September 14, 2008

When Commando Might be Best

I’m going to talk about Panty Lines and Mannequins in the Mall.

First, mannequins.

Who decides what the mannequins wear?

I was walking through Macy’s today, to try to find a pair of dress pants for Mr. T, when I had to pass through the cosmetics department. There in the middle stood a blonde mannequin wearing… black silk panties, a white button down dress shirt, black 4 inch heels and carrying a black purse.

Who dresses like that? Ever. I mean, it could be a whole ‘come hither look’ for games at home, but she was carrying a purse. An evening bag at that.


What were they advertising?

Besides Sex...

I was at a loss…

Next, panty lines.

Let me be the first to say, I don’t care if I have panty lines as long as I’m not wearing an evening gown. If I’m wearing an evening gown, I’m wearing Spanx anyway, so there is no panty line issue.

But day in and day out, I could not care less. We all wear underwear, so I really don’t care if you can see the line. I’ve got far bigger issues in my life than wondering if someone can see where my panties meet my thighs.

Now I know many women have issues with that, and that’s cool. We all pick our fashion battles. Many of them wear thong underwear to fight the panty line battle. I personally can’t wear them. I know women who SWEAR by them, but maybe it’s the shape of my backside or my hips or something, but I don’t think they’re very comfortable.

So this is to you thong wearers… who do it to fight panty line.

Depending on what you wear, you still have one.

If you are wearing clingy cotton, instead of the line along the base of your bottom, you have a triangle just below your waist, disappearing into the crack of your bottom.

I watched a woman walk into the mall today wearing a cotton dress. I could see the triangle of her thong. The dress clung to it. Her backside, the cotton dress just brushed over, but that thong underwear triangle stuck to her dress like velcro.

Now maybe this does not bother most, but personally? It shows too much ‘ass anatomy’ to me. To be very blunt, you know where a woman’s crack starts if she wears a thong and is wearing clingy cotton.

The classic is when I can see it through their pants. I want to stop them and say, “Girlfriend, what was the point? Why don’t we just PAINT the triangle on your backside? We can all see where your panties are disappearing into your bottom.”

Oh and white is the worst. That would be white cotton dresses or white pants. They are the biggest triangle revealers. BIG.

A few weeks ago I saw a girl, dressed to the nines, 4 inch heels, white cotton dress, she turned and walked away and the only thing I could see was… “The Panty Triangle”. It was SCREAMING at anyone who was behind her.

I know, it’s all personal preference. But I just prefer that if you’re going to see where my underwear ends, that you see it at the top of my thighs and not disappearing into the crack of my backside.

But that’s… just me.

As for the mannequins, stop the madness already.

Please. Like our children aren’t subjected to enough overt sexuality. I was a bit horrified walking through cosmetics with my 11 year old son. I wasn't in lingerie.

Stop the madness.

Posted by Boudicca at September 14, 2008 09:12 PM | TrackBack

I wore a thong (butt floss, I believe is the colloquialism) once. ONCE. Imagine the annoyance of having a wedgie...all day.

Posted by: Erica at September 14, 2008 08:51 PM

I wonder if they were in the middle of dressing the mannequin and then said... "break time!"

I'm pretty sure they aren't supposed to be half dressed. Or maybe it's a Florida thing. LOL.

As for underwear - no matter the type - it should not show through your outer garments... front or back. If it does - get rid of that garment and wear something else. Face it, even if they wear "grannie pants" - the see through look is horrid.

Of course I refuse to wear white except for shirts because it always gets so dirty - nearly immediately. Makes me feel like Pigpen. heh.

Posted by: Teresa at September 14, 2008 10:19 PM

Erica- That's how it feels to me too. Its just not very comfortable.

Teresa- I am telling you... you'd have thought we were in Frederick's and not Macy's cosmetics.

As for the underwear, some people really just need to turn around and look in the mirror from behind. It reminds me of the time that I was in band in HS. One of the flutes had these underwear with the day of the week. It was a Tuesday... but through her white shorts you could see the black letters of... FRIDAY. Needless to say, the drumline had a field day with that. But that's about how bad these thong triangles are.

Maybe this is vogue? Like when women bend down and their cracks show because their jeans are slung so low? Or everyone gets a big idea of their underwear? It just doesn't phase our society anymore...

Posted by: Bou at September 15, 2008 06:04 AM

I don't understand the problem. I NEVER have a panty line when I wear a kilt.

Posted by: Angus of Lochalin at September 15, 2008 07:35 AM

VPL doesn't bother me either. It's a fact of life - if you are bothered by VPL, then what about the "upper underwear"? Straps, hooks, lace - it's gonna show as well!

Thongs are OK, but only for a few hours. All day and fuhgettaboutit.

Posted by: Kris, in New England at September 15, 2008 08:41 AM

I admit I wear thongs, and probably always will.

Because to me they are as comfortable as all hell, when I do have to wear granny panties at certain times of the month (ah hm) it is like pure torture the entire week.

And I don't have to worry about anyone seeing that triangle path because I don't wear any clothes that one could see through anyway. My clothes are all a nice heavy cotton, denium, etc.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at September 15, 2008 08:45 AM

Dad-... if we all wore kilts life would be so much frickin' easier. Hell, if I wore a kilt during this marathon training, I'd not be counting bathrooms I couldn't use!

Kris- I agree. We see bra lines all the time. VPL is just not a big deal.

QW- Exactly. Heavier materials are just more forgiving. And I hear a lot of girls say that about the thongs. I just must have bought the wrong brand or wrong size or it could be my body shape.

Posted by: Bou at September 15, 2008 09:32 AM

There is probably nothing that will make be drop a WTF faster than fat chix with lo-riders and butt floss.

Kilts are just so very...liberating.

Posted by: The Friendly Neighborhood Piper at September 15, 2008 08:05 PM