February 22, 2009

Artists, Sand, Fish, Thankfully NO Birds

Today has been one of those days, again, that we left the house early and got home late.

And it’s a Saturday, which kind of sort of sucks.

Bones had a Lacrosse game today, so we were out the door, my taking with me my niece, as my husband and his brother were set to move my father in law into Assisted Living. (My sister in law works weekends.)

In between I was gathering sand in buckets for a party I’m helping to throw tomorrow for Cub Scouts.

Artistic people kind of make me nuts at times. Sometimes they are not very… practical.

I’m shaking my head as I write this. The functionality doesn't appear to exist in their planning.

I don’t relate to them on any level at times.

For instance, I’ve been helping plan this for the last four weeks. I’m planning it with two very artistic women. They decided it was a Hawaiian theme and that beach buckets full of sand would work great as the beginning of a center piece for half the tables. (We’ll get to the other half of the tables in a minute.)

I volunteered to buy the buckets from the Dollar Store not fully realizing that ‘she who has the buckets… fills the buckets”. So today, amidst the moving my father in law and the sports, and looking after my niece, I had to go to the beach to fill these buckets.

I called one of the women as I sat in the parking lot of the beach with my niece and eldest son and said, “Talk to me about your vision. HOW FULL EXACTLY do you want these buckets because I see… tippage. These suckers could tip over in my car and I’ll be vacuuming sand for years.”

Now in my mind, I’d already figured out how to get the buckets wedged so they’d not fall and make a mess, but the more full the buckets, the bigger the probability that sand would escape... in mass.

She said to me… get this… “Why are you taking each of the buckets? Why didn’t you just take one BIG bucket, fill it with sand and put it in your car?”


I sat there for a minute and said, “Do you realize HOW HEAVY that big container would have to be, to carry enough sand for ALL these buckets? And then I have to CARRY it from the beach to my car, and then LIFT it into my trunk?”

She laughed and said, “Oh! I didn’t think about that!”



The other half of the tables?

They had me buy 10 little round fishbowl type bowls from the Dollar Store as well, and they are having goldfish as the other center pieces.

Some may think it’s really a cool idea, and how they describe what they’re going to do does sound cool.

In theory.

But I can’t help but picture a fish or two that die during the meal as well as fish pooping as we eat.

Nothing like watching fish defecation to get one’s appetite going.


I said fine, bought the bowls and found… that ‘she who has the bowls, must also buy the fish’.

I HATE FISH. I hate fish and birds. I find them disgusting and dirty and at least I tolerate fish; I do not tolerate birds.

Fish and birds are only good when cooked and are sitting on my plate ready to eat. Fish and birds are nasty when alive.

The thought of buying these fish and carrying them in my car along with buckets of sand, was more than I could stand. Luckily I said to her, “I will have chocolate covered strawberries in my car. I think someone else needs to get the fish, lest the chocolate melts.”

Someone else is picking up the fish.

We got home from moving Pop in at 9:00. Tonight. I immediately started to make my assigned potato salad and chocolate covered strawberries.

I’m beat.


And my husband told me tonight that he was there when my niece got on the phone with my sister in law and said, “MOM! I spent the entire day with Aunt Bou! It was the BEST DAY of my entire life!”

OK. She’s 6. Not a very long 'entire life'.

And not bad for the adult in the family who gets the bad rap for not letting any kids get away from anything. I’m known to reign with an iron clad fist at times, according to the other adults.

Funny she had the best time of her entire life with ME.

Cracked me up.

Posted by Boudicca at February 22, 2009 12:18 AM | TrackBack

Oh had to laugh!! My sister thought it would be a GREAT idea to have a little wading pool full of goldfish for the kids to 'catch' at her daughter's birthday party. Thus, my daughter came home with her 'catch' of 11 goldfish.

They ALL died. We now have two little tanks with a Beta in each. Not a fan of fish - but boy are these easy fish to have!!

Posted by: Nina at February 22, 2009 12:52 AM

Nina- This is the same mom who decided a few years ago to give out goldfish as prizes.

Holy crap.

I was so pissed. We came home with 8 fish. (Three boys... everyone 'won' at least two.) On the way home I ended up buying a tank and all the stuff for it.

Two of those fish hung on for over a year. I started a 'Die fish Die' chant every morning.

Holy crap.

Not one of these 'centerpieces' are coming home with us. NOT ONE.

And this idea of the buckets of sand... I kept my mouth shut. A plastic bucket of sand has a very high CG. The buckets do not have the same diameter from top to bottom... the bottom is more narrow!

So... I'm wondering how many of these buckets are going to fall over, spilling sand all over the room.

I said nothing because I had already negged out so many ideas due to impracticality, that I became the real black cloud in the group.

I have to shake my head...

Posted by: Bou at February 22, 2009 01:01 AM

To solve the spilled sand and future problems, go to a home improvement place and ask where they keep the cement mixing trays. I got a 3X4 plastic/rubber version that's about a foot deep to keep my salty-wet scuba gear from dripping into the SUV carpet and making it smell like dead fish. They're very lightweight and can easily be taken out to be hosed off. I'm sure they have smaller ones. Then ask the idiot car builders why they line cargo areas with carpet instead of easy to clean and waterproof plastic or rubber.

Posted by: George at February 22, 2009 11:49 AM

I am not artistic in the least. But, I am . . . creative . . . ahem . . . anyway, the Boy is turning 6 in a couple weeks - 6!!! and we are having a "Battle of the Bands." his invite looks like a concert ticket, he will have a red carpet, I have blue, yellow, green and red hair glue for them to spike their hair, fake tattoos and some other stuff - they are going to play Guitar Hero - World Edition as a band - best band wins handheld guitar hero games. I even have contract riders - pony bottles of water, all green M&M's . . .and a cake that looks like the guitar hero controller. 20 kids . . . in my living room . . . with fake tattoos, colored hair and sugar! Kill me now.

Posted by: oddybobo at February 23, 2009 11:43 AM