June 10, 2008

Someone Did the Math... I Feel Certain

I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t. I read this article and felt compelled to do the math.

The just shipped 16500 condoms for the US Antartic base, for 125 scientists and staff. Its supposed to be a year’s supply.

If you assume everyone is acting responsibly and using birth control and that 120 of the 125 pair up, that’s 60 couples. That’s assuming there is a 50/50 split male to female ratio. And if you assume 10% of the women are on the pill… then you get 54 couples that need condoms.

Divided into 16500… that’s 305 per couple to last 365 days. I’m sorry, but I think that’s not enough. Everyone is different, but there are going to be twice a day couples and once a day couples, and then of course, crazy all the time couples.

Then again, eh, assume that of the 125, you truly only have 25 couples whiling away the hours getting to know each other in the Biblical sense and assuming 10% of the women on the pill… leaving 23 couples, that’s now 717 condoms per couple and that seems… more likely.


That should take care of the crazy all the time couples, the twice a day folks and the once a day folks… as well as the once a weekers.

No clue why I felt inclined to do the math. Hand me numbers, and I will create scenarios. It’s a sickness I tell you…

And these people are scientists. There had to be some sort of algorithm used to decide how many to send. There HAD to be… I refuse to believe that they pulled this 16500 number out of a hat. No.

As for me, I am a very goal oriented kind of person. I'd be bound and determined to use my entire allotment... no matter the number. Heh.

Posted by Boudicca at June 10, 2008 07:51 PM | TrackBack

I think they just asked people to place an order. Those who forgot (and we know these folks exist) will just be in for a rude awakening...WAAHHHHHHHHH

Posted by: h~ at June 10, 2008 08:52 PM

Don't forget that 10% will be used as party balloons.

Posted by: Harvey at June 10, 2008 09:08 PM

Mom- LOL! Holy crap. Wahhhh! Heh heh heh... I'd not thought that maybe they'd placed orders. They were so worried about embarrassing people I figured some number cruncher sat down and did a '50 women + 50 men and 365 days'...oh but you are probably right. Heh. Wahhh! Holy crap, i can't quit laughing.

Harvey- You are right! Did I tell you that story? I don't think i blogged it about TN and the econo size bag of condoms he was gifted on Christmas? I need to post that...

So they are down 1650 condoms. Oh that's unfortunate... Someone is surely getting the shaft on that one... and not in a good way.

Posted by: Bou at June 10, 2008 09:13 PM

Well, they got to productively pass the time there in Antarctica SOMEHOW. I mean, they can't quite just run outside and play in the snow when they're bored. And without the condoms, there'd be a lot of "Ice Babies" or "Snow Babies".

Posted by: diamond dave at June 10, 2008 09:48 PM

Lol...I almost sat down to do the math myself...glad you did!

Posted by: Mrs. Who at June 10, 2008 09:57 PM

You know, I saw that and I thought about it but I refrained from the challenge! I did, however, calculate the cost of that damned giant Indiana Jones Lego boulder (about $32,000 - assuming they were accurate about the number of Legos involved).

Come on. These people are scientists. What are the odds that at least half of them are women? No, I'll bet it's a little lopsided gender-wise. And what are the odds the menfolks are gay? I know I am hinting at stereotypes, but honestly how many gay scientists do you know? Every gay man I am personally aware of is into literature or the arts. Stereotypes exist for a reason, and I'm guessing a good portion of those guys don't stand much of a chance with women but are not gay. Hey, I hang with geeks and I love them, but I know that even a total makeover wouldn't help some of 'em. Not trying to be mean, but it is what it is!

Now I can see them making water balloons or slipping them onto unsuspecting penguins or just hoarding them in case Armageddon comes and their prospects improve. However, I am thinking some senator or governor somewhere is probably relieved because he unloaded a misappropriated purchase and was able to justify it as a legitimate expenditure. I hope the condoms from heaven are not tolerant of cold temperatures. The world needs more geeks.

Posted by: PeggyU at June 11, 2008 12:37 AM

You made my morning. Thanks! What do you do with 365 used rubbers? Make them into a tire and call it a 'goodyear'. baw ha ha ha ha.

Posted by: vw bug at June 11, 2008 06:12 AM

You need to refigure it without subtracting the women on the pill. They may still use a condom to prevent disease.

Also, count in the loser guys who carry that extra one in their wallet that they never use.

(I'm here to help...)

Posted by: Roses at June 11, 2008 08:44 AM

Dave- Wonder if they have a midwife...

Mrs.Who- Well my calculations are changing due to my readers now! Gah!

Peggy- Well, heh, there are more gay scientists than you would think. The ones I know are pretty quiet about it. Some professions are more open to it than others, as in accepting it. The sciences is not typically one. When I worked for Company X, when some of the realized I really didn't give a crap what they did and who they did it with, they were more open with me. I wasn't about to narc on anyone either. Why people care about other people's sexual orientation will always be a mystery to me.

So. i'm guessing geeks will be playing some condom games when bored. I know I would...

I need to write that post.

VW- Your joke got me thinking. Ick. I hadn't thought of 'the garbage'! GAh!

Roses- Oh... you know... you are right. So assume 100% usage due to the prevention of disease. There is this whole other statistic... quality control and condom failings, but I won't go there.

Posted by: Bou at June 11, 2008 01:22 PM

Oh wait. And the guys that carry their own, that's one per wallet at maybe 25 guys. Thats only 25 extra condoms, which doesn't offset Harvey's thought that 10% will be used for party balloons! I think they could be in the hole. Heh.

Posted by: Bou at June 11, 2008 01:23 PM

Maybe it's just the latest fad - send mass quantities of them to people in survival situations. I wonder what the folks in Myanmar are doing with all those UN party balloons. Making rubber rafts out of them?

Posted by: PeggyU at June 11, 2008 02:32 PM

Oh good grief! Thanks for the grins and giggles, I really needed a laugh tonight! Now I'm going to lie awake tonight with everyone's comments circling around in my poor tired brain, giggling and snorting as I try to fall asleep......

Posted by: Mary at June 11, 2008 09:27 PM

Freakin engineers. Y'all are nuts. ;)

Posted by: Barmy Mama at June 13, 2008 06:42 AM