December 04, 2007

ZigZag, Not Just for Sewing Machines Anymore

I live in a neighborhood that has a little newsletter. It usually talks about things that are going to affect our neighborhood, like a development going in next door, water, or security.

I received this month’s newsletter today and it had a little tidbit that I could not help but condense and show you here, in particular for Jim of Parkway Rest Stop.

It is entitled: … ON THE GATOR PATROL and subtitled, Who you gonna call?

It opens with “Having trouble with a nuisance gator? Apparently some residents are, and they are worried about the safety of their children.”

It continues, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, repeated calls to Palm Beach County Animal Care & Control…. Blah, blah, blah, blah, no one came out to remove a gator described as a 10 – footer from the lake at the rear of their properties…”

Hmmm. I do believe I blogged on that sucker. Mmm, here was the picture and here was the post.

It goes on with who to call and how it is illegal to shoot a gator. And the following is what got me to chuckling, as I seriously doubt that any neighborhood newsletter in New Jersey contains the following paragraph,

“If, by chance, you do come upon a gator and it begins to chase you, run away as quickly as you can in a zigzag pattern on a diagonal with steps about 10 feet in one direction, then 20 feet in the other direction away from the reptile. While gators are pretty quick in a straight line, they don’t change directions very well.”

No kidding. This was in our newsletter. Two thoughts popped into my head. The first was, “Serpentine! Serpentine!” which is a line from a movie and the second was, “Oh, Jim will frickin’ LOVE this!”

Heh.

Posted by Boudicca at December 4, 2007 10:04 PM | TrackBack
Comments

Serpentine! Serpentine! is from Cars. Yep, I've seen it a few too many times.

As for running from the gator in a diagonal zig-zag... Well, what do you say to that?

Posted by: Jody at December 4, 2007 11:04 PM

Ha, that is freaking funny

Posted by: Sissy at December 4, 2007 11:06 PM

I can just imagine such a paragraph following a discussion of an upcoming cake sale or a report on the most recent quilting club meeting. Good grief.

I think, in my case, zigging and zagging would be particularly difficult while simultaneously shitting in my pants.

Posted by: Jim - PRS at December 5, 2007 02:24 AM

I notice they don't mention climbing. Of course that would require you to climb high enough that it couldn't do a quick grab... and I don't think Florida (particularly in housing developments) have trees big enough to climb!

Posted by: vw bug at December 5, 2007 06:22 AM

They also don't tell you what to do if the gator goes in a straight line and you "meet" it at some point in your zigging and zagging.

Posted by: Teresa at December 5, 2007 11:11 AM

Serpentine! Serpentine! is also a line from the original version of "The In-Laws", the version starring Peter Falk. They were avoiding bullets however, not large reptiles. :)

Posted by: Brian at December 5, 2007 11:19 AM

hey that zig zag thing is pretty important and I just shared that fact with my hubby and son. Just in case we come across any gators in NH.

Posted by: Lukie at December 5, 2007 01:55 PM

Delurk time.

So you can't shoot a gator, but what do you do if it's in your backyard chasing one of your kids? If I'm armed, the gator dies. Then throw it into a swamp or canal and blame the neighborhood kids for setting off M80's.

Oh, and running zigzag 10 feet in one direction, 20 feet in the other? Are you supposed to keep a tape measure on you at all times? Do the kids memorize this, like they memorize other things to do in an emergency (like stop, drop, and roll)?

Now I know why I don't live in Florida. (as well as the bugs, monster t-storms without warning, hurricanes, ungodly humidity, etc.)

Posted by: diamond dave at December 5, 2007 09:52 PM

Sissy and Jody- I was laughing. I could not believe it was in there.

Jim- That got an outloud laugh over here.

VW- We have no trees we can climb! They are those little stick things or palm trees. Guess that's why they don't mention climbing...

Teresa- Oh good point!

Brian- Actually, you scare me. You are right. It was the In-laws with Peter Falk. But it was Alan Arkin I remembered. I thought it was he who was yelling, "Serpentine! Serpentine!" But, for the life of me, I didn't remember the name of the movie, only the scene. Whoo hooo!

Lukie- I know, those NH gators are scary! Wonder if that works for moose and bears too...

Diamond Dave- You know, you bring up many questions that were in my head. What in the hell is up with the 10 feet and 20 feet thing? Why was it uneven? Why 10 and 20 and not 5 and 10? Why not steps? Why not run 10 steps and then 10 steps? I was puzzled by it all.

We don't do Gator evasion in our schools. Nope. But hey, this little tidbit of info could prove to be important, so I will impart it upon my children! I have a son that is prone to wanting to lob golf balls off of them when on the course and he sees one in a canal. Does NOT make me happy... that whole Darwin's theory thing, it could happen in my family.

You really can't shoot a gator, but the fish, game and wildlife guy actually is quoted in the article as saying, "Under normal circumstances". It being in your yard is... deemed normal. No kidding. :)

Posted by: Bou at December 5, 2007 10:24 PM

Oh I am so glad we don't have those things up here! That ziggy zaggy thing came from Myth Busters, didn't it? Or was it Most Extreme? Has to be one of those shows Arthur is addicted to, because he's mentioned that before.

Posted by: Peggy U at December 6, 2007 01:58 AM

Well, Bou... glad to be of service :) After the anime robots with projectile mammaries, I figured why not let loose with another obscure reference :) Have to do at least one a year over here.

Posted by: Brian at December 6, 2007 09:27 AM