September 28, 2007

Bob the Tomato and a Trenchcoat



Anyway, I woke up this morning and HAD to get those frickin’ steri strips off that hole. I’m one of those people that will pick at things. That snowflake over the biopsy hole was making me nuts. So about 8:00AM I took it off.

Then remembered I was going running.

And realized, “Wow, if that hole pops open while I’m running… that’s going to SUCK.”

So I went into the kids’ bathroom and got a small band aid to cover the puncture wound. Bob the Tomato from Veggie Tales was the only small one we had left. So I left for the gym with a Bob the Tomato band aid stuck to my right breast.

A month or so ago, some article came out that said that on average a woman’s breasts move 8 inches when she runs. Interesting. I call bull shit on that. EIGHT inches? Please. If anyone had over a C cup they’d either have black eyes or would nearly asphyxiate during the ‘up’ bounce. But I am here to tell you, there is some movement, as I started to run I realized… “Hmm… Bob the Tomato band aids were not made to hold puncture wounds closed. That’s what those frickin’ steri strips were for… that I HAD to remove. And Bob the Tomato is not big enough to hold all the potential blood that could seep forth should said wound open.”

I made it one mile and decided, “OK. I’m done. I’ll ride my bike instead.”

I got home and showered, taking off Bob the Tomato as I do have some shame, believe it or not, and showing up to my Dr’s appointment with a Bob the Tomato band aid adhered to my right breast did not exactly exude refinement and class.

When I got to my appointment, I had to wait a bit, which kind of drew it all out even more. But once I was called back, he shook my hand, took me into the room and said, ‘It was a standard fibroid (something or other) completely benign…’ then he took that little paper shirt thing and said, “Put this on and I’ll come back and have a look.”

I stood there and said, “Wait. Why. It’s not bruised. Just close the door” and I motioned him to close the door.

Keep in mind, just two days ago, the man had my breast in his hand for TWENTY minutes and we are going to worry about a white paper shirt now? Please. I don't understand the practicality in that.

He started to laugh, closed the door and I said, “Look” and I opened the v-neck of my shirt, pulling it down, pulled aside my bra, (because you know… I’m all about refinement and class) and said, “I’m healed. No bruising. No swelling. Putting that paper shirt on is a waste… why bother? It only hurt when I went running this morning.”

He said, “You went running?! Yeah, that’s going to hurt. You may want to hold off on that a little longer…”

Phht. No kidding.

And with that he said, “OK, see you in six months”, shook my hand and I left. Piece of cake.

Only six more months until I have to expose myself again. I need a trench coat.

Posted by Boudicca at September 28, 2007 08:56 PM | TrackBack

Although I am usually saracastic, all I can say to this post is Thank God. I am so happy for you, G and the boys..


Posted by: P'cola Titan at September 28, 2007 09:20 PM

I just got back from the annual music thing the company my husband works for puts on every year. As usual it was fabulous beyond words and yet I kept thinking... I have to check Bou's when I get back home!

YAY! Not that I was worried mind you... but YAY!

Posted by: Teresa at September 28, 2007 11:09 PM

Wonderful news, Bou.

Oh, and you might want to also stay from rope skipping and accordion playing for a week or so.

Posted by: Jim - PRS at September 29, 2007 03:03 AM

Great news!!! You should have left the bandaid... I'm sure it would have been "the talk" for weeks. ;-)

Posted by: vw bug at September 29, 2007 05:50 AM

YAY! Wonderful news! :D

Your physician must be a great guy; I've tried to get doctors to do that, but always end up thinking they must be in a conspiracy with the paper garment cabal. ;)

Posted by: pam at September 29, 2007 06:39 AM

Yeah. I'm glad everything turned out well.

Posted by: sticks at September 29, 2007 07:09 AM

Yea for You!!!

And you should have just used a little super glue, and glued it shut. Then no worry about it popping open and blood squirting out.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at September 29, 2007 08:56 AM

Wonderful news!!

Posted by: Richmond at September 29, 2007 09:21 AM

Good news!

Posted by: GUYK at September 29, 2007 09:28 AM

So glad to hear it! Been pulling for you.

Posted by: GEO6 at September 29, 2007 10:28 AM

Yay! I'm glad to hear this news. But you might want to keep a bottle of superglue handy...those eight inches of bounce can be really tough.

Posted by: Mrs. Who at September 29, 2007 10:55 AM

Eight inches of bounce?!

Two words: Duct tape. ;)

Seriously, I'm relieved and happy for you and your family. Thank God...

Posted by: Bitterroot at September 29, 2007 11:13 AM

SOOO glad to hear the good news! Don't forget that you, Mrs Who and I will meet every six months. I wish I could say that the meeting involved an alcoholic beverage but in truth it is to remind each other to make another boob adventure appointment. :oP

Posted by: Lemon Stand at September 29, 2007 02:32 PM

Yay! Boobs and Blogcrawls! This Blogcrawl is starting to look up.

Posted by: Peter at September 29, 2007 07:59 PM

Exposing yourself and a blog crawl... interesting...

Posted by: vw bug at September 29, 2007 08:06 PM

Well, it is the bad example family.

Posted by: sticks at September 29, 2007 08:29 PM

How did I not comment on this? Mazel tov on the good news. I do believe Elisson needs to create you a Golden Groodie Award, created from a mold of your boob, and adorned with Mardi Gras beads.

Posted by: Erica at September 29, 2007 08:34 PM

Bou... I have some chocolate vodka here for you. Come on over! VW can drive.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at September 29, 2007 08:42 PM

That is a relief! Congratulations! Still, you probably can use this as an excuse to buy a cute trenchcoat. I would.

Posted by: Peggy U at September 30, 2007 01:31 PM

Did someone say "chocolate vodka?"

Posted by: Jimbo - PRS at September 30, 2007 03:59 PM

Glad you're ok. Hey, when my sister had a biopsy the spot where they romoved the fibriod filled with fluid and she had those funny "swish" sounds like you get when you drink too much water. :) Just something for you to look forward to.

Posted by: Jody at September 30, 2007 08:47 PM