November 23, 2007

A New Political Plight?

We were in the car yesterday taking the kids to see The Bee Movie. I try to get the kids out of the house for a couple hours while Thanksgiving dinner is being prepared here. The house is quiet and Mom can do her thing without the chaos my family brings with it. Plus, she’s so organized any time I say, ‘Can I help?’ the answer is ‘No thank you!’ (She did much preparation the night before.)

Morrigan was sitting in the back with the boys, her husband, Flam, and my brother.

Somehow we got onto the topic of Mo’s very neurotic cat, ESPY. (Can you tell my sister is a sports fan?) And somehow I brought up about the new neuter/spade laws in Palm Beach County and then something about California’s law. Then something came up about what is done to make sure cats don’t have kittens.

And really… I don’t know what happened. All I know is with each question, Morrigan would offer up an explanation that would go just a bit deeper down that path of reproduction.

All the other adults in the vehicle saw it coming.

Every now and then Bones would come up with a question that I could completely see it taking a Birds and the Bees turn, with all of us in the vehicle, and I’d shoot her a look of, “It’s coming!”

Bones is the only one not in the know. The other boys got the gouge. Not him. He’s only 8. And on a side note, yes, I still think something seems kind of odd with the fact that my two older boys knew about sex while still believing in Santa. There is something just a bit odd about that… kind of twisted.

Anyway, I think all the adults had made the command decision on their own that if Morrigan ended up with a sex question from Bones, she was flat out on her own. Nobody was bailing her out. I was just going to turn around, raise an eyebrow and watch.

Well… except my husband, who informed me later he would have bailed her out by changing the topic, but I can see that. This is the man that pleads the 5th whenever the boys ask him a question. I appear to be Dr. Ruth in our family.

In a younger body.

So barreling down the road I finally heard it. Bones said to her, “So, do cats do it the way Moms and Dads do?”

Silence. It was the moment of truth and she was frickin’ ON HER OWN. I didn’t even look back. All adults just stared ahead. In my head, I was thinking, “What? Does he KNOW? HOW does he KNOW?”

Morrigan replied, “Why, yes, they do…”

I think I inhaled all the damn oxygen in the asexual mom-mobile at that point and held it all in my lungs.

Bones sat for a moment and then countered with, “So cats get married like Moms and Dads? You have to get married before you have kids…”

And Morrigan paused and said, “Yesss… cat marriage….”

So now Bones thinks cats get married.

I noticed the other two boys were silent during this entire thing. The entire scene played out with them as spectators. I’ll have to get their take on it one day…

But, the thing is, it is perfectly fine for him to think cat marriage for now. I’m cool with that. It’s like my boys believing for years that all those animals were just being friendly and giving each other piggy back rides.


I’m fine with that.

But eventually, this little tidbit of information he has gathered this ‘cat marriage’ will present itself at an inopportune time… and THAT is what I’m waiting for.

The proverbial shoe to… drop. Hearing about cat and dog marriages around other people who will give me a blank look that really reads, “what in the hell are you teaching your kids?!”

Dogs and Cats, living together… Mass hysteria…


Posted by Boudicca at November 23, 2007 09:53 PM | TrackBack

ROFLMAO! Your boys are priceless. Poor Mo!

Posted by: Mrs. Who at November 23, 2007 10:56 PM

So what if a cat marries a dog

Posted by: Sissy at November 23, 2007 11:09 PM

My boys have never asked about sex. I sure hope they're not saving it all up for one big group discussion. I've had questions about black holes, automatic transmissions, roller blading on ice, how cats can eat things covered in fur, how to make peanut brittle ... but never a sex question. Maybe they are getting this information off of their friends? Now that is a scary thought.

Posted by: Peggy U at November 24, 2007 02:48 AM

That is just tooo funny. I can see Bones using that as part of his comedy act when he gets older.

Posted by: vw bug at November 24, 2007 06:52 AM

Cat marriage... beautiful, Mo! Heheheheh...

And just so you know, Bou, just from the title, I was already heading towards the Murray quote immediately after reading the cat marriage thing. Heh.

I'm still laughing my ass off...

Posted by: That 1 Guy at November 24, 2007 01:34 PM

Hey I am pretty good at the "talk". I just had it with my son a few days ago. It was so much fun watching him squirm with each new bit of information that I gave him. He got me back, of course, with is parking lot question. The talk can actually be quite fun for the parents if they do it right. Plus as a bonus I think I have finally figured out how to get him to keep his hands off himself.

Posted by: Lukie at November 24, 2007 04:13 PM

Heheheheheheeee... And really - the other boys take on things will be PRICELESS!

Posted by: Richmond at November 24, 2007 06:49 PM

I've read that the divorce rate among cats it at an all-time high.

Maybe it's a poverty thing.

Posted by: Jim - PRS at November 25, 2007 05:26 AM