December 31, 2008

Now You See It... Now You STILL Don't See It

Invariably, when you have children something will come up and you’ll find yourself saying to your spouse, “Hey, he’s YOUR son.” (Insert daughter if it applies…)

Then sometimes, there is just no denying.

With Bones and his vast personality, perpetual motion and just overall ‘Bonesiness’ I feel certain its not something he inherited from me.

It’s as if I birthed a cartoon.

My sister and I were sitting in my parent’s kitchen the other day. Bones walked in, as he was hungry, opened the refrigerator door, declaring his hunger.

We looked up and said, ‘What are you hungry for?’

He replied, “A hot dog.”

Morrigan said, “We don’t have any hot dogs…”

He shrugged his shoulders, closed the door and walked out. He came back in five minutes later, opened the fridge and said, “I’m hungry for a hot dog.”

Mo and I looked at each other and one of us said, “We don’t have any hot dogs.” His shoulders sagged and he walked out again.

Five minutes later, he came back in, opened the fridge and just stood there, staring, as if willing a hot dog to appear.

Morrigan said, “We don’t have any hot dogs.”

He got all saggy shouldered again and said, ‘I know… but I REALLY want one…” as he stood still in the doorway.

I continued, “Dude, it does not matter how much you WANT a hot dog or how long you stand there, a hot dog is NOT going to appear.”

That seemed to appease him.


Flash back a couple weeks ago. I lost my glasses. You may ask how that it is possible, but I only use them for driving at night. I’m near sighted, but not bad enough to warrant wearing them all the time, although I tend to when the headaches are bad.

Three weeks ago I did that half marathon and had to leave my house at 3:45 AM. Wearing my glasses was imperative because it was dark and I was very concerned about the new terrain.

(Side note: Let me reiterate, I would so be OK with hanging up my car keys forever, even more so at night. I have come to really not like driving at night.)

I arrive there and… have not seen my glasses since.

Secretly, I thought they were in my car. I gave my car a thorough and badly needed cleaning before our trip home.

No glasses.

I’ve looked in my purse.

No glasses.

And its as if I cannot possibly believe they are not in either place because EVERY time I get in my car, I find myself searching the floor (even though its been so thoroughly vacuumed there is NO WAY in hell they are in any crevice of the asexual mom-mobile) and looking in places I keep change and just ‘junk’.

And my black purse?

It’s like I’m trying to be a frickin’ magician, “See my empty purse? Now watch how I reach in and pull these glasses out of my purse! Tah dah!”

Except… there is no Tah Dah! Because… there are no glasses.

And suddenly I’m feeling like Bones at the fridge. It doesn’t matter how many times he stands at that door, a hot dog is not going to appear.

And it doesn’t matter how many times I look in my purse or vehicle… there will be no glasses.

I’m stuck wearing some 1990 pair. Talk about looking like a Goof. Luckily they aren’t my original black ‘birth control glasses’ from 1987. I did anything to detract looking like a young woman in a mostly male engineering organization.

For the record… the glasses didn’t help. They still seemed to notice I was built different.

Go figure.

Posted by Boudicca at December 31, 2008 09:18 PM | TrackBack

have you checked the floor of the asexual mom mobile yet?

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at December 31, 2008 11:55 PM

Here's my concern...

I actually vacuumed the floor before our trip. I mean, pulled out the seats, pulled out ever piece of scrap paper, every little bit of junk and vacuumed. I almost went deaf with the sound of dirt suction as I think it had been 6 months since it was last done... maybe a year... and anyone who has kids and a van knows that is BAD. The accumulation of dirt is VAST... just from shoes, let alone living in the vehicle.

So... there was so much dirt and junk I was vacuuming into my husband's mongo largo hugo super duper deluxe wet dry vac that... I'm kind of concerned I might have sucked my glasses up and not noticed.

I want to check to tomorrow, but I kind of don't want to open the canister and revisit what I cleaned.

Blech. I may get Bones to do it. He'll do anything...

Posted by: Bou at January 1, 2009 12:00 AM

They will appear about an hour after you buy a new pair. ;)

Posted by: PeggyU at January 1, 2009 04:34 AM

Get yourself a back-up pair of spex here:

I LOVE this place, and have gotten some very, very cool eyewear for a dirt cheap price.

Posted by: Omnibus Driver at January 2, 2009 12:19 PM