January 24, 2008

Gator Shoes and Belts for EVERYONE!

Remember that frickin’ 15 foot gator I told you about? HERE and HERE with picture HERE. I was off by 3 feet. It was only a 12 footer.

I will tell you, I spoke to the man that lived in that house and I could tell he thought I was nuts when I told him how big we thought it was. (What can I say, we were far away and it was just massive.)

I could tell by the expression on his face that he thought I was a drama queen.

Not my problem. I blew it off. Wasn’t my yard, wasn’t my gator problem. I figured, “Think I’m a drama queen? Wait until you see that sucker… UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL.”

I had the luxury of being in my damn car. HE was going to be on a riding lawn mower.

In Florida, lakes and canals curve around our neighborhoods. So you can have a lake from one side of a neighborhood to another. So a gator could sun in the morning on one side of the neighborhood and then sun in the evening elsewhere. Everyone gets to see the gator… if they live on one of these lakes/ponds/canals/small bodies of water.

Last week we were driving home and the boys were yelling, ‘Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Stop the car! Turn around! Go back! There’s that gator!” and sure enough, when I went back, there it lay, on the bank. I thought someone would have caught it, but they did not.

Flash forward a couple days and my husband informs me that a client of his who lives in our neighborhood said she’d seen that gator in her backyard and that she didn’t let her dog out alone anymore and was very careful.

I said, “I can’t believe she hasn’t called. Why haven’t they come and gotten that monster?”

And my husband replied, “Because she said they told her they would have to kill it. They would not trap and release and she doesn’t want them to kill it.”

And at that point, I did a *Blink*.

What? Monster huge gators are BAD. BAD. BAD. They aren’t afraid of ANYTHING.

This evening I was dropping something off at another neighbor’s home when the wife said to me, “Did you hear? On Tuesday they finally trapped that 12 foot gator! They’ve been trying to catch him for TWO YEARS.”

I said, “Did they measure it?” and she replied, “Definitely a 12 footer…”

And I felt redeemed.

And I’m glad that monster isn’t living in my neighborhood anymore…

And obviously someone one of those folks along the lake had the sense to call. Thank God.

Posted by Boudicca at January 24, 2008 09:54 PM | TrackBack

Once, during summer vacation when I was in high school, I went out for a morning walk down our long dirt driveway. I was wandering along, thinking to myself, not really paying much attention to things around me when ... I just about stepped down on a rattlesnake. I was lying in the middle of the road, trying to capture some warmth from the dirt, apparently. It made a noise at me and I backed away from it. And it sluggishly crawled off into the sage brush.

Now I'm not overly freaked out by reptiles, but that made me jump a bit. I will say, I would not like to see reptiles bigger than that one. I don't know how you live with gators meandering into your yard. I'd be worried about the kids and the pets all the time.

Posted by: Peggy U at January 25, 2008 02:01 AM

You KNEW this would catch my attention.

A twelve-footer? I figure that's about 11 feet, 12 inches too farookin' big.


As for the woman who "didn't want it killed," as the Late, Great Rob Smith used to say, "She oughta be dragged off ......"

Posted by: Jim - PRS at January 25, 2008 02:59 AM

As one who rarely agrees with Hairboy on anything, especially the proper corporate name of NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS, I will say, for a gnarly, jaw-snapping beast that's twice my old man's height, that THING and the woman oughtta both be dragged off and shot. I'll take dirty New York pigeons that poop on peoples' heads any day over having a monster lizard that would have no second thoughts about killing me in my backyard.

Posted by: Erica at January 25, 2008 10:16 AM

Good grief!!! What is wrong with people????

I'm really glad it's gone now - that's just downright scary.

Posted by: Teresa at January 25, 2008 01:06 PM

Somehow I knew Jimbo would sniff this post out. He runs to Alligator Posts like most people try to sneak a look at the wrecks they pass on the Interstate. "Hey, anybody dead?"

We have the occasional cottonmouth in - or alongside - the neighborhood lake. That's enough reptile for me.

Posted by: Elisson at January 25, 2008 04:05 PM

I got within one foot of a gator in the wild once. Came home from waitressing one night and Dad was in the yard at 2:00AM with a flashlight. He pointed the light at the edge of the fence and said, "What do you think that is?" (He knew, dammit!) I walk over to the fence, see something red and shiny, bend down to look at it, and I'm inches away from the HUGE RED EYE OF AN EFFIN' GATOR!!

Dad said it was on the other side of the fence, so I wasn't in any danger. And he wonders why I hardly call him anymore.

Posted by: Mrs. Who at January 25, 2008 05:42 PM

Ew! Mrs. Who! That's worse than my snake!

Posted by: Peggy U at January 25, 2008 07:26 PM

Hell, I'd have give you Catfish's number a while back if I'd know you needed a gator job done. He's an expert gator evaporator...

Posted by: RedNeck at January 27, 2008 11:47 AM