly Parton wigs

Posted by: GUYK at September 28, 2007 06:27 PM

Heheheh... Guy!

Oh, and what's this crap about boys being stressful? I can tell you, in near honesty, that my sister was the hellion in our little family. The root of all troubles.

At least, to us angelic boys...


Posted by: That 1 Guy at September 29, 2007 09:48 AM