June 02, 2008

Fish Bait?

Bones' end of the year field trip is to a little island with a beach just off the coast. We go camping there frequently. I’m chaperoning. No way in hell am I letting my kids go without me where there is the potential for great chaos while surrounded by water. I got my certification for Water Safety Instructor when I was a senior in high school. Bad thoughts come my way when thinking of lots of kids and water… I’m going.

For the record, I went when Mr. T’s class went and its not chaotic at all. We hire two life guards, there are a lot of parents, and its very organized.


There is potential, so I'll be there.

Anyway, there is a little lagoon which is the only place the kids can swim. Bones has been preparing tonight for his trip. He came in to see me and the following conversation occurred to the best of my recollection.

Bones: Mom, will you help me get down my snorkel gear.

Me: OK… give me a second.

Bones: Where are we snorkeling?

Me: In the lagoon.


Me: You know… that little lagoon.

Bones, practically shrieking: MOM! I’m not snorkeling in there! There are piranhas!

Me: *blink*

Me: Son, there are no piranhas in the snorkeling lagoon. That’s what the lagoon is for…

Bones: YES! YES THERE IS! I’ve seen them!

Me: Bones, you can talk to the Life Guards about it... they’ll be the people standing in the Lagoon with all the piranhas, because you know… that’s what Life Guards LOVE to do….

Bones: I’ve seen them.

Me: Piranhas live in the Amazon Basin. We live in South Florida. There are no piranhas.

Bones: Are you sure? What are those little fish with pointy teeth I see?

Me: I have no clue son but I assure you that A) They aren’t piranhas and B) they aren’t dangerous or we’d not have Life Guards in the water with you.

Good Grief.

Piranhas. The kid thought we’d take his class to piranha infested waters to go snorkeling?


Posted by Boudicca at June 2, 2008 08:24 PM | TrackBack

I'm laughing so hard, I have tears running down my face. God love him, I cannot believe how his mind works. The next fifteen years are going to be one wild ride for you all!

Posted by: Mary at June 2, 2008 09:22 PM

Mary- There are days I just feel myself with the blank look, staring at him and I am thinking to myself, "I so cannot make this stuff up." What an imp.

As Elisson likes to say, 'My blog writes itself."

Posted by: Bou at June 2, 2008 09:26 PM

Oh, that would be Elisson telling ME that my blog writes itself. Not his. He has to make his up... that hard way of blogging. ;-) I just watch the chaos around me... :)

Posted by: Bou at June 2, 2008 09:27 PM

Piranhas. What a hoot that kid is!

I know what you mean about the blog writing itself. Every time I think I've hit a dry spell, something always happens here on the farm.

Posted by: Jerry at June 2, 2008 09:42 PM

Piranhas? Too funny! Don't tell him about toothpick fish - he'll never go back in the water!

Posted by: PeggyU at June 2, 2008 10:10 PM

Someone (probably another kid, or maybe one of his brothers) probably told him that there were piranhas in the lagoon. Easy to mess with the head of an over-imaginative child.

Posted by: diamond dave at June 2, 2008 10:43 PM

LOL. Gotta give the kid credit for imagination!

Posted by: vw bug at June 3, 2008 04:59 AM

He wants piranhas, then give him some.

Have him squeeze some bread into little balls (so it won't fall apart when wet as easily) and take them out into the lagoon. Let the bread loose in front of the little yellow-striped fish (sargeant majors). He'll see such a feeding frenzy, he'll THINK they're piranhas. But their mouths and teeth are so tiny, even if he gets nibbled, he'll barely feel it.

We used to do that all the time on dive trips.....you end up with such a cloud of little fish in front of you, you can't see your fellow divers.

Posted by: George at June 3, 2008 07:07 AM

Well, I can only speak for myself, and hell, I live in PA, but I used to tell my little sister that there were Pirahna in the river. She wouldn't go near it. Course, I also told her army ants would eat her, bugs crawl into her brain and that watermelon seeds grew in your tummy. She believed all of it. *snicker* So, perhaps the culprit is an older brother?

Posted by: oddybobo at June 3, 2008 08:07 AM

Ah, this is what I have to look forward to. Thanks for the heads up. *L*

Posted by: Barmy Mama at June 3, 2008 11:44 AM

Oddybobo: My oldest brother told our second oldest brother that the sun rose in the west and set in the east in the southern hemisphere. He took this little bit of misinformation at face value and didn't think it through, and he blatted it out in front of the whole third grade class. Of course, oldest brother thought it was hysterical (they were in the same class at school, due to the oldest one missing a large chunk of first grade and being held back).

It would not surprise me at all if a brother was behind the piranhaphobia.

Posted by: PeggyU at June 3, 2008 11:56 AM

actually.... there are some piranha in FL... People get them as pets (illegally) and then let them loose out in the wild. Doubt they're in your little lagoon, though.

Posted by: caltechgirl at June 3, 2008 01:12 PM

Florida? Lagoon? I sure hope it's salt water.

When in Florida, I avoid all bodies of fresh water larger than a puddle.


Posted by: Jim - PRS at June 3, 2008 09:11 PM

Speaking as a former middle school teacher...If I were to bring a bunch of youngsters to an island and was concerned about them messing around in and around the water, I just might--might, mind you--start a rumor that there were piranha in the water. Either piranha or great white sharks. yeah, I would do that.

Great googly-moogly! What a means of crowd control!

Posted by: joated at June 4, 2008 09:09 AM