March 20, 2009

If A Gator Eats Someone in a Tent, Is it Like a Pig in a Blanket?

I wasn't going to post tonight, but read something at Jimbo's and couldn't pass it up.

My older boys are on a camping trip with Boy Scouts. Its about 10 minutes from my home... out in one of the big nature preserves. I live out in reclaimed Everglades as it is.

Now... I was going to go with them. This was the trip I'd picked to chaperone. We all know that my husband hates camping and I've come to love it. I'm perfectly content with no cell phone, no TV (I don't watch it anyway), no communication with civilization AT ALL.

Give me a good book and maybe some chocolate chip cookies and I'm good to go.

So imagine my surprise when he said to me two nights ago that he intended to take my boys, leaving me with our youngest.

My reply? "Who are you and what did you do with my husband?"

But he was dead on serious and so I cooked them all a nice hot filling supper tonight, helped them load up my mini-van, and off they went to go camping for the weekend.

The boys excited...

... my husband... perhaps not so much.

He called me once as we borrowed a small tent for him and he couldn't find the posty things you stick the tent into the ground with. He found them.

I called once to make sure it was going well.

He said to me, "I worry about some of these parents, Bou"

This is where I think of Jimbo.

Me: Why?

Hunhead: Because they put their tents right up against the lake.

Me: And?

Hunhead: Hun, there are big huge GATORS in the lake.

Me: Oh! Yeah, I'd not be so close to the lake...


I don't see Jimbo sleeping in a tent anywhere near a lake with gators... I can't quit laughing.

Posted by Boudicca at March 20, 2009 09:52 PM

On the ground?

Near a lake?

Big gators in the lake?


In Florida, I avoid any body of fresh water larger than my shoe.

Posted by: Jim - PRS at March 21, 2009 01:38 AM

I'd be afraid to camp outdoors overnight anywhere in Florida. Especially near a body of water any larger than a teacup.

Posted by: diamond dave at March 21, 2009 09:36 AM

When was the last time you heard of a camper attacked by a gator? Most gator victims are drunken swimmers or old golfers wading in water hazards looking for lost balls.

I'd be more afraid of camping in grizzly country, where the local critters ARE known for occasionaly munching on a "pig in a blanket."

Posted by: George at March 21, 2009 09:48 AM

You can pitch a tent by the lake. Just make sure there are, between you and the lake, at least one other camper per gator. By the time the gators get to you, they're full.

Posted by: Roses at March 21, 2009 10:46 AM

Jimbo and DD- The real issue with my camping in FL are the bugs. I hate the bugs. The gators are not something we typically contend with, although this current site evidently there are. They told me people swim in this lake. I said, "Not my boys." Between gators and ameobas... not happening.

George- Oh you're spot on. If you're not in the water or on teh fringe, its cool. Bears scare the ever living crap out of me... bears and mountain lions. Remember that woman that saved her husband by stabbing that lion in the eye with a pen and then clocking it with a log? I'd could've hit it with a log, but the pen thing? I'd be saying, "Baby, is your life insurance paid up?!"

Roses- Heh! I think my husband did that. All those parents are at the water's edge and my husband has assured himself a spot where the gators will be full.

Posted by: Bou at March 21, 2009 01:05 PM

What really creeps me out is the alligators bellowing out their mating echoes all over the lake and I'm always worried that I'm between them and their lady-love. Scary stuff, that. Sounds like this:

Posted by: Mrs. Who at March 21, 2009 07:09 PM

you're so funny!

I'm much more frightened of the amoebas than the gators. I can see the gator, I cannot see the amoeba as it enters my nose and kills me.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at March 21, 2009 07:23 PM

Yup, I have a healthy respect for gators. Met a few during my Army career there at Fort Stewart and Eglin AFB. I remember paddling down the Yellow River in our little rubber boat, seeing a pair of eyes swimming straight at us. We all just pulled our outboard leg in a bit as we heard him scrape across he bottom of the boat.

And they croak, like huge bullfrogs. When it comes to camping, I'll take the mountains of west Texas any day.

Posted by: Bob at March 21, 2009 10:56 PM

Nobody worries about the Pythons?

Posted by: James Mizzell at March 22, 2009 04:15 AM

I'd be more afraid of my kids trying to LURE a gator into someone else's tent as a joke...

Mainly because that's what I would have done at that age... oh, who am I kidding, that would be funny as hell NOW :)

Posted by: Graumagus at March 22, 2009 02:25 PM