October 19, 2007

Fine Tuning the 'Druther Dies'

I heard this from my sister, who heard this from one of her best girlfriends, who heard it from her Mom who heard it from MY Mom.

Get that?

Morrigan and I can’t quit laughing at this.

It would appear that Pensacola was hit by some tornados yesterday. And TGOO was at Wal-Mart picking up a couple items when the severe weather hit.

And so there he was at the check out line, when over the Wal-Mart intercom, a voice told the customers that there was a severe weather alert and they were to move to the center of the store and far away from the windows and doors.

TGOO said he thought, and I swear this is the quote, “Screw that. If I’m going to die, it’s not going to be in Wal-Mart” so he checked out, grabbed his stuff and walked to the door where he was stopped by a Wal-Mart employee who said, “Sir, you need to stay away from the doors” to which he replied, “I’m leaving.”

To which the employee said, ‘Oh, OK’ and TGOO proceeded to walk into the pouring rain out to his Jeep. Said Jeep was now standing in 8 inches of water.

Keep in mind that TGOO doesn’t ‘shop’. He’s a very goal oriented person. This is the man, that if y’all recall, keeps our meals planned for the week we visit, in an EXCEL spreadsheet, complete with corresponding grocery list items for the meals, and one does NOT deviate from the plan. You must ask six months in advance for an evening to cook because… it is planned six months in advance. So he has his list of exactly what he needs at the store, checks it off, does not deviate and leaves.

He was in there for, what, ten minutes? And his Jeep was already in 8 inches of water?

He was wearing his work boots and jeans and said he waded out to the car in spots, having water halfway to his knees at times, and got in his Jeep and left.

I said, “So did you see any tornados?” and he replied, “Hell no. Those were 10 miles away in Downtown. But I wasn’t going to die with all those people in Wal-Mart. I’d rather die in my car.”


Then he briefly went on about how Wal-Marts are built with their aluminum roofs and how that was the last place he’d want to be in a tornado. And he couldn't imagine being dead and having someone say, "Oh, he died in Wal-Mart." I can't quit laughing at that. He has a point.

You know… its all about priorities and preferences. I’ve said to people before, I have NO DESIRE to fall 30,000 feet out of the sky, hence my intense dislike of flying. TGOO has just kind of refined his ‘druther not dies’. Wal-Mart made his list.

Makes me laugh…

Morrigan sent me this YOUtube video of the tornado and she received it from a friend who got it from another friend of ours. Language alert. Very very cool though… I’ve never seen a tornado before and I’m content to just watch one on Youtube.

Posted by Boudicca at October 19, 2007 09:12 PM | TrackBack

I also would not want to die in a wal mart.
Very low risk for that, though, as I may be inside a wal mart once a year, if even that often, and that's too frequent.

Posted by: wRitErsblock at October 19, 2007 10:01 PM

Yaa. We were at Disney and at some point I noticed a voice mail... my mom had called to say the Tornados P'cola had not been in her area. Ugh...

Posted by: vw bug at October 20, 2007 06:09 AM

I love TGOO and I've never even met him... Has he thought of a snorkel for his Jeep? ;)

Posted by: pam at October 20, 2007 08:15 AM

Holy crap! TGOO sounds like my dad...

I was worried for your folks when I heard about the tornados there. My friend Roses had a tornado scare with her folks up here - though all is well with them too, thank goodness... Just property damage.

Posted by: Richmond at October 20, 2007 03:33 PM

I think that just suffering the indignity of having to huddle in the middle of a Wal-Mart with a bunch of Wal-Mart shoppers would be considered a Near Death Experience.

I think I would have done the same thing that TGOO did. Oh, and you gotta love the commitment of that guy at the door!

"Get away from the doors! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!"
"Screw that, I'm leaving."
"Oh, okay then." :D

Posted by: Bitterroot at October 20, 2007 03:41 PM