January 13, 2008

Green pancakes and Trees

I woke up this morning to music videos set on rap music. My husband was up early to play golf and I was left at home with my three boys plus one of Ringo’s buddies who spent the night.

Rap music. As a wake up. No thanks.

It only got better.

I walked into the kitchen later to find Ringo and his buddy wanting to make pancakes. I told them it was cool and left them to their own devices, giving a quick heads up that making one uber huge pancake may seem like a GREAT and FUN idea, but sucks as it won’t cook all the way through and is hard to flip and stove controls can be your friend or your enemy… hotter heat is not better. Medium was their friend.

Then I left. They are 13… well Ringo will be in a month. I figured they could handle it.

Until Bones came running in yelling and complaining, “Mom, I hate this! Why did you let them make the pancakes! They made them GREEN and they ALL have chocolate chips. Green pancakes? That’s disgusting! And I HATE chocolate chips in my pancakes!”

Of course he does, because obviously it adds too much sweet as he pours on the syrup and the whipped cream. His favorite pancakes have butter, maple syrup, chocolate syrup and whipped cream. The thought of his favorite breakfast makes my pancreas hurt.

I put a stop to those. My ADHD kid doesn’t need all that daggum sugar.

Anyway, back to this morning… green chocolate chip pancakes. I walked to the kitchen, and sure enough, there were… green pancakes. St. Patrick’s Day green. Grass Green. Green eggs and ham Green. What is up with the need to make their food colored?


Last time, Ringo had some funky science project where he was supposed to bring in cool whip as, I guess, something to act as chlorophyll, so he dyed it green, ate it after it had been out to long, and threw up all over the bathroom. I think I blogged that. Projectile green cool whip puke.

I think that that incident alone, would have sworn me off green funky foods.

Lettuce? Yes.
Cucumbers? Yes.
Zuchini? Yes.
Green eggs, ham, pancakes or cool whip? NO.

So I explained the Ringo the importance of communication. Those who read often, are we seeing a trend here? This is where I should have broken out the frickin’ hand puppets. He said, ‘I just assumed EVERYONE liked chocolate chips in their pancakes…”

To which I replied, “You NEVER assume you know everything about everyone. You ASK. ALWAYS. If you fail to learn to communicate, you will have a very hard life… Very hard.”

Actually I may have said “You will fail at life.”

I can’t remember. But either way, it will be bad.

I made another batch for Bones as Ringo and his buddy didn’t heed my advice of ‘Medium is your friend’ because, wtf do I know; I’m just the Mom, and proceeded to burn a couple.

After the pancake deal was over, Ringo started to wipe down the counters while standing next to me and he whispered, “Thank you for letting us make green pancakes…”

It made it seem a bit more worthwhile…

…until the Christmas tree incident.

An hour or so later, the kids went outside to walk around. I looked out my front door and there the four of them came, up the street, towing… A Christmas Tree.

I ran out the front door yelling, “WHAT. IS. THAT?”

Mr. T: It’s a Christmas Tree…

Me: I know. Whose idea was this? Where did it come from? Where is Ringo?!”

This just has Ringo and his buddy written all over it.

Ringo came around the corner and said, “What? The guy saw us take it. It was just sitting on the street. He said he didn’t want it and we could have it.”

Me: Of course he said you could have it. HE PUT IT OUT THERE FOR THE GARBAGE MAN TO PICK UP TOMORROW!!!

Ringo: *blink*

Me: What in the heck are you thinking you will do with this tree?

Bones: We’re going to plant it in the back yard.

Me: IT’S… DEEEEEEAAD. You can’t plant it. It won’t grow. It’s dead. Keep it right there in the street next to our mailbox. The garbage man can pick it up from our house now.

Good Grief.

And to tell you how big our tree was, my husband hauled it to the curb. I saw it when I came back from tutoring the young man I’m helping in Algebra. I said to Ringo, “Where is that tree? Did you return it?”

Ringo: no, its right there in the street…

Me: I didn’t see it…

Ringo: Oh, because its under ours.

Our tree was HUGE this year. Next year… we go back to being plastic people.

Posted by Boudicca at January 13, 2008 09:40 PM | TrackBack

That was exceedingly funny. Teresa, Jerry, and many others who attended the Hysterics @ Eric's could also personally attest to the trouble one gets into when they consume Green Things.


I don't know if you have I-Hops where you live, but when my parentals would take me there, I always ordered the "Happy Face Pancake," which was a chocolate chip pancake, with lots of whipped cream on top, made to look like a smiley face, and chocolate chips IN the whipped cream...there may have also been a cherry for a nose.

The thought of eating something like that today is utterly grossitating. I am quite positive, however, since boys after all WILL be boys, that your three young'ns will be eating abominable scheisse like that well into their Golden Years.

Posted by: Erica at January 13, 2008 10:39 PM

.... you know, every time that I hear that term, Erica, I get hit by uncontrollable fits of laughter..... much as I do when I read Bou's posts!..... thank you both!....

Posted by: Eric at January 13, 2008 10:45 PM

Oh I completely forgot about that green stuff!!! Heh!! I got to pour one, remember? Oh... uh... maybe you don't. Heh!

Yup, we have IHOPS and one of my kids always gets that smiley pancake. You are right, I'd barf before I ate that now! Blech.

Eric- well, you are welcome! I think that a lot of men will identify with this post. You all were all once 13...

Posted by: Bou at January 13, 2008 10:49 PM

I've got a tree they can have if they want it. Must be the boy scout in them. Around here, the boy scouts collect the trees.

Posted by: Peggy U at January 14, 2008 01:05 AM

Your local Boy Scouts collect them? Yikes! Thankfully our refuse people come. Thankfully!

Posted by: Bou at January 14, 2008 12:43 PM

Bou: The Boy Scouts sell them before Christmas and will collect them afterwards if you call them by a certain time. Of course, a small donation is appreciated! ;)

However, the garbage truck will also take them if you put them on the curb.

Posted by: Peggy U at January 14, 2008 03:40 PM

Green pancakes? With bananas?

Posted by: Elisson at January 15, 2008 11:17 AM