March 03, 2009

HB- Ringo

So my eldest turned 14 today.

I'm not sure how that happened... that I ended up with a 14 year old because I could SWEAR TO YOU that just yesterday I had a little schmoopy baby like the Flambina.

Yesterday I had a baby with reflux, a baby that laughed so hard that it would make everyone else laugh, a baby that at 12 months of age, sat down at someone's table and ate a cup of ricotta cheese and two cups of steamed broccoli for dinner when we weren't watching. (I have no idea why the person we were visiting had a bowl of ricotta cheese on the dinner table.)

And now, he's 14 and he's a GREAT kid who makes some weird decisions that make the rest of us shake our head.

In exasperation today I was telling a guy friend of mine the latest saga (soon to be recounted here) when I said, "I don't get it!" and he replied, "Bou, he's 14..." as if being a 14 year old boy completely explains the bizarre and amazing choices.

Evidently being a 14 year old boy means you don't think. Any males out there who want to verify it, feel free, as you've all been there, done that.

I was stopped today by the Vice Principal who informed me that Ringo carved this guitar doodle into his desk and then carved his initials.

OK.

Let us think about that.

Who in the hell carves something into a SCHOOL DESK and then essentially signs it?

Who?

And who in the hell does this at a PAROCHIAL SCHOOL?

Who?

Gah!

And so he got in the car today and I said, "We need to talk about your desk in homeroom" and the following conversation ensued, to the best of my recollection.

Ringo: *blink*

Me: Did you carve something into it?

Ringo: It was my Math desk, not homeroom. Yeah, I carved my initials.

Me: Why. What were you thinking? I mean, why not just carve your thumb print or better yet, why not just carve a picture of your face, exact replica, so EVERYONE KNOWS YOU did it?

Ringo:

Me: Think. What else did you carve on the desk?

Ringo: Nothing. There was this guitar guy and he was kind of cool, someone else had already carved him in there, so one day I just put my initials over the top. And every day, I'd write over my initials and then one day, it was permanent.

Me: *blink*

Ringo:

Me: You're frickin' kidding me. When did this happen?

Ringo: Last year in Math.

Me: And they just now saw it? You know you're going to have to pay to reface that desk?

Ringo: I didn't draw guitar guy!

Me: I don't care! They think you DID. You SIGNED IT. YOU PUT YOUR INITIALS. As far as they're concerned YOU DREW guitar guy.

Ringo: But I didn't...

Me: No, and I believe you, but you did CARVE your initials in it with pen and that is just as bad.... and did you ever trace over guitar guy?

Ringo: Yes.

Me: Rest assured your name has been traced over by many kids who sat in the desk, so it may have been lightly penned in, but I GUAR-AN-tee you that its not light now as kids continue to trace guitar guy and now your initials as well. By the way, you're the ONLY kid in middle school with your initials.

Ringo: Well... if they're going to reface that desk, they need to check all the desks because someone carved a picture of a pot plant on the desk in Mrs. B's class...

Key here is that Pot Plant guy didn't sign his initials.

And so it goes... once again, my 14 year old is in trouble, but not mega trouble, just enough trouble where he's no longer flying under the radar, just enough trouble to aggravate me, just enough trouble to... be in trouble.

I want to take up with his classmates this "most likely to be a spy' superlative he was given.

I don't think a spy would leave his initials carved in anything... proclaiming where he'd been.

Ever.

And so my eldest is 14, my rock 'n roll kid, playing bass and drums, doing his own thing, wondering what is up next year for high school.

Hitting 5' tall finally, in the puppy stage where his hands and feet and voice are all of a man, but his body has not yet started to stretch... something that is coming soon.

Happy Birthday, Ringo. Just yesterday I was kissing your little neck and making you laugh hysterically. Should all the children in this world be loved as much as you... I suspect that there would be far fewer problems and this world would be a much better place.

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Posted by Boudicca at March 3, 2009 11:03 PM | TrackBack
Comments

From age X to what I've heard is age 25, the part of the brain which has to do with decision making, and "is this a good idea?" type of stuff is still being formed. So the answer is that guys tend not to think things all the way through before they do them.

Heck, just watch an episode of Jackass. . .

Posted by: Andrew Ravencroft at March 3, 2009 11:22 PM

Smoochy and great at saying 'bird' 'bird' 'bird'... ;-) Happiest of birthdays 'ol man!

Posted by: vw bug at March 4, 2009 05:57 AM

Happy Birthday Ringo! :-)

Posted by: Pam at March 4, 2009 08:07 AM

Happy Birthday to Ringo!!

And not to discourage you...but wait for 16 and driving age...and 18 when they know every friggin' thing about everything! And are stupid enough to try to prove it.

Posted by: Mrs. Who at March 4, 2009 08:19 AM

They do grow so fast -- won't be long now before he's searching for your release button.

And someday he may even start thinking like a grown-up, but (as a guy) I assure you, that won't be happening soon.

Posted by: Bob at March 4, 2009 08:29 AM

Happy Bday Ringo!

Oh, and Bou? Just so you know....had 3 boys and actually the brain goes on vacation around 12 when the hormones hit. It usually kicks in about a decade later.

Brace yourself.......

Posted by: Tammi at March 4, 2009 08:31 AM

Happy Birthday Ringo!

And Bou, he's just breaking you in slowly, just wait. You may want to start liking alcohol.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at March 4, 2009 09:24 AM

HB to Ringo!

And Bou- they are right- their brains stop working when the hormones kick in....good news is that most of the stuff you won't find out about until they get older....and then it's funny.

Posted by: rave at March 4, 2009 09:46 AM

Happy Birthday Ringo!

Bou - if the worst he's done is carve his initials into a desk, you're doing pretty damn good. LOL. For that matter - thinking back to my school days... I don't remember any desks (except brand new ones) that hadn't had all kinds of crap craved on the desktop. I thought that's what kids did. I didn't because that never was of interest - but no one ever paid attention that I remember. In any other schools that wouldn't even get you a second glance much less onto the principal's radar.

The initial part cracks me up - it's amazing what kids don't think of when they are that age.

Posted by: Teresa at March 4, 2009 10:34 AM

happy birthday ringo!

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at March 4, 2009 10:40 AM

HB Ringo! That's a great story... I had to laugh, which made Brenna ask what was funny. Unfortunately, at 4, she doesn't see the humor.

Posted by: Jody at March 4, 2009 11:55 AM

All 14 year olds are knuckleheads, including the girls. I too was a knucklehead at 14 and didn't totally outgrow it until I hit my 30's. My wife may argue that I'm STILL a knucklehead. Teenagers will change their ways only when they get sick and tired of facing the consequences for their impulsive actions. Until then, it's a frustrating ride. So hang tough and love him anyway. BTW, happy B-day Ringo!!

Posted by: diamond dave at March 4, 2009 11:57 AM

Happy Birthday Ringo!!!

Posted by: Carmen at March 4, 2009 04:11 PM

HB Ringo!!!

Posted by: JihadGene at March 5, 2009 01:18 PM