December 26, 2007

Knifing Santa?

OK. I thought of two stories. I'm all over the road today.

For Christmas Eve dinner, I decided to have a beef tenderloin to go with the calamari sauce my husband and his dad were making.

I went to the local butcher that has an amazing selection of meat. I don’t know him that well… only going in when I know I need… an amazing piece of meat.

Christmas Eve qualified.

The butcher is from a Slavic country. I have yet to discern exactly from where, but at first thought Greece, but settled on somewhere Slavic…

I walked in and told him I needed a beef tenderloin and after we settled on how much I needed the following conversation ensued to the best of my recollection:

Me: I just wanted to pre-order it today… Its Friday and I don’t need it until Christmas Eve.

Butcher: You buy today, you buy today. You buy tomorrow, you VAIT! (referring to the rush of shoppers that would be at the butcher on Saturday)

Me: It’s my fridge. Is it as cold as yours?

Butcher: Yes. Yes. You buy today, eet seets een YOUR refreegerator. You buy tomorrow, eet seets een mine. You buy tomorrow you VAIT!

All weekend I’ve been quoting this guy. “You buy today, you buy today. You buy tomorrow, You VAIT!”

Needless to say, I walked out with the meat. The expensive meat. That I proceeded to carry into every store I walked into, so as to not keep it in my car. That would be Publix and… the Boy Scouts store.

Which brings me to another story that just popped into my head…

Bones received a pocket knife for selling so much popcorn for Cub Scouts. The pocket knife will not stay in his pocket. That would be because… the kid hippity skips around all over, constantly, tumbling, jumping, leaping, perpetual motion. So for Christmas, at the last minute he proclaimed, “I’m going to ask Santa for a case for my pocket knife so I quit losing it.”

Now we have not only taught him how to open and close a pocket knife, and all the safety stuff that goes with it, but we have reviewed where one can and cannot take said knife.

The knife NEVER goes to school, the airport or the court house. All governmental buildings, the knife stays home. He understands.

So we were on our way to see Santa and he looked at me and said, “Mom, I think I should take my knife to see Santa so he can see how big it is, so he knows what size case to get me.”

Holy crap. Can you imagine? Santa has been sitting there for hours and hours having little kids sit on his lap, only to have my blue eyed blonde haired imp whip out a pocket knife? Now maybe he’d have been fine with it, but hey, there is always the stroke possibility, with the world being what it is today.

I quickly said, “NO! Add to your list of places your knife cannot go. It can’t go see Santa either.”

The knife stayed home. Good Grief.

Posted by Boudicca at December 26, 2007 10:42 PM | TrackBack

Harh! I know all about being a Kid with a Pocket Knife...

Posted by: Elisson at December 26, 2007 11:53 PM


Posted by: wRitErsbLock at December 27, 2007 09:20 AM

So, you're saying that next year its not such a good idea to let The Prince take that Glock to Mr. Jolly so he can get a good idea of holster size?

Posted by: Jay- the friendly neighborhood piper at December 27, 2007 10:23 AM

I'm still thinking about your beef tenderloin... I think I need to make one of those - because it sounds so good. LOL.

As for the knife... OMG ROFLMAO I can just see your son pulling out the knife to show Santa. I love it!

Posted by: Teresa at December 27, 2007 11:38 AM

Oh, vonderful -- now I vill be talking like zat zee whole day, too.

Posted by: Erica at December 27, 2007 02:27 PM


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Posted by: Smiley Faces at December 27, 2007 07:12 PM

Go on, let him whip out the knife for Santa.
That would be the one time Santa pee'd on a kid's lap!

Posted by: Roses at December 28, 2007 10:32 PM